Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

Image Source: StockXchng/glanzerr

Recommend

2 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary Jo Scalise on October 30, 2009 at 9:55am

Hello. What you wrote is beautiful!! thank you for letting us share that! I lost my Mom on August 28th of this year. and I feel so lost without her. I lived with her my whole life also. We did everything together. the only time we had our differences was over a man I am currently friends with. Even the Sunday before she died. She made my sister promise to watch out for me. She was so afraid that he would hurt me somehow. Looking back now, I finally see that all she wanted to do was protect me. But I miss her so much. I turned 39, 2 weeks ago and it just didn't feel the same. I went to the cemetary and just sat there and cried. Im dreading the holidays. I always decorated the house for her so she could enjoy the tree and sounds of Christmas and I even found places to take her for New Years! for 2 years we went to see Johnny Angel and the Halos (her favorite band) celebrate the new year. now everything is gone.. Im happy for her, Mom is with my Dad and all her family. but I don't mean to be selfish but I feel so alone. Im living in the house that she owned and Im going thru her things.. I just don't know what to do anymore. She was my best friend. when I was little I had difficulties in what i wanted to say. Mom always understood me.. Nobody else could.. She taught me how to drive and after I had my accident (head on collison) she made me get back in the very same car i had the accident in and made me drive. she wouldn't take no for an answer!! in our family and friends circle we were known as the dynamic duo!! She always went everywhere with me. But I didn't notice something was wrong. we were fighting so much over my friend i stayed away from her. I never noticed the change in her. that will haunt me forever. but when it came to him. Mom was always right in predicting how he would act. I just thought she wanted me to have no one. and thats where alot of the arguments were about. now Mom is gone and I can't say Im sorry..I guess we will never ever get over losing our Mothers. Your poem hit the nail on the head and again. thank you for sharing that with us!! and thank you for reading this too long letter... you will be in my prayers also...
Jennifer said:

LOVE IS ETERNAL!!!..BEAUTIFUL...

Marilyn said:
I've been following these posts and wanted to share this. I was going through papers and cards my mother had and came across this one. I wrote this to my mother a few years before she died, on her birthday. She saved this. I'm so glad I wrote this to her.

Mother...
I am a part of you...my umbilical cord...
Tied to the very center, the core, of my being.
I look at my life and all its moments,
And there you are... always a part of it.
My life has been painted against a background of your life.

Am I copying you?
Or rebelling against you?
Feeling different from you,
Or feeling the same?
Wanting to break free
Or wanting to hold on?

Who I am is so much of who you are.
What I think is so much of what you've taught me.
Where I start is where you end.
Where you've been, I will follow.
What Life has taught you, I will learn...and more.
Despite our differences,
Our Love exists.

When I was little, it was just you and me against all else.
As I grew, I watched you struggle to make a home for us.
No matter how rough the world, you were a rock for me
Always there...always strong.
Unconditional Love.
Knowing you would always hold my heart tenderly in your arms,
No matter what.
Knowing I would always hold your heart close to mine,
No matter what.

Two lives...one heart.
Created by one body.
From before birth to now,
Always a part of each other
So that if we took our Love away...
I wouldn't know...
Who I was.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 31, 2009 at 7:06am

I am never sure when/whom I am writing to if not myself? How is everyone?
I read a couple of posts of people who said they lived with their Mothers all their life. I did that also. I am sure everyone misses their Mother and it is a very difficult time. Over seven years ago, My Mother passed away at home and I will never get past this and am in denial to this day. I can't allow this to be real as I don't know how I would go on. To whomever said they had relatives and/or friends who didn't understand or want to listen....................I think they don't know what to say to us to be honest. Very hard to understand if they are not in the situation. Peace to all.....................GailM.

Permalink Reply by susan jones on November 1, 2009 at 7:37pm

HELLO MY NAME IS SUSAN JONES AND I LOST MY MOTHER2 YEARS AGO, AND i STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT. MY MOTHER AND I WHERE VERY CLOSE AND TO THIS DAY I WILL LOOK AT HER PICTURE AND HAVE A GOOD CRY. I WILL ALWAYS MISS MY MOTHER NO MATTER HOW OLD I GET. SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND A BEST FRIEND.

Permalink Reply by susan jones on November 1, 2009 at 7:42pm

susan jones said:

HELLO MY NAME IS SUSAN JONES AND I LOST MY MOTHER2 YEARS AGO, AND i STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT. MY MOTHER AND I WHERE VERY CLOSE AND TO THIS DAY I WILL LOOK AT HER PICTURE AND HAVE A GOOD CRY. I WILL ALWAYS MISS MY MOTHER NO MATTER HOW OLD I GET. SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND A BEST FRIEND.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on November 2, 2009 at 11:17am

