Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Karen on June 20, 2009 at 11:32pm

My dad just passed away in January. He suffered from mental illness, as do I. I've been struggling feeling like the only person who understood me is gone. And of course these feelings are magnified with Father's Day tomorrow. I am just trying to remember the good times and try to hear his voice when I get lonely. I miss you daddy!

Permalink Reply by Leslie Joy Mills on June 21, 2009 at 3:37am

I lost my dad on August 4, 2002, and it feels like yesterday still. I was "daddy's girl" and his "favorite daughter" (his only daughter), and for some reason, he called me "Susie." My name is Leslie. It was devastating losing a parent, but I never thought my father would die. He had lived through WWII and had a very difficult life and his many demons, which he kept to himself. He was a quiet man, but I knew him well. He always seemed to be thinking about something, and he never really talked very much. Mom talked all the time, so I think she talked to take up the empty space my dad left. Nevertheless, I miss him after all these years, and every year, it is so hard to deal with his birthday, Christmas, the anniversary of his death, Father's Day. I think of him everyday. I cry about him on occasion. Things he used to say or do keep popping up out of the blue, and I remember how much he loved me, and how much I loved him. People say you get over deaths, but you really don't. You just get through them. Life becomes different, and they leave behind a void and a little piece of your heart is missing. There is an ache that is indescribable. And it is awful being an orphan. My mother died on her dad's birthday, January 27, 2006, and she was my best friend. I spoke to her everyday, and I lived with her for 2-1/2 years before dad died. We became so close that I told her if she ever left me, I would want to go, too. When she did go, it was a week long ordeal, but it was so unexpected, like dad's death. I was with both of them for the week that they were not conscious and held their hands, curled up next to them, whispered in their ears. No, I don't get over them; I just keep them with me even though I wish I didn't still cry every time I think of them, which is everyday. Tomorrow is Father's Day, and I wish my dad were here. I wish my mom were here, and I just turned 59 yesterday. You would think someone my age would be beyond grieving still for her parents, but it doesn't really make any difference how old you are, how old they were. It's just too final, and I was never ready. And still cannot believe they are gone. I love you, mom and dad, and I think of you everyday. I just hope that you are in a better place and are looking down on me because who knew me better than anyone else? Who was smarter than I thought I was? And why was it that I was so sure you were always wrong? Now I know. I was the one who needed the wisdom that you had. There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but if I could tell you one thing it would be that I wish I had appreciated you more when I was younger. I was a good daughter when you got older, and I just wish I had been better when we had more time. All my love to both of you, and particularly, on Father's Day. I was born exactly 9 months from my dad's birthday, September 19th. I guess I was special; I know I was lucky to have had you as parents. Godspeed. Your loving daughter always, Leslie.

Permalink Reply by Deborah Rhodes on June 21, 2009 at 2:28pm

Today marks the 23rd year of losing my dad (Leo X. Wooden) to cancer. He not only died on Fathers Day but his birthday as well. I think of my my dad daily but this particular day is the most difficult for me to get through.
It's hard for me to remember his face anymore. In my mind I see him as a much younger dad with his rich dark hair and sparkeling hazel eyes. I treasure each moment that we shared together as his oldest daugher, the apple of his eye, and his middle child I will always cherish his memory, the love he provided to me and the wisdom he shared. Thank you for being my daddy - I will always love you.

Permalink Reply by Kathy Moore on June 21, 2009 at 7:20pm

My Dad Died August 7, 1992. I really miss Pop. He was a very good father. I am his Baby girl I have 2 sisters older than me and a Brother he also the oldest. Pop was a very health man until 4 years before he die. He died of Stomach Cancer. I was there in the room when he pass away. My mother died December 25. 1979. I still have troble at times went Holidays and birhtdays. I miss Pop but I smile went I think of somethings he said or do. Pop is well known he know a lot people. since he left us I lost a Brother and a Sister. Yes it does get lonely there are time I want to call him up and let him know what going on but I forget that he in heaven. I had a dream the other day about Pop it seem that we all at the house together. I guest he letting me know he ok.
I know it hard to deal with the loss of your father but I want everyone know I am going through the same thing. I just deal with it diffrently.
HAPPY FATHER DAY POP
Love your baby daughter
Kathy

Permalink Reply by Connie on June 21, 2009 at 11:53pm

My Father died 9 years ago and I figured it would get better with time. Well it has but it's days like today and times when I need my Daddy that I miss him the most. I still cry like it just happened. Why???? It still hurts so deep inside losing my dad. It's almost like I cannot breathe at times. I don't know what to do next without asking for my dad's advice, but then I realize that I cannot just pick up the phone and call him, anymore. This happens more times than I care to admit to. I really miss him still so much!! I often wonder if the pain will ever subside. I know it will get easier. It's just a matter of time and lots of praying! Happy Dad's Day, Daddy!!!! We all love and miss you deeply!!!!

Permalink Reply by Patricia V. McQueen on June 22, 2009 at 8:27am

My father died on Monday June 15, 2009. We had his memorial service on Friday June 19th. I too have not wailed but I am very sad. I keep remembering John 5:28, 29. Being a bible reader helps me function. My faith and hope keeps it real to me.

Permalink Reply by cat on June 22, 2009 at 8:51am

Your story made me so sad but always know that no matter how our parents our they still have love inside. You did all you could do to please him and he did not return that but its okay God will watch over you forever and you will have eternal peace. We can all find stories that are bad and that are goodwe are not perfect and alcohol adds terrible things to a person. I am sorry for your loss of your son, but know this your not alone.

lynn rushing said:

my daddy was a hard man,but i loved him very much.he drink alot almost till the end.i tried to be invisible when he did this. he never told me i did anything he approved of.his biggest dream his whole life was to have a son .it never came true.my frist child was a boy i named him richard after my daddy.he didn't come to the hosiptal to see us,but when he was two weeks old he and my mother came and asked for him to go home with them to spent the night.my daddy passed away april 24 1999.i had to remind myself all the time no matter how long he lived he would of always been the same to me.well on dec.3 2008 my 35 yr.old son died.so even thou things never changed for me and my dad.you now have with you the only thing that i did right for you.so happy fathers day and know i miss you both.

Permalink Reply by Toni on June 22, 2009 at 11:55am

Memories of my Dad are ever more poignant on "Fathers Day," because even though this was his day to be honored, he always provided his children with a BBQ in his home. So, in essence our presence was his badge of honor.
A former Marine, Daddy provided us six children the discipline that we required and needed. His structure was equal, but I being the eldest, my Daddy expected me to be his ears and eyes in the care of my younger siblings.That was then, and this is now. I'm an adult now, and am grateful for his discipline, structure, and support. I was not in the least a perfect child, sister or person, but my fear and respect of him, provided me a perspective that my actions would acquire negative consequences. Disappointing Daddy was not an option.
Just celebrated my 54th Birthday in May, and instead of celebrating the "special" day that my parents bestowed on me out of love for one another, I felt meloncholic; you see he always called me first thing early morning to wish me a "Happy Birthday." Daddys childhood friend, my Godfather, has assumed the responsiblity of doing so every year since Daddys death.
Daddy was a stickler for traditions. Daddy took me to an upscale department store for my first training bra. Daddy bought me my first prom dress. Daddy would purchase all my feminine items that I required. Daddy was my first love before I paid attention to any other boy. I wanted to marry a man just like Daddy....and I did. Also, an retired military man.
Suddenly, one summer day in July of 2003, @ age 69, he died. My comfort is that he went to join our younger brother who had also suddenly died in September 2002 @ age 44. Daddy was an awesome Daddy to all of us though he was not a perfect man, he provided us the memories that "we" need to survive his absence, especially on "Fathers Day."
Daddy, I'm finally a Grandmother, and she's 5 years of age now, and you would've been a GREAT Great-Grandfather just as you were a Daddy, and a Grandfather. Thank you Daddy for the Gift of Life. And, I'm doing exactly what you always wanted for me and that's Living Life, and not allowing Life to Live Me.

