The loss of a child

Ms. Joni,
My heart goes out to you and all those that have lost their children. My six-year old Elijah Anthony Kay Wheatley passed away Nov. 1, 2008 because of the carelessness of people in my family that used drugs, and he consumed whatever it was that was left in his path. And I lost him. And, well everything after that is just pretty much a nightmare. My family was led the police and I to believe for the longest time that the matter was just a freak accident, but it wasn't. They left my son to lay dying for almost four hours before notifying me or seeking emergency help. I thought I was going to be okay, but lately I have been coming some what unglued. I'm just really getting tired of the indifference. Like, I can't cry "sometimes." I think I identified with you, because I don't have constant meltdowns, I just wish sometimes that people would have some respect for when I am upset. To lose a son, I'm not saying that anything is easier, but this is simply inexpressible. To lose a first son, my mind always takes me back to the bible, it's like a curse you know. It is just a really terrible experience. Then for someone that was so strong and beautiful, and so full of life to be taken away, or to pass away, it is very unnnerving, because mortality begins to stare you in the face challenging you, alarming you, proding you. Every breath becomes the suffocating unyielding challeng that implores you to answer for the days of your life. Its like you fell your judgement staring you in the face. For a six-year old, my son was such a rich character. He had depth, intellect, charm, wit, and an ease with many different types of people. I used to almost envy him for his easy goingness. He got along with just about anybody until they violated him in some manner or another. He was msichievous. You never feel so stupid as to continually falling the pranks of a six year old. Boy was he smart, and funny. He was so funny. He would often say that he wanted to preach, and he soaked up anything about history. The bible, pbs. My son had a clinical diagnoses of ad/hd. But if you wanted to see him sit still, there was one of three things that you could to. You could take him to hear a sermon, put on a documentary aboul MLK, or put in a tyler perry show. These things were his passion. The Word, the history, and the funny. LOL! I remember being literally angry at some point thinking, if he had to go, why did it have to be just days shy of the election. I was so mad, because it seemed like noone around me understood or even cared about the historical significance of our 44th president being elected. My son would have understood. We would literally talk on end about why we love america, and how exciting it is that we would finally have a black president. I remember him telling me that Barack Obama was like MLK. Just recently, I went to see some old friends. It was so refreshing, because the first time in a long time, there were people at my side that actually cried with me and consoled me. But afterwards, I never understood why people think that they could out rationalize you in the midst of grief. If not for incessant rationalization, how else would we be able to go on? One of my friends was trying to explain to me about a child's accountability and I was just thinking to myself, does he really think that I have a problem with my son's soul? No. I just want him back. But I understand. It is not going to happen. And some how, some way, I have to accept that, even in the face of all the circumstances and pain. I am always amazed that for all the unpredictables that we fac in life, there has always benn one constant. That is death. I pray that the Lord would give you all strength right now, for his thoughts are far above our own. God bless, and selah.
http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/elijahbah/Homepage.aspx

Permalink Reply by Sue on July 21, 2009 at 8:45pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.I am crying for you.
I lost my son August 2008 due to drowning. His car went over a bridge and he was trapped as the car dropped 40 feet into the canal and landed on the roof. There are no barriers to stop a car from going over this bridge and no warning signs when the bridge is up. I received the coroner's report today and he is NOT making any recommendations to the Niagara Region(the unsigned road)nor to the St.Lawrence Seaway(the unsafe bridge). I think they should just shoot me and get this agony I live with each day over with. My son was a lifeguard and could have saved himself had he been able to get out of the car. The divers arrived at the scene within 6 mins. and DID NOT go down to rescue him, as the Seaway workers told them he had already been down 6 mins. They proceeded to do a "recovery" eventually.
His death was captured on video surveillance and I went and met with the police , dive team, and seaway authorities to view it.
My son's worst fear in life was choking.
All parties agreed if their had been something in place to stop the car, he would not have died.
I take small consolation that he had been out having fun(yes, and drinks) with his friends that night and was returning to an angry girlfriend's house. He was not speeding as the video clearly shows. He tried to stop at the edge of the bridge but the car was too heavy in the front end. The only warning on that bridge is railway type arms that give way as soon as you touch them, and by that time you are teetering on the edge.
I saw my son's last moments of life, as I saw his first sign of life when he was born. He was 24 years old, and my baby. I also have a daughter.
I hope his last thoughts were of family and friends, warm in the fact he knew how much I loved him. I told him every day.
I miss his giant hugs(6'3 and 260 lbs), his humour, and our closeness. I can't even describe the breathless pain I feel.
Thank you for listening.
Sue

Permalink Reply by tiffany wheatley on July 21, 2009 at 11:40pm

Hi Ms. Sue. I am always appreciative of your kind words of encouragement. Tonight, I wanted to take some time to let you know that. Each token of kindness that we give to each one as human beings is a blessing unto the Lord. He says it is what you do unto the least of these. How less are we than to someone that we do not know, and are still able to share kindness. I am always so overtaken with emotion every time that I visit legacy and comment, that I usually have no where-withall or energy left to comment on a reply post. I have been feeling sooooooo much stronger since going to visit my son's burial site. This is probably the first time that I have come here with any semblance of soundness, and I am as greatful for my visit here tonight as with any others. I literally have no expression for the depth of my empathy for the loss of your son. As you well know. There is no scapegoat on this matter. All the if ands that one can imagine during an accident. Even for my Bah, such tragic recklessness, all the if and ands. Yet in still, they remain departed. I almost lost myself in what I now refer to as semantics. Many people said that my son would come to me in white after passing, and for waiting for what seemed like an eternity to dream of his precious smile, he did come. Not in linens, but in a white suit he came, and for all the dreams that I have had of him thus far, (God knows they keep me.) I only had one in which he spoke. The first one, and all he said was "mommy get up." When I opened my eyes, I realized the state that my house, my child, and myself was in. It was very poor to say the least. I don't think I had showered that week, and had been out of bed not much more than. My daughter was entertaining herself with rerunnings of her favorite movie, and living off of fruit cups and yogurt. I was giving up, and did not care. I was angry, so angry. Anger, I had never known before. Anger that almost literally killed me. It was a no win situation. I could hurt the people I felt were responsible, and in the end, all possible negative outlets, I still lost. My daughter still lost. Nothing was going to bring my son back to this realm. And, the only thing that he has said to me in regards to this was a very stern mommy get up. Unspoken, I know he was upset about the condition that I was leaving my daughter in. But, I had packed my bags, I really did not care, even about her. God please forgive me. That is where I was. So I praise God that I can see this place with you today. I have praised him for everyday since coming back to my senses. It is no fairy tale. Those of us who believe, we go to a better place when we leave. Our children, well, I have discerned of the Lord, and I am not saying this came from the Holy Ghost, It is my own interpretation. But, I do believe that just as 2chr. 7 says that a spouse sanctifies one to another, I believe that the same grace is from a saved parent to a child, therefore, I believe for your son at 24, as I did for my own at 6, that he is in the presence of the Lord. Blessing and thanking you again for you minute thoughtfulness, that has been so greatly enriching, Sis. Tiffany Davida Wheatley

Permalink Reply by Heather on July 24, 2009 at 1:37pm

Twila said:

I know and I can imagine how you feel and know this our hearts will forever hurt because of the space our sons left. My son was hit by a truck walking home on 12/12/2008 and he was 18 and he was my best friend and I know how you feel. The calls and texts what are you cooking mom and I love you..He was my only son and I have 3 daughters.but he was my only son..and i sure do miss him..I know how you feel I still feel like he is going to show up and its going on 5 months but I cry all the time I just control it better..I do feel for you and Im here to listen.. I could not get out of bed I just wanted to lay there but I did find out that is good to close the door and have that time alone with me..So when I feel like that I do it so take gentle care of you and when you feel like not dealing with anyone do it your not going to hurt their feelings because I always thought that I was being mean but people understand and it is a process. I know I will never stop hurting Never because every minute of the day my son is on my mind and never do I not think of him..I miss him so but I think of how he would want me to be and that helps me to get through the day because there are times I want to be with him the pain is hard to bare but I think of what he would be saying to me. And you are right no one griefs the same but we can understand the pain as parents and the love for our children and understand one another..And time does not heal because I hurt like I lost him today..I met a wome who lost her son 6 years now and she still cries every night and day like it was yesterday and she told me that so I know for me it will never stop my pain will never go away because he is my "honeybuns"..Take gentle care of you and remember I am here to listen and I care even if we never met I do care because we share the same loss....our children..
Twila

Heather said:
I KNOW HOW U FEEL I LOST MY ONLY SON ON 2/12/09 HE WAS 21 & I'M 41 & CAN'T IMAGINE LIVING MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM...I LOST HIM IN A TRAGIC CAR ACCIDENT..HE WAS 21 & WE UNLIKE MOST KIDS & PARENTS WERE VERY CLOSE...I FEEL LIKE I NOT ONLY LOST MY ONLY SON BUT I LOST MY FRIEND... I STILL CAN NOT BELIEVE HE WILL NOT CALL ME OR POP IN MY HOME & SAY HEY MOMMA U GOT ANY FOOD...I WILL ALWAYS CHARISH THE TEXT MASSAGES I GOT FROM HIM AT NIGHT TELLING ME GOOD NIGHT I LUV U MOMMA & THIS IS AT 21...I KNOW HARD 2 BELIEVE RIGHT... I KNOW HOW BLESSED I WAS AND THIS IS WHY I'M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME...I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO AIR...LIKE I'M SINKING IN QUICK SAND & MY HEART IS SOOOOOOOOOO BROKEN INTO A MILLION PIECES I DO NOT KNOW HOW I MAKE IT THREW SOME DAYS AND THEN OUT OF BED ON OTHERS...I MISS HIM WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE ...& WILL ALWAYS & FOREVER...BUT THE BEST THING I HAVE HEARD SO FAR IS THAT THE PAIN DOES NOT GO AWAY... U JUST GET USED TO LIVING WITH IT & I KNOW THAT IS SAD TO SAY & HARD TO BELIEVE CAUSE I KNOW THE PAIN TAKES MY BREATH AWAY....BUT I GUESS IT DOES MAKE SENSE IF U THINK ABOUT IT...CAUSE I ALSO KNOW THAT MY HEART DOES NOT FEEL LIKE IT CAN BE FIXED WHERE HE HAS LEFT A HOLE WHERE HIS Z (HIS NAME WAS ZACHARI)SPOT WAS...THAT IS WHT I CALL IT...ANY WAY WE ALL GRIEVE DIFFERENT THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT STAGES OF GRIEF AND NO ONE DOES THEM THE SAME OR IS IN THE THE SAME LENGHT OF TIME & THAT IS OK...THAT IS ALL I KNOW AT THIS TIME..& JUST KEEP LOOKING UP 2 THE STARS....& MAY THEY ALL RIP...

Permalink Reply by Heather on July 24, 2009 at 1:55pm

Well it has now been 6 months and it still seems like it was yesturday..I still can't wrap my head around this..I want that 1:35 am knock on my door from th FPH telling me about the Accident to go Away..All I hear was them asking me my name & then say your Son has been in a Accident ...I said where is He..I Hear I'm So Sorr...& That was All I heard...I new...I ran 2 my room & was sick...this could not B happing 2 Me & My Only Son..Not ME!!!...I have cried enough tears to fill my own river...I feel like parts of my life Are falling apart...& I sill have No Air...I alwyas felt like I was put on this earth 2 Be a Mother & So Now What..Why Am I Here..I'm trying 2 Be strong cause my Son was So Strong Willed..he was behind me always..so I'm trying but it is Sooooooo hard...Not only have I lost My Only Son..I have Lost My Friend..My Rock..I still Hold His Sercrets...they say Grief has different stages well All I have so far is Pain, Heartach, & I can't breath I dont want to do much of Anything most days but go to the Memorial Site & Talk 2 Him..I just want One more day. One More Smile, One More Hug,One More Text, One More Momma I Luv U, I Know it is selfish...but I look up into the sky Every Night & wish upon A Star 4 a time machine... ~May they All R I P~

Heather said:

