How can we make this Bearable?

I read the suggestion about releasing balloons,Loved the idea of the white roses.How can we take control?At some point we are resposible for our own grief process.After the shock wears off,and the excruciating pain,what can we do for ouselves?We can't rely on others forever.Now what?Any Ideas?

Recommend

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Fernandohulya on June 23, 2010 at 2:20pm

I have deceided that I am volunteering this year because I was going to do it two years ago but my son had his operation and then my Baby...

Permalink Reply by Basia on June 23, 2010 at 3:54pm

I thought about volunteering too. Maybe at the hospital in the cancer ward. Where do you think you would like to volunteer?

Fernandohulya said:

I have deceided that I am volunteering this year because I was going to do it two years ago but my son had his operation and then my Baby...

Permalink Reply by b mohlere on June 23, 2010 at 6:46pm

I drive for Meals on Wheels. It is a way of feeling like I have value to the world. I think it matters to those people who I take the meal to, and it helps me to know that I can make a different to someone.

Permalink Reply by Patti Baker on June 23, 2010 at 9:12pm

I try to do what my husband would have wanted me to do....carry on....I am a real estate broker and work every day...I try to do some of the things we always did, football, basketball games, traveling. I am in the process of selling my home and buying a smaller one...I have tried to start over -- not easy---I do have wonderul memories...and life must go on --- not the same ---it will go on and it will be what we make it...
PS I read a lot makes the time go fast, I am not a TV person, news and sports only

Permalink Reply by Patti Baker on June 23, 2010 at 9:14pm

Tom said:

How about being there for someone else in need.
Fix a step or porch, or take their garbage away for them.
Clean their yard or inside their house.
I have a neighbor that's 98 years old and deaf, and she called me to fix her swamp cooler. I didn't want to tell her that I had retired, so I just went over to do the work for free. You can make yourself feel better doing things for others.
Another one of my neighbors died yesterday. She wanted to after her husband died a year ago. She got her wish.

Permalink Reply by Patti Baker on June 23, 2010 at 9:14pm

Tom,

Can you come over tomorrow I have a few things that need fixing....LOL Hope your heart is healing.........

Permalink Reply by Liz Minvielle on June 24, 2010 at 2:25am

As a woman undergoing the beginnings, I wonder the same thing! However, wouldn't it be nice to help others, by meeting in person?
**********Is there anyone in Santa Cruz County, who can share dinner or a hug?

Please, check out Poetic Marketer from Google's Home Page Search Bar!
Thanks,
Liz M.

Permalink Reply by Fernandohulya on June 24, 2010 at 8:21am

I want definitly to do with cancer or helping setting up support for bereaved spouses. At the moment we have Citizen Adive Bureau giving advice for people having trouble with the system. Basia, a cancer ward would be fine but no hospice as it sadly leaves me with a bitter taste I will never forget. Death should never seen as the only option for people who want to fight. I think the world is such a non future place for me. So what would everyone like to do it could be any volunteer organisation.

Liz you are so correct I think we need support too. I love to be in my house lying in my husbands side but my Baby would go so angry I would waste a day. I always think what he would think I need to start to think what I would do.....(his advice was always better then mine).

Basia said:

I thought about volunteering too. Maybe at the hospital in the cancer ward. Where do you think you would like to volunteer?

Fernandohulya said:
I have deceided that I am volunteering this year because I was going to do it two years ago but my son had his operation and then my Baby...

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on June 24, 2010 at 9:46am

To Liz and to everyone, yes wouldnt it be great to be able to get together with each other and share what we all have in common.
I know I could do some work, help out in small ways with little things. Things that need attending to. Not only big jobs but the little ones too.
It would be great to have dinner, or share a cup of coffee or just chat for a few minutes and visit. Unfortunately, we are scattered all over the place. I for one have a car that cant be trusted to go any long distance. I am in the north central part of Indiana. I would never expect anything in return nor interfere in anyones lives and families. For only we have that common bond of grieving from the loss of our spouse and the agony and torment it brings. I died when my wife died and am still like a zombie. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on June 24, 2010 at 10:24am

KATHLEEN: I AGREE WITH TOM AND THE OTHERS THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS IN NEED. RIGHT NOW I AM NO GOOD FOR ANYONE BECAUSE OF MY PAIN. WHEN THIS PAIN WEARS OFF WE HAVE A FEW RESTURANTS THAT GIVE FREE THANKSGIVING DINNERS TO THE NEEDY ALSO WE HAVE A CHRISTMAS FOR CHILDREN IN NEED. THE BANK HAS A THING FOR LESS FORTUNATE PEOPLE AND CHILDREN THAT NEED AT LEAST ONE TOY OR A ARTICLE OF CLOTHING THEY GIVE THE CHILDS NAME AND AGE WITH THE SIZE I WOULD LIKE TO VOLUNTEER FOR ONE OF THESE. I THINK IT IS GREAT CAUSE FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE

Permalink Reply by Fernandohulya on June 26, 2010 at 6:05pm

Wouldn't it be great that we gave support in such a way if some one was skilled in sorting certain chores we could just help each other. Tom, is so right that we literally scattered around everywhere but we all have such a good heart and we would if we could. Love u all and lots of hugs!

Permalink Reply by kathleen caylor on June 27, 2010 at 5:50am

Thanks for the responces.Volunteering is a great start.I'm pretty much housebound,with being caregiver to my 92 year old mother.Her health is good but she's getting frail.And never was one to go out much.So I did buy her a transport chair and do drag her out with me as much as she will allow.Like I said before,I've started making the calls.Tired of waiting for the phone to ring,sort of taking the "bull by the horns".I try to stay busy but have become a little bit of a procrastinator since all of this happened.And can't seem to stay focused.Of course with the dramatic drop in income,shopping is done sp aringly.So I guess we have to find other things to entertain us.Just trying to figure this thing called "widow hood"out.Thanks again.