Share your story and connect with others who are coping with the death of a child.
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HI LESLIE,IT WAS ELAINES BIRTHDAY ON THE 12TH AND MY SONS BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 12TH.MINE IS DEC 25TH.THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES ANYWAYS.I HOPE YOUR DOING BETTER.MY MONTH LIKE SEPT 11 TILL THE DAY MY SON PASSED AWAY I HURT.THAN I WAIT FOR THE NEXT HOLIDAY BUT I AM DOING FINE RIGHT NOW THOUGH.THANKS SO MUCH KRISTI
Happy Birthday Elaine... and to your son Kristi. I will get it right soon, this has been a hard week for me as well, with Jordan's B-day on 9-11. I keep thinking I am doing better, then I blow it, and have another break-down. I really am trying to do good. I feel if I don't, that I am letting Jordan down. I don't want him to think "HE" ruined my life. I promised myself and him that I would be okay... but sometimes it just seems like I'm regressing; getting worse. I miss him so much. Everything is so different now. I caught myself, again, wanting to call him and tell him I found a neat old bottle that I knew he'd like. Twice in 15 minutes I did the exact same thing. And I have been constantly upset about being without him...How can I forget in the middle of this, and want to call him? I'm losing "it", and one of these days... I don't think I'll get "it" back. Pray for me...today I really need some extra help. God Bless ...
kristi said:HI LESLIE,IT WAS ELAINES BIRTHDAY ON THE 12TH AND MY SONS BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 12TH.MINE IS DEC 25TH.THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES ANYWAYS.I HOPE YOUR DOING BETTER.MY MONTH LIKE SEPT 11 TILL THE DAY MY SON PASSED AWAY I HURT.THAN I WAIT FOR THE NEXT HOLIDAY BUT I AM DOING FINE RIGHT NOW THOUGH.THANKS SO MUCH KRISTI
I am better today. Thank you for all your prayers...I know they helped. Tomorrow is another day..God Bless us all, as we try to make it through. Good night Jordan; Good night all........ Leslie
HI TWILA,MY SON WOULD OF TURNED 19 ON SEPT 12TH,AND I WENT TO THE CEMETARY AND MADE HIM HIS FAVORITE FOOD AND CAKE AND GAVE IT TO HIM,CAME HOME AND SAT ON THE COMPUTER AND ALL THE WHILE I WAS SITTING ON THE COMPUTER I WAS SAYING WHAT IF,WHAT IF I COULD OF DID THIS WOULD OF IT HAPPENED.AND WHAT WOULD HE OF LOOKED LIKE AT 19 IT IS HARD BECAUSE I LOST MINE AT 16 AND EVERY YEAR I GO AND STAND AT HIS GRAVE SIDE WONDERING WHAT WOULD OF HE LOOKED LIKE.I HAVE ANOTHER SON AND HE IS 13 BUT 3 YEARS DOWN THE LINE I WILL PROBLY START ASKING MYSELF IF MY OTHER SONE WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE HIM.BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR SON TOMORROW.I HAD TEARS ALL DAY FRIDAY AND ALL DAY SATURDAY.IT ISNT A EASY DAY.BUT MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I AM STRONG AND I WILL MAKE IT THROU AND I DID.EXCEPT ALL MY FAMILY LEFT ME A LONE ALL DAY THEY USUALLY DO IN CASE I WANT TO CRY OR SOMETHING.BUT TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF THANKS KRISTI
Twila said:Well tomorrow is here and it is going to be the hardest day yet to pass. It's my son birthday and I have wrote a poem for it but I will post it tomorrow. I really did not want this day to come and it is here so fast it seems. He would have been 19 years old and I remember when he turned 1 years old. Oh how I miss him so much I do. And when he turned 18 he told me he did not want to be 18 because that meant I would not be there for him anymore..and I told him I am 39 and my mother is still in my life I am not going no where. And he laughed at me it is so hard really hard and I miss him so much. I will talk him a cake and place it on his grave I never thought I would be doing that ever..my son my baby how I miss you and tomorrow is your day Birthday...my son..I love you
it is hard and it has been 9 months now he has gone and it hurts like it was yesterday and now its his birthday and he missed his daughter I thought that was hard. But tomorrow is going to be hard because that is my baby my son.
well my son love and miss you
I LOST MY SON IN OCT 7TH,2006 HE WAS ONLY 16 WHEN HE PASSED AWAY AND I DIDNT FEEL ANY PAIN AT ALