Thanks Jessica. I hope you're doing well too, Tammy. Yes, holidays are not something I celebrate anymore.
I just received an email from someone named Kathleen who visited my tribute website and the Legacy Memorial website to my Robert. It was a very nice email and I cried as I read it. I responded to her that people visit the websites but never leave comments or sign the Guest Book, so I never know if the websites benefit anyone. Thanks again. Barry
Sadly, in early December 2004, Rose Marie was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in one of her lungs. Experts agreed that it was fast growing and had to be removed. The surgery was performed later in December, and about a week afterward, the surgeon came into Rose’s hospital room while I was there and said: “Rose Marie, go home! You’re healed!”
However, only a few days after coming home, Rose Marie began to have severe pains in her stomach area and elsewhere. These persisted, so she went back to the hospital for further tests. It was found that for some reason, a number of her vital organs were producing blood clots that were preventing those organs from getting the necessary oxygen. The doctors did everything humanly possible to counteract this but were unsuccessful. Only a few weeks later, on January 30, 2005, I suffered the most crushing blow of my whole life. My dearest Rose Marie died.
Mike I so feel for you because of your loss of Rose Marie.Do you ever reach a new state of normalcy? My wife Marilyn passed away in Febuary of this year.She had a lung removed because of cancer but after arduous chemotherapy she developed cancer in her remaining lung and after two years succumbed to it.I thought I had prepared myself for her death but I was prepared for nothing.The feelings of emptiness and hoplesness
are impossible to describe. I manage at work but that is only because of the time I have been doing it.Everything else seems to be only dull grey.Einars Simons
Oh i'm so so sorry to hear that about your wife....I wrote about Rose Mary for someone else..as a Tribute to them..to share their story....Nevertheless...I Truely do understant..that everything is Dull and Grey....You miss her ...I do to know what it means to lose someone....I Recently lost a brother ....He was my heart.....I miss him so so much...But like your wife....They both have a hope....We can believe in....That we will see them soon ...So hold on...We will see them soon................
thank you mike for your condolences for the loss of my wife.I totally feel sad for the loss of your brother as well.we do have to hold on.I have no idea where i am going now as on the 16 of july my dad passed on.he was 88 in a long term care facility but managing a large tumour was found on his stomach wall and because of his age surgery was not an option.he and i were good buddies and had wonderful discussions about everything under the sun.he also died on the same day 2 hours after marilyn1s death 5 months ago.i am terrified that i will be back to square one in the grieving process. God bless you Mike and I hope we talk again.
The loss of a marriage partner is another kind of trauma, especially if both led a very active life together. It can mean the end of a whole life-style that they shared, of travel, work, entertainment, and interdependence.
Eunice explains what happened when her husband suddenly died of a heart attack. “For the first week, I was in a state of emotional numbness, as if I had stopped functioning. I could not even taste or smell. Yet, my sense of logic continued in a detached way. Because I had been with my husband while they were trying to stabilize him using CPR and medication, I did not suffer the usual denial symptoms. Nevertheless, there was an intense feeling of frustration, as if I was watching a car go over a cliff and there was nothing I could do about it.”
Did she weep? “Of course I did, especially when I read the hundreds of sympathy cards I had received. I cried with each one. It helped me to face up to the rest of the day. But nothing could help when I was asked repeatedly how I felt. Obviously, I was miserable.”
What helped Eunice to live through her grief? “Without realizing it, I unconsciously made the decision to go on with my life,” she says. “However, what still hurts me is when I remember that my husband, who loved life so much, is not here to enjoy it.”
On the morning of July 15 2008, I lost my fiancé of a Brain Aneurysm he was only 48 years old.. On that day, my world collapsed. I still have not come to terms with my loss. I am trying my hardest to deal with it but I don't know how I want to keep the home just the way he left it and I don't want to take off my ring I know or at least people say I need to move on but I am not ready Kevin is my only family I lost my dad 11 years ago but the pain is nothing like this my mom is still alive but we don't get along I call Kevin's cell phone just to hear his voice I try to keep my head together but it was so hard I was NOT prepared for Kevin dying Kevin death was unexpected, we did not even know he had Brain Aneurysm . He was only 48 years old,
I used to fly off the handle and get upset about trivial things. You know like if the house was not clean etc. But now I feel that life is too short, and you just don't know if you are saying good night for the last time. Who cares what the house looks like now. I thought I was going to grow old that we were going to have a family he is my family nothing makes sense to me any more it is like what did I do so wrong that God had to turn my daughter and my life up side down I try to explain to my daughter that her step daddy is ok in heaven, but all I do is cry . She can not understand why I am crying if heaven beautiful & wonderful, yet I am so sad. All I tell her is that I miss Kevin and the family that we were I am scared that my life will never be better I know I will never have a man that loves me and my daughter like Kevin does I try to hold on to things like for a week this bird kept coming to my window every morning I would wake up and that bird was there I tried to believe that it was Kevin coming to me and telling me that things will get better but I really don't think I believe it I what to believe it just like I want to believe that one day when I go to heaven that I will be with him again but I don't know if that really is true either the one thing I do know is I am so unhappy and I miss Kevin more then words can even say I really am trying to be strong for my daughter but I really don't know how long I can keep this up
Wendy Higgins Kevin's fiancé
I'm so sorry for your loss Wendy. It was a year on May 8th, 2008 for Robert, my Life-Partner. I lost my Mom and Robert within 5 months of each other. You've expressed a few things that I still feel so strongly about. You have a daughter who needs you more, since it's the two of you now. My siblings are very distant, my dad and I don't speak (long story) and I don't speak to any of my other relatives for various reasons. My Mom and Robert were the most important people in my life. Now I have no one and I also wonder how long I can bear this. Remember that your daughter will miss Kevin as well and she will need your support. I don't know how old your daughter is but it may help to ask her how she feels. Engage her thoughts and feelings, and share yours, so that you will be able to help each other. Take care.
Thank you Barry
my daughter is 10 years old I have tryed to talk to her but it makes her sad and she starts to cry then I start to cry I don't know what I am trying to say I know I just had another dream and it is like Kevin is trying to tell me something
you also take care of you self you can e mail me when ever you want I can be your ear and even your shoulder if you just need to talk
You're very kind, Wendy. Thank you. I'm glad that you are talking to your daughter and you've even stated that she becomes sad, which shows that she misses Kevin as well. Children are extremely resilient and view things with the innocence that we, as adults, have lost. I wish you and your daughter well. Take care.
Thank you Barry
Ijust want to make sure I am doing the right thing for Sarah she is all I have left and I love her so much it is just without Kevin I don't think I can go on But I know I need to for Sarah