Permalink Reply by Steve Dennis on June 23, 2009 at 2:41am

My dad passed away 4/16/06 Easter Sunday. I know people always say my Dad was the greatest which I know they are but my Dad was a very special person.
He loved his wife, his kids and his grandkids. He died on Easter Sunday because God wanted him on that day because of how special he was ( that is what family & friends always say)
My Dad was and is to this day my role model. The way he raised a family like he did and care about family & friends like he did. My dad didn't have a Dad growing up but the way he was with us you never would have known it.
Dad there isn't a day that goes by I don't think about you. I miss you so very much. I miss noy being able to stop by the house just to say Hi & sit & talk or call on the phone and just to hear your voice. I know you are in a better place now and someday down the road I will see you again but till then I will miss you with all my heart as does everybody in our family

Permalink Reply by patricia hurley on June 23, 2009 at 10:39pm

I LOST MY DAD WHEN iWAS 10 .iAM NOW 57, THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT i DON.T THING OF HIM. iT WAS VEREY UNEPECTED, HE DIED OF A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK. tHE STRANGE PART ABOUT IT WAS i WAS 11 AND i KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, THE WHOLE WEEKEND i STAYED AWAY,FROM HIM THINKING IF I DID .IT WOUDNT HAPPEN BUT GUESS WHAT IT DID .i LOVED MY DAD MORE THAN LIFE IT SELF, HE LEFT ME. THE NIGHT BEFORE THE VEIWING i WAS SLEEPING WITH MY MOM, i WAS JUST LAYING THER AND SAW A WHITE SHADOW WALK THEW THE DOOR, BENT OVER AND KISSED ME , i WENT TO TOUCH MY MOM TO LET HER KNOW .i COULD NOT MOVE SAW HIM GO OUT THE DOOR, YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THEM, BELIVE ME IT GETS HARDER EVEY YEAR,i MISS MY DAD SO MUCH, i LOST MY DAD IN 1962,

Permalink Reply by Katherine Puent on July 2, 2009 at 6:25am

My Dad was so special. He was the true Italian. If you came to our house, he would almost be insulted if he couldn't get you to eat or drink something. My Grandparents were farmers in Termini Sicily. When they came to the US, of course they worked with what they knew,,fruits and vegetables. My Grandfather used to drive his horse & fruit wagon down Summit Ave. in St. Paul, MN., and sold fruit off the wagon. My fondest memory of Dad, is when the TV repairman came to fix our TV. We were eating supper at the time, so of course Dad told me to get another plate. Well, that poor guy,Daddy kept arguing about him getting something to eat, he couldn't get that TV fixed and out of our house fast enough. I was thirteen at the time, and just wanted to hide somewhere. But, that was my Dad. My Dad went to join my Mom and sister Gina on Nov,28th 2008. We couldn't have a memorial, that just wasn't Dad. He already had the mass and ws given his last rites, so, instead we had a Celebration of his life. Instead of flowers, we had fruit baskets, and invited the guests to help themselves. Instead of a person that didn't know my Dad to give the Eulogy, each one of us kids said what special memory we had of Dad. Life just hasn't been the same. It seems to have lost some of the sparkle. He told really REALLY dumb jokes, and I don't know of anyone who could murder the English language like he could. Of course we didn't fully realize that until some of our friends looked at us like" is that a word???" I miss him so much. I just keep remembering, he's not far, just a breath away.

Permalink Reply by Sandi on July 16, 2009 at 11:47am

It's been almost a year since my dad passed and I keep wondering when it will be easier. He not only was my Dad, but a great friend who I could talk to, and give me a big hug which made life just a little more bearable. Everyone says it will get easier, and for the most part it has, but not a day goes by that I think of him and how much I miss him and I tear up.
I never knew I could miss someone so much.

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