Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by annalise samuel lapira on June 3, 2009 at 5:19am

sorry having problems posting

Permalink Reply by annalise samuel lapira on June 3, 2009 at 5:31am

sorry dont know what is happening

Permalink Reply by sue on June 3, 2009 at 6:46am

Lisa and Christine, I am proud for you that you are thinking with hope. We didn't choice this, it was handed to us and what is the saying, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonaide". I personally think it makes sense to try to think like our partner would have thought about us in this situation. They would want you to have whatever you need to have a full life. Think about how you would feel about them if the situation was reversed. (Besides they are not in the physical but spiritual realm so it is different.) If that includes another partner then I for one feel they would be right there cheering you on. I am not there yet and may never be but I am 60 and at 35 and 44 I honestly believe I would have been more open to another relationship. Maybe still, who knows. I say if God wants me in another relationship he will make him so appealing that I will not be able to say no, just like it was with Tom. I was divorced for 12 years and never wanted to marry guys I dated but married Tom in 9 months. Wow, a miracle in itself. I believe it honors what we have to want to have it again in some way.
Lisa, your sis is just talking. Good grief, what does she know? If you would hook up with someone that made you smile again, she would probably be begging to meet him. People just open their mouth and say stupid things sometimes. I think our loved one are concerned that in our grief we will get the wrong one and maybe even someone that will hurt us in some way. Who knows, but I am proud of both of you if that means anything coming from an ol broad. Gigs suep

Permalink Reply by Lisa on June 3, 2009 at 8:28am

Sue,
It means allot to hear someone say that. I am not sure about Christine but my family is very closed minded about these things. I still miss Bruno and always will and people just don't understand that I guess.
But thank you for your kind words.

sue said:

Lisa and Christine, I am proud for you that you are thinking with hope. We didn't choice this, it was handed to us and what is the saying, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonaide". I personally think it makes sense to try to think like our partner would have thought about us in this situation. They would want you to have whatever you need to have a full life. Think about how you would feel about them if the situation was reversed. (Besides they are not in the physical but spiritual realm so it is different.) If that includes another partner then I for one feel they would be right there cheering you on. I am not there yet and may never be but I am 60 and at 35 and 44 I honestly believe I would have been more open to another relationship. Maybe still, who knows. I say if God wants me in another relationship he will make him so appealing that I will not be able to say no, just like it was with Tom. I was divorced for 12 years and never wanted to marry guys I dated but married Tom in 9 months. Wow, a miracle in itself. I believe it honors what we have to want to have it again in some way.
Lisa, your sis is just talking. Good grief, what does she know? If you would hook up with someone that made you smile again, she would probably be begging to meet him. People just open their mouth and say stupid things sometimes. I think our loved one are concerned that in our grief we will get the wrong one and maybe even someone that will hurt us in some way. Who knows, but I am proud of both of you if that means anything coming from an ol broad. Gigs suep

Permalink Reply by Christine on June 3, 2009 at 2:56pm

Lisa, honestly I dont know. My family only met her once cause they live in South Florida, but I think they would be for it. I am closer to annette's family cause they are here and I spent so much time with them. I really dont know what they would say, I think I would be too scared to be seen with anyone even if I was ready, which I am not. But, its weird, cause legally, we werent married.. not for lack of wanting, just not allowed to, so, some people dont see it as a marriage like we did and probably dont see anything wrong with moving on. In our eyes, we were as married as any of the traditional marriages and there was no difference in how we lived either.. Its all the same. I miss her like crazy and it still hurts like hell.

Lisa said:

Sue,
It means allot to hear someone say that. I am not sure about Christine but my family is very closed minded about these things. I still miss Bruno and always will and people just don't understand that I guess.
But thank you for your kind words.

sue said:

Lisa and Christine, I am proud for you that you are thinking with hope. We didn't choice this, it was handed to us and what is the saying, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonaide". I personally think it makes sense to try to think like our partner would have thought about us in this situation. They would want you to have whatever you need to have a full life. Think about how you would feel about them if the situation was reversed. (Besides they are not in the physical but spiritual realm so it is different.) If that includes another partner then I for one feel they would be right there cheering you on. I am not there yet and may never be but I am 60 and at 35 and 44 I honestly believe I would have been more open to another relationship. Maybe still, who knows. I say if God wants me in another relationship he will make him so appealing that I will not be able to say no, just like it was with Tom. I was divorced for 12 years and never wanted to marry guys I dated but married Tom in 9 months. Wow, a miracle in itself. I believe it honors what we have to want to have it again in some way.
Lisa, your sis is just talking. Good grief, what does she know? If you would hook up with someone that made you smile again, she would probably be begging to meet him. People just open their mouth and say stupid things sometimes. I think our loved one are concerned that in our grief we will get the wrong one and maybe even someone that will hurt us in some way. Who knows, but I am proud of both of you if that means anything coming from an ol broad. Gigs suep

Permalink Reply by Lisa on June 3, 2009 at 4:31pm

Christine,
Whoever would think other wise is an idoit!!! Love is love thats how I look at it and always have. Like I have said on here time and time before to Barry and now to you. I don't care what kind of love it is a man loving another man, a women loving another women or a man and a woman loving each other it is all the same we don't control who what where why and when we fall inlove with someone. It would take a really stupid person to say that you don't hurt as much as they do just because you are who you are and you love who you love. When you are inlove like we are then it hurts like hell. I know that Bruno is my soulmate and that he is the person I want to be with in the eternities when I die. I know that I will always and forever miss him until the day that we are together again and I know in my heart that you feel the same about Annette I belive that is all that matters. The law may not have let you two be married but I strongly belive in matters of the heart and soul not mans law.
You are in my prayers
Christine said:

Lisa, honestly I dont know. My family only met her once cause they live in South Florida, but I think they would be for it. I am closer to annette's family cause they are here and I spent so much time with them. I really dont know what they would say, I think I would be too scared to be seen with anyone even if I was ready, which I am not. But, its weird, cause legally, we werent married.. not for lack of wanting, just not allowed to, so, some people dont see it as a marriage like we did and probably dont see anything wrong with moving on. In our eyes, we were as married as any of the traditional marriages and there was no difference in how we lived either.. Its all the same. I miss her like crazy and it still hurts like hell.

Lisa said:

Sue,
It means allot to hear someone say that. I am not sure about Christine but my family is very closed minded about these things. I still miss Bruno and always will and people just don't understand that I guess.
But thank you for your kind words.

sue said:

Lisa and Christine, I am proud for you that you are thinking with hope. We didn't choice this, it was handed to us and what is the saying, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonaide". I personally think it makes sense to try to think like our partner would have thought about us in this situation. They would want you to have whatever you need to have a full life. Think about how you would feel about them if the situation was reversed. (Besides they are not in the physical but spiritual realm so it is different.) If that includes another partner then I for one feel they would be right there cheering you on. I am not there yet and may never be but I am 60 and at 35 and 44 I honestly believe I would have been more open to another relationship. Maybe still, who knows. I say if God wants me in another relationship he will make him so appealing that I will not be able to say no, just like it was with Tom. I was divorced for 12 years and never wanted to marry guys I dated but married Tom in 9 months. Wow, a miracle in itself. I believe it honors what we have to want to have it again in some way.
Lisa, your sis is just talking. Good grief, what does she know? If you would hook up with someone that made you smile again, she would probably be begging to meet him. People just open their mouth and say stupid things sometimes. I think our loved one are concerned that in our grief we will get the wrong one and maybe even someone that will hurt us in some way. Who knows, but I am proud of both of you if that means anything coming from an ol broad. Gigs suep

Permalink Reply by BarryWHK on June 3, 2009 at 7:50pm

Lisa, You said a helluva mouthful. Thank you for expressing it. It’s over 2 years and no one could ever say that this Love between Robert and me is not real or worthwhile. I have been hurting for so long, it is all I know at this point in my life. I am lost and without direction or reason. When it comes to who we Love, we can’t control it. Look at My Beautiful Love. Laws are created and interpreted by man, for only very small, particular, phrases in the bible – the ones man wants to control. Thank you for seeing things as they truly are. Also, the Memories section in Bruno’s memorial website has the lyrics from Reba’s song, If I Had Only Known, which is one of my dedication songs to Robert, My Life’s Love. It is on His memorial website too. Barry

Permalink Reply by Lisa on June 4, 2009 at 8:22am

Barry,
I am glad that maybe my words could help. I think that the Reba song says allot for all of us if everyone would take the time to read them. In your case maybe more. As I did not have to hide my love for Bruno as you did Robert because closed minded people would not allow you to express it. Just know that Robert loves you and I truely belive that you will be with him in the eternities as God I think wants us to love deeply. I have read the bible and I don't remember it saying that you would not go to heaven it says in John 3:16 that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotton son that WHO SO EVER belive in him shall have ever lasting life!!! It does not say that who so ever be stright shall have ever lasting life!!! You and Robert are children of God and you loved each other so deeply that is apparent. I think we are judged on how much we loved on this earth not who. That is just my thoughts.
You are in my prayers often

BarryWHK said:

Lisa, You said a helluva mouthful. Thank you for expressing it. It’s over 2 years and no one could ever say that this Love between Robert and me is not real or worthwhile. I have been hurting for so long, it is all I know at this point in my life. I am lost and without direction or reason. When it comes to who we Love, we can’t control it. Look at My Beautiful Love. Laws are created and interpreted by man, for only very small, particular, phrases in the bible – the ones man wants to control. Thank you for seeing things as they truly are. Also, the Memories section in Bruno’s memorial website has the lyrics from Reba’s song, If I Had Only Known, which is one of my dedication songs to Robert, My Life’s Love. It is on His memorial website too. Barry

Permalink Reply by sue on June 4, 2009 at 11:27am

Wow you guys, you are misting me up.
Lisa, Christine, Barry, I agree, I don't really understand why some people are attracted to the same sex because honestly, I love men but I love people more. I say we are to love each other and not judge. I have long time friends that I truly love and I think there are things we will never understand in the human form and that is why God said not to judge others.
I told a older friend of mine once when he was complaining about the marriage thing between same sex that I felt they would and should be allowed to marry , and that companies would have to accept them as "a couple". It just makes sense to me on a personal level that a "partner" is a choice. I doesn't seem legal to me that your choice can not be considered your legal partner in marriage. Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I know "the church" doesn't agree but the church is "God's people" and all people are not biased towards others. Try not to judge christians by other christians. They are not all alike or at the same level of understanding his ways. Even the Bible says, "The greatest of these is love". I believe God loves us in spite of us and continues to love us if we have accepted him as our truth. We are all just people trying to understand and survive and do the best we can. I believe God understands this.
I am sorry you had to hide your love for each other. That must have been difficult but I wonder in my heart if most people knew anyway. I really feel your pain and hope beyound hope that you can be happy again, all of you. Fondly, Suep

Permalink Reply by einars simons on June 6, 2009 at 5:44pm

einars here hello all this is just so horrible i thought i had things figured out but ive been sitting on the balcony all afternoon listening to our favorite music and crying about marilyns death how long does this go on does anyone have any answers

Permalink Reply by Lisa on June 6, 2009 at 8:13pm

Einars,
God knows I wish I had the answers. I don't know why we have been left behind to suffer in this awful life without them. I know that even almost 7 months later I am still looking for the answers to all of this. On why my heart and soul was ripped from me only 3 years into our life together. On why my baby was taken away from me at 49 years old. God knows I beg and beg to the answers but still have gotton none none at all. Good luck in your search and please let the rest of us know when you find the answers. Just know your Marilyns love feel her everlasting love for her.

einars simons said:

einars here hello all this is just so horrible i thought i had things figured out but ive been sitting on the balcony all afternoon listening to our favorite music and crying about marilyns death how long does this go on does anyone have any answers

Permalink Reply by BarryWHK on June 6, 2009 at 11:11pm

Lisa,
Thanks again for your kind words.

Einars,
As for answers, my mind is constantly searching because none of this makes any sense. I still cannot believe it. I try to comprehend all that has happened but nothing and no one has been able to provide any insight. I still see Robert as if it was just yesterday but at the same time, I know the truth. It feels like someone is playing mind games with me or I’m stuck in a nightmare, hoping it will end soon. No, I haven’t found any answers yet. Barry

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