Twila said:
I know and I can imagine how you feel and know this our hearts will forever hurt because of the space our sons left. My son was hit by a truck walking home on 12/12/2008 and he was 18 and he was my best friend and I know how you feel. The calls and texts what are you cooking mom and I love you..He was my only son and I have 3 daughters.but he was my only son..and i sure do miss him..I know how you feel I still feel like he is going to show up and its going on 5 months but I cry all the time I just control it better..I do feel for you and Im here to listen.. I could not get out of bed I just wanted to lay there but I did find out that is good to close the door and have that time alone with me..So when I feel like that I do it so take gentle care of you and when you feel like not dealing with anyone do it your not going to hurt their feelings because I always thought that I was being mean but people understand and it is a process. I know I will never stop hurting Never because every minute of the day my son is on my mind and never do I not think of him..I miss him so but I think of how he would want me to be and that helps me to get through the day because there are times I want to be with him the pain is hard to bare but I think of what he would be saying to me. And you are right no one griefs the same but we can understand the pain as parents and the love for our children and understand one another..And time does not heal because I hurt like I lost him today..I met a wome who lost her son 6 years now and she still cries every night and day like it was yesterday and she told me that so I know for me it will never stop my pain will never go away because he is my "honeybuns"..Take gentle care of you and remember I am here to listen and I care even if we never met I do care because we share the same loss....our children..
Twila

Heather said:
I KNOW HOW U FEEL I LOST MY ONLY SON ON 2/12/09 HE WAS 21 & I'M 41 & CAN'T IMAGINE LIVING MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM...I LOST HIM IN A TRAGIC CAR ACCIDENT..HE WAS 21 & WE UNLIKE MOST KIDS & PARENTS WERE VERY CLOSE...I FEEL LIKE I NOT ONLY LOST MY ONLY SON BUT I LOST MY FRIEND... I STILL CAN NOT BELIEVE HE WILL NOT CALL ME OR POP IN MY HOME & SAY HEY MOMMA U GOT ANY FOOD...I WILL ALWAYS CHARISH THE TEXT MASSAGES I GOT FROM HIM AT NIGHT TELLING ME GOOD NIGHT I LUV U MOMMA & THIS IS AT 21...I KNOW HARD 2 BELIEVE RIGHT... I KNOW HOW BLESSED I WAS AND THIS IS WHY I'M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME...I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO AIR...LIKE I'M SINKING IN QUICK SAND & MY HEART IS SOOOOOOOOOO BROKEN INTO A MILLION PIECES I DO NOT KNOW HOW I MAKE IT THREW SOME DAYS AND THEN OUT OF BED ON OTHERS...I MISS HIM WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE ...& WILL ALWAYS & FOREVER...BUT THE BEST THING I HAVE HEARD SO FAR IS THAT THE PAIN DOES NOT GO AWAY... U JUST GET USED TO LIVING WITH IT & I KNOW THAT IS SAD TO SAY & HARD TO BELIEVE CAUSE I KNOW THE PAIN TAKES MY BREATH AWAY....BUT I GUESS IT DOES MAKE SENSE IF U THINK ABOUT IT...CAUSE I ALSO KNOW THAT MY HEART DOES NOT FEEL LIKE IT CAN BE FIXED WHERE HE HAS LEFT A HOLE WHERE HIS Z (HIS NAME WAS ZACHARI)SPOT WAS...THAT IS WHT I CALL IT...ANY WAY WE ALL GRIEVE DIFFERENT THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT STAGES OF GRIEF AND NO ONE DOES THEM THE SAME OR IS IN THE THE SAME LENGHT OF TIME & THAT IS OK...THAT IS ALL I KNOW AT THIS TIME..& JUST KEEP LOOKING UP 2 THE STARS....& MAY THEY ALL RIP...

Permalink Reply by Heather on July 24, 2009 at 2:23pm

PERFECT.....this is SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD...I'm at 6 months also...but still Unreal...2 hard 2 wrap my head around...This still can't B...My Only Child...My Only Son Gone...& It was Me & Him against the World since 2002...I Still need Him & His Strength...I Hate This..I just want to wake from this nightmare...but I know this can't be..I started going threw his things I got from his place...So hard 2 do..it is awfull...2 know he will never use them, wear them again...I Miss Him More than I can Explain 2 Anyone...He was My Only Child...He was My Heart & Soul..I feel Empty & Lost...Broken...I know He is In A Better Place & He is Not Alone..& He Did Not Go Alone..He passed with his Girlfriend & another friend...So they are All together & So My Heart Goes out to All Involved in this Tragic Accident ~May They ALL R I P~

kristi said:

how them words just right,i had to go throu graduation not knowning that my son was not there but to help his class mates out by just being there.they present me with a yearbook signed.i was numb i didnt feel a thing,but i will say that i was there for the kids for 2 and a half years and i will be there till they dont need me no more/my son died oct 7th,2006 i put on a front for my friends and family but they know when i am hurting.i went support group but for the summer we quit and we lost one of the ladies that was in there she was so funny and stuff,i dont know how to deal with it.but my son would of graduated may 31st,2009 i know he was there with us throu the whole thing.these kids still rememeber him went throu school together.they planted a tree for him,did a fundraiser to help us with the cost of the funeral and everything,.this community is so nice and small everyone knows everyone.so i think what you wrote is so nice and it fits what we need to hear,my friends are here for me and i am there for them to.thanks for listening kristi
Karen Runkle said:
Twila said:
Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours

and not expect to get over my son's death,

but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my son's life, not just his death,

and in the comfort of all those treasured days

and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends

who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to.

They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,

for maybe if I smile a little,

my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my son,

for they are hurting too,

and perhaps we can help each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,

for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world

I could of done to save my son from death,

I would of done it.

Just for today I will honor my son's memory

by doing something with another child

because I know that would make my own son proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship

to another bereaved parent

for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,

I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving

and the only reason I hurt is because

I had the privilege of loving my son so much

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.

I am fortunate to be who I am

and have had my son for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,

for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my son did,

my life did go on,

and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more

Permalink Reply by Twila on July 29, 2009 at 1:20pm

Heather,
Here is another poem I found and it helps me to read write poems for my son..and I do understand just how much you miss your child...it hurts so much...some times I dont know if Im coming or going and there are days Im ok..I see his daughter and it is hard to see her because he is missing out on so much with her...and it just isnt fair but who ever said life was fair...I miss my son so much heartache is hard but take gentle care and remember there are mothers out there who know just how much it hurts...and care...Twila

My Loss is Heaven's Gain
On the day my son was born,
my life was made complete.
One look into his eyes and I knew
no obstacle was too big to defeat!
When he was placed in my arms,
he touched my very soul.
His tiny fingers & charming smile...
Oh how they made me whole!
I'd sit and hold him close to me;
And speak of love in his ears.
I shared all my heart with him,
and calmed his every fear.
I couldn't tell him how much I love him,
for no words could ever express
How much I love my precious only son...
More than life itself, I must confess!
And as a mother, I always thought,
My son will have to bury me.
For his whole life is ahead of him...
and his death I'd never see.
But life doesn't always happen the way
we plan in our hopes & dreams.
Sometimes others drown our hopes,
with their evil deeds and schemes.
For on that horrible Friday morning,
my life came to a sudden halt...
I was told my son was dead,
Oh my God, who was at fault?
Yes, my son went to Heaven that day...!
And, I was left in total disbelief!
Oh how could this tragedy happen to him?
Will I ever live through this grief?
I don't know how I lived through these days
with people around me everywhere.
They wanted to just comfort & console me,
while I screamed, "this isn't fair!"
I prayed, Oh Lord, give me back my only son!
Can you hear me when I plea?
I wasn't suppose to bury him, Lord.
He was to have buried me.
Now, the days keep coming and going...
And, yes, I still feel my pain like it happen yesterday
But now, I think of him with the angels..!
and know....
My Loss is Heaven's Gain~!
Written by Kaye Des'Ormeaux

Permalink Reply by shirley zurschmeide on July 29, 2009 at 1:32pm

Today is my son's birthday, he died when he was thirty-seven while he was at work. He was electrocuted. I had Scott when I was seventeen. We grew up together kinda. He always was thoughtful,kind and a caring son. Today he would have been thirty-nine. The pain never truly goes away,it's always there just waiting to be felt again and again. I have done all there is to do to cope with my pain. Seen doctors, take medicine. cry and talk to God.

Shirley

Permalink Reply by Linda crawley on July 29, 2009 at 1:42pm

My thoughts are with you today!and everyday

shirley zurschmeide said:

Today is my son's birthday, he died when he was thirty-seven while he was at work. He was electrocuted. I had Scott when I was seventeen. We grew up together kinda. He always was thoughtful,kind and a caring son. Today he would have been thirty-nine. The pain never truly goes away,it's always there just waiting to be felt again and again. I have done all there is to do to cope with my pain. Seen doctors, take medicine. cry and talk to God.

Shirley

Permalink Reply by Susan Wright on July 29, 2009 at 3:14pm

My thoughts are with you today.
Susan Wright

Linda crawley said:

My thoughts are with you today!and everyday

shirley zurschmeide said:
Today is my son's birthday, he died when he was thirty-seven while he was at work. He was electrocuted. I had Scott when I was seventeen. We grew up together kinda. He always was thoughtful,kind and a caring son. Today he would have been thirty-nine. The pain never truly goes away,it's always there just waiting to be felt again and again. I have done all there is to do to cope with my pain. Seen doctors, take medicine. cry and talk to God.

Shirley

Permalink Reply by CSmith on July 29, 2009 at 5:44pm

Dear Shirley, I relate to every word you said. I have become so numb.
Paul was 29 when he died, killed by a drunk driver in NC on 7/21/06.
They were suppose to be here with us still.....Carla

shirley zurschmeide said:

Today is my son's birthday, he died when he was thirty-seven while he was at work. He was electrocuted. I had Scott when I was seventeen. We grew up together kinda. He always was thoughtful,kind and a caring son. Today he would have been thirty-nine. The pain never truly goes away,it's always there just waiting to be felt again and again. I have done all there is to do to cope with my pain. Seen doctors, take medicine. cry and talk to God.

Shirley

Permalink Reply by tiffany wheatley on July 30, 2009 at 2:07am

Wow! What excellent prose to sum up a mother's hurt of losing her only son. I found this very comforting. You seem to very proactiv in finding comfort in the written word. I think that is very creative and wonderfully artistic of you. It is a very healthy outlet. But, I must remind you that there is another writ that also gives comfort, and it too is filled with glorious works of prose and speech. It is the bible, and in its pages, there is a passage in 1 Thess. 4:13 That says "I would not have you brothers being ignorant in regards to those whom sleep. That ye would sorrow not as them that have no hope. Selah. Mourning is a natural process of grief sorrow is a sickness, and must be minded that we fall not too far therein lest we lose ourselves in it, and it becomes our identity and spirit. Be careful loved ones of this precious burden that you are mindful to not despair, for your own life is still before you, and the accountability therein is not diminished in the passing of a loved one. So see to it. That you focus on healing, and not on the continued hurt and suffering of unbridled sorrow. It is very unhealthy for YOU!

Twila said:

Heather,
Here is another poem I found and it helps me to read write poems for my son..and I do understand just how much you miss your child...it hurts so much...some times I dont know if Im coming or going and there are days Im ok..I see his daughter and it is hard to see her because he is missing out on so much with her...and it just isnt fair but who ever said life was fair...I miss my son so much heartache is hard but take gentle care and remember there are mothers out there who know just how much it hurts...and care...Twila

My Loss is Heaven's Gain
On the day my son was born,
my life was made complete.
One look into his eyes and I knew
no obstacle was too big to defeat!
When he was placed in my arms,
he touched my very soul.
His tiny fingers & charming smile...
Oh how they made me whole!
I'd sit and hold him close to me;
And speak of love in his ears.
I shared all my heart with him,
and calmed his every fear.
I couldn't tell him how much I love him,
for no words could ever express
How much I love my precious only son...
More than life itself, I must confess!
And as a mother, I always thought,
My son will have to bury me.
For his whole life is ahead of him...
and his death I'd never see.
But life doesn't always happen the way
we plan in our hopes & dreams.
Sometimes others drown our hopes,
with their evil deeds and schemes.
For on that horrible Friday morning,
my life came to a sudden halt...
I was told my son was dead,
Oh my God, who was at fault?
Yes, my son went to Heaven that day...!
And, I was left in total disbelief!
Oh how could this tragedy happen to him?
Will I ever live through this grief?
I don't know how I lived through these days
with people around me everywhere.
They wanted to just comfort & console me,
while I screamed, "this isn't fair!"
I prayed, Oh Lord, give me back my only son!
Can you hear me when I plea?
I wasn't suppose to bury him, Lord.
He was to have buried me.
Now, the days keep coming and going...
And, yes, I still feel my pain like it happen yesterday
But now, I think of him with the angels..!
and know....
My Loss is Heaven's Gain~!
Written by Kaye Des'Ormeaux