I honestly don't think anyone ever "gets over it". I lost My Mother over seven years ago and think of Mom every day all the time. All the things we did together and She was/is my best friend. I do feel guidance from Her. My therapist told me "Life will never be the same" and she was right. I don't have any answers for anyone as I am in denial after over seven years. There are many people who have not experienced this and I think they are never sure what to say.
I want My Mother here and that is what would help and that can't be fixed.
Peace to all, GailM

Permalink Reply by white dove on November 2, 2009 at 12:07pm

Today, i miss my mom very much. While she was ill, she insisted we all hold hands and say a prayer for our dear sick friend. She left this world first, but was sooo concerned for him. He left us yesterday morning. I prayed my mom would be there with her huge wings to guide him. I SO want to call her.... but knowing they are both together now along with all their loved ones, is a comfort. Feeling orphaned. My mom was my constant confidant, and our friend was my "surrogate hubby lol", who held many people UP, including me. Blessings asked for his kind loving gentle soul. God Bless everyone here!

GailM. said:

I honestly don't think anyone ever "gets over it". I lost My Mother over seven years ago and think of Mom every day all the time. All the things we did together and She was/is my best friend. I do feel guidance from Her. My therapist told me "Life will never be the same" and she was right. I don't have any answers for anyone as I am in denial after over seven years. There are many people who have not experienced this and I think they are never sure what to say.
I want My Mother here and that is what would help and that can't be fixed.
Peace to all, GailM

Permalink Reply by GailM. on November 6, 2009 at 4:57am

I am not sure who mentioned the book "The Shack" to me. I THINK it was Jenn and I did get that from the library. I started reading it yesterday and it is a small book and should finish it this week. I usually read at night after we have all our chores completed for the day.

Peace to all.................GailM.

Permalink Reply by Janet on November 7, 2009 at 8:37pm

I lost my mom on September 8. I had talked to her on my way work that morning (the first day of school-I am a teacher) and she said good luck on the first day and I told her I would talk to her later. I called her around 5 on my way home and there was no answer. I knew something was wrong and drove over to her house. I found her dead in her chair. She was 88 years old and getting tired and more frail. But I didn't expect this yet. She and I were incredibly close-she raised me herself as a single parent. She was my best friend. I feel like a part of me is missing. I keep expecting it to be her when the phone rings. I miss her so much. Thanks for reading this.

Permalink Reply by white dove on November 7, 2009 at 10:12pm

Aww Janet, what a horrible shock! I'm so sorry for your pain. We have all suffered so in so many different ways.... I was tortured by my mom's slow progression to Heaven. It was a terrible night mare that i try my hardest to NOT bring up in my mind. so many things, that some just would not believe. So i am trying to bring out the good, funny, loving moments and cast away the others..... Peace be with you dear, for your mom's journey was swift and for this she was one very lucky soul~~

Janet said:

I lost my mom on September 8. I had talked to her on my way work that morning (the first day of school-I am a teacher) and she said good luck on the first day and I told her I would talk to her later. I called her around 5 on my way home and there was no answer. I knew something was wrong and drove over to her house. I found her dead in her chair. She was 88 years old and getting tired and more frail. But I didn't expect this yet. She and I were incredibly close-she raised me herself as a single parent. She was my best friend. I feel like a part of me is missing. I keep expecting it to be her when the phone rings. I miss her so much. Thanks for reading this.

Permalink Reply by Janet on November 7, 2009 at 10:19pm

Thank you. I know she was lucky to have departed quicky and painlessly. And she lived in her home until the end.

Permalink Reply by Janet on November 7, 2009 at 10:22pm

Thank You. I think I replied in the wrong place!

(white dove) said:

Aww Janet, what a horrible shock! I'm so sorry for your pain. We have all suffered so in so many different ways.... I was tortured by my mom's slow progression to Heaven. It was a terrible night mare that i try my hardest to NOT bring up in my mind. so many things, that some just would not believe. So i am trying to bring out the good, funny, loving moments and cast away the others..... Peace be with you dear, for your mom's journey was swift and for this she was one very lucky soul~~

Janet said:
I lost my mom on September 8. I had talked to her on my way work that morning (the first day of school-I am a teacher) and she said good luck on the first day and I told her I would talk to her later. I called her around 5 on my way home and there was no answer. I knew something was wrong and drove over to her house. I found her dead in her chair. She was 88 years old and getting tired and more frail. But I didn't expect this yet. She and I were incredibly close-she raised me herself as a single parent. She was my best friend. I feel like a part of me is missing. I keep expecting it to be her when the phone rings. I miss her so much. Thanks for reading this.

Permalink Reply by Carole on November 8, 2009 at 5:51pm

My mom died four hours ago. I am 48, she was 78- fighting small cell lung cancer. We live far apart but I was just there last week with her. She was home until yesterday when she suddenly developed pain and went into the hospital. I have a wonderful husband and three great kids, but I feel like I am the only one who feels this. They are all being supportive, but keeping on with their plans- hockey, music lessons- is this what it is like when you are a grown up losing a parent? 'Cause I don't feel like a grown up, I feel like a little girl and my heart is cracking open.