Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by Angie Ivey - Owens on March 23, 2010 at 3:20pm

I really have had a hard time with the loss of my Mom ..... everyday is a struggle to find out where I fit in. She was the center of the family. She balanced us all ! Mom was our best friend. There was never a time when she was not there, Even if she needed someone oor something - she would still give it all up to help us feell better. We just dearly miss her

Ang

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on March 25, 2010 at 10:24pm

Angie,

Is it so true, sometimes, we, do not know what we have, actually treasure, until it's gone. Now, I know, that truly this is a statement that is generic in nature, but is so true in every facet of our lives.
I hope you find some peace and support through the Legacy Connect support group.
Not just "anyone" really listens to our pain, unless you are comfortable and trusting that this group did not grow this much, with empty statements like "I am sorry for your loss".
Grief is truly an experience, that anyone would volunteer to experience!!!!!

Permalink Reply by Terri on March 27, 2010 at 6:57pm

I have a situation I'm not sure how to handle. I lost my father Dec 23rd. Before that, I became estranged from my mother who is very ill. I have tried to get back into my mother's life but she will not have it. When I lost my father, I was sent a hateful e-mail from my mother about not going to the funeral because I was sick and dad and I were not that close. My parents divorced 35 years ago so I didn't think it was her place to do so. She could have at least sent a card. I feel bad about not attending the funeral but there were other family members I did not want to see and I feel the funeral is for the living. My mother's health is bad and she has turned the whole family against me. After my father passed, she said she would not have anyone call me upon her death. To make matters more stressful, my son is getting married and I have had a falling out with her and her family. There is so much going on, I don't even know I am making sense here. I just feel overwhelmed, my faith is gone, and I don't know how to have closure on a mother that will die but I will not be informed.

Permalink Reply by white dove on March 27, 2010 at 7:14pm

Terri, your family sounds like mine. The best we can do is find more loving, caring people out in the world to replace the others. It's our choosing who we want in our lives. It is crazy how our lives can turn upside down with a loss of a loved one. And it can be lonesome, for a bit, but hang in there. I have, and also have found a wonderful church (i haven't belonged for years), and i've made a few other changes and i feel life will be better. Our parents passing changes our lives in SO many ways. i have a step parent who probably wont inform me of news.. but i do call my father as often as i can to remind him that i love him. I surely didn't ever dream life would crumble as it has, but we must adjust. Prayers to all

Terri said:

I have a situation I'm not sure how to handle. I lost my father Dec 23rd. Before that, I became estranged from my mother who is very ill. I have tried to get back into my mother's life but she will not have it. When I lost my father, I was sent a hateful e-mail from my mother about not going to the funeral because I was sick and dad and I were not that close. My parents divorced 35 years ago so I didn't think it was her place to do so. She could have at least sent a card. I feel bad about not attending the funeral but there were other family members I did not want to see and I feel the funeral is for the living. My mother's health is bad and she has turned the whole family against me. After my father passed, she said she would not have anyone call me upon her death. To make matters more stressful, my son is getting married and I have had a falling out with her and her family. There is so much going on, I don't even know I am making sense here. I just feel overwhelmed, my faith is gone, and I don't know how to have closure on a mother that will die but I will not be informed.

Permalink Reply by Wendy35 on March 28, 2010 at 2:47pm

I lost my mother 6 years ago. She had a brain aneurysm. She was my friend, my confidant and shopping buddy. I had accepted her death as something I couldn't control and figured it was for a reason, not a good reason, but a reason none the less. I thought I was done losing for awhile until 12/18/2009, my older brother died suddenly of a heart attack. He was only 38. So, thinking I had coped successfully with my mom's death, I have lost my brother too very suddenly. Losing two people in your life that you have relied on for your whole life so quickly is often times too much and I shut everything out. I don't know how Mom would have reacted to my brother's death. I just wish she was here now, because I feel so lost without her.

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on March 28, 2010 at 11:03pm

I know in due time, we can begin to grasp how to handle loss and grief...I know it is so painful, memories, etc., some days are better then others. I pray God will bless all of us, and send our guardian angels to love us, and protect us. I finally went to a brand new church for the first time, since I promised myself when Mom passed, and it took me three months. I am so slow trying to move on, but I did have some peace for the 60 minutes. I was raised Catholic, and I went to a Presbyterian church, and maybe the new journey was a good thing, because my mother raised me catholic. I wish I had the wisdom to know if it will be easier one church at a time, one day at a time, and when the tears just flow for no reason....I go to one minute at a time. Be safe on your journey, and trust the ones that love and can care for you the most. Belinda

Permalink Reply by Michael on March 29, 2010 at 12:01pm

I lost my mom about ten years ago due to breast cancer. She was everyone's best friend and tried to make things fun all the time. I was sixteen at the time. Is natural to still feel upset about it? It was such a long time ago although on certain days it still feels like it was yesterday. I never got a chance to say goodbye because I didn't know she was that sick. My parents thought it would be better if my brother and I didn't know the whole truth so we wouldn't worry about something we couldn't change. I wish I had taken the time to say goodbye before I left for school the day she died. I'll never get that chance back. Thanks for your thoughts.

Permalink Reply by Stacie Jones on March 29, 2010 at 9:14pm

i am 25 she would be 55 tomorrow and i really dnt know how to deal with it

Permalink Reply by Stacie Jones on March 29, 2010 at 9:15pm

my mom was talking to my aunt when she died no one even knew what happend it happend so sudden

Permalink Reply by white dove on March 29, 2010 at 9:41pm

My mom will be gone~ one year tomorrow. I am not sure what i will feel.. or really what im going to do other than visit a tree we planted in her memory. I have read alot of articles, and now know that i will do something calming and quiet.. so that i may feel comfortable in letting out my emotions. This is to you MOM, we miss you so very much, it seems like just yesterday we were laughing, but in other ways of our hearts breaking, time has stood still. I would give anything to have you with us again. I pray that God has filled your heart totally up with love so that you could not want for anything more. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo's your baby and grandbaby.

Stacie Jones said:

i am 25 she would be 55 tomorrow and i really dnt know how to deal with it

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on March 30, 2010 at 10:13am

Stacie,
I responded to your sharing about your mom, I am not sure I understand the Legacy system completely. I hope you got my note. I am 54 and have 3 sons 29,27,and 22. I have often explained some of my "non-normal" behavior, but you have never lossed your Mom. I still don't think they are mature enough to get it. Then I look at you, and if I lost one of them, I probably would be devastated beyond words.....Blessings to you and your sweet little baby...May your Mom rest in peace, and may you be sent an angel to guide you through your precious youth. I could go on and on, but please check in with me, and let me know how it is going.....I know she is guiding you, you may have to just listen a little harder,to how she communicates how much she hated leaving you...............Belinda

Stacie Jones said:

i am 25 she would be 55 tomorrow and i really dnt know how to deal with it

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on March 30, 2010 at 11:19am

Wendy,

I am just getting the hang of this website, please know the response I sent to the group, was dedicated to you! Thanks Belinda

Wendy35 said:

I lost my mother 6 years ago. She had a brain aneurysm. She was my friend, my confidant and shopping buddy. I had accepted her death as something I couldn't control and figured it was for a reason, not a good reason, but a reason none the less. I thought I was done losing for awhile until 12/18/2009, my older brother died suddenly of a heart attack. He was only 38. So, thinking I had coped successfully with my mom's death, I have lost my brother too very suddenly. Losing two people in your life that you have relied on for your whole life so quickly is often times too much and I shut everything out. I don't know how Mom would have reacted to my brother's death. I just wish she was here now, because I feel so lost without her.