grieving

After 9 months of the loss of my wife, I am NOT coping well without her. Sorry, I did it wrong the first time Irene.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 1, 2010 at 10:39pm

Irene Parker said:

Randloph, My husband Terry has been gone 10 months. I move through the days doing what I need to do, but I'm not sure how well I'm coping. One minute I think I'm ok, the next I'm breaking down in tears again. What do you mean when you say you are coping well?

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 1, 2010 at 10:43pm

Irene Parker said:

Randloph, My husband Terry has been gone 10 months. I move through the days doing what I need to do, but I'm not sure how well I'm coping. One minute I think I'm ok, the next I'm breaking down in tears again. What do you mean when you say you are coping well?

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 1, 2010 at 10:44pm

Sorry Irene, I did it wrong.. I meant to say I am NOT coping well.

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on February 1, 2010 at 11:23pm

Hi Randolph,
I am sorry for you loss. I lost my Larry August 9 2009. You have come to the right place. I think all of us find it hard to cope and some days are worse than others. Please know that you have friends here that are willing to listen.
Take care Yvonne

Permalink Reply by Ann on February 1, 2010 at 11:30pm

Randolph, I don't think there's any right or wrong way to cope or grieve. A lot of days I just go through each day and try to separate the pleasant memories and concentrate on them. It doesn't come easy. I'm happy to have this forum to share my deepest feelings with folks I don't know so I don't have to keep burdening family and friends who may think it's time I move on with life. It will be a year in March for me but I don't think there's too many moments in each day that I don't think of my beloved husband of nearly 52 years. I will pray for you as I do all my support friends on this site.

Permalink Reply by Charles on February 2, 2010 at 6:57am

Good Morning Irene,
Is it to early to go to Wall Mart?
Well today is a new day for us all.I saw a saying,, Make the most of today because you trade it for one day of your life.How true.
As I said, I survived yesterday. I am alive.Last night was a little hard.

I read where some people try to make a deal with God,,If you will bring my love back to me I will go to church, I will do this and that.
Last night I thought about it.
One thing that stays with me is how fast time flies.Your Terry has been gone 10 months,My Doris has been gone 4 months today, Randlophs has been gone 9 months.
I hope I can get going with my life and make Doris proud of me in some way.See you at Wall Mart Irene.
Love and bless you... Charles

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 2, 2010 at 7:21am

Ann said:

Randolph, I don't think there's any right or wrong way to cope or grieve. A lot of days I just go through each day and try to separate the pleasant memories and concentrate on them. It doesn't come easy. I'm happy to have this forum to share my deepest feelings with folks I don't know so I don't have to keep burdening family and friends who may think it's time I move on with life. It will be a year in March for me but I don't think there's too many moments in each day that I don't think of my beloved husband of nearly 52 years. I will pray for you as I do all my support friends on this site.

Permalink Reply by kathleen caylor on February 2, 2010 at 7:21am

Randoph,Welcome,I'm sorry you're having a bad time.We here share similar stories.By sharing I've found out I'm not alone.My feelings are "normal"(I hate that word)And to be expected.It seems like a roller coaster ride of emotions.But one thing for sure,if you're having a "dark day" this is the place to come!We all want to talk about our experiences and feelings.My husband died 9/13/09.when you read other stories you see most of us had been in long term relationships.So it's terribly hard to move on.Listen to the stories of others and maybe you can see the struggles and how other people handle the stresses.I turned my daughter on to Legacy.com for children who have lost their fathers.I hope these wise people can help you like they have helped me through some rough spots.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 2, 2010 at 7:33am

When my wife died,I died too.Her friends,her family,dissappeared after she died.
I lost a BIG part of my heart,soul and spirit when she died. I am not suicidal but I don't want to live anymore. Its not depression. Its sadness and lonliness and the useless feeling. It seems that my whole being has now been put out to pasture,never to be accessed again. Its like I am no longer needed.
I know only I can get a grip on it, but I sure could use a hug.
And how can you handle getting up between 1:40am and 2:40 am every morning for 9 months,(Even taking a sleeping aid)? Thats the time I left for home from the hospital after she died.

Permalink Reply by kathleen caylor on February 2, 2010 at 7:35am

Irene, what you said about what other people are going through rang so true.At my husbands funeral,I looked into the crowd and realized how many had lost their spouses.I realized at that moment how painful it was for them,too.That what I was feeling at that moment they had already been through .How sorry I was that I wasn't more empathetic toward them.What a terrble learning experience.I guess we do learn from our mistakes.Have a good day.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 2, 2010 at 7:36am

kathleen caylor said:

Randoph,Welcome,I'm sorry you're having a bad time.We here share similar stories.By sharing I've found out I'm not alone.My feelings are "normal"(I hate that word)And to be expected.It seems like a roller coaster ride of emotions.But one thing for sure,if you're having a "dark day" this is the place to come!We all want to talk about our experiences and feelings.My husband died 9/13/09.when you read other stories you see most of us had been in long term relationships.So it's terribly hard to move on.Listen to the stories of others and maybe you can see the struggles and how other people handle the stresses.I turned my daughter on to Legacy.com for children who have lost their fathers.I hope these wise people can help you like they have helped me through some rough spots.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on February 2, 2010 at 7:44am

Hi Kathleen,thank you for your input.My wife was an organ donor and although there was no major organs to donate, she nevertheless helped over 75 people with her body. I keep getting literature from the organ/tissue and eyebank people about what I am going thru and coping,ect..But, all that does is reminding me of how sad and lonely I am.I recently converted a cassette tape to CD with her singing a song on kareoke at a night out. We knew the owners and they recorded us without us knowing. I am working on a reel of 8mm film to be converted to CD to have a nice remembrance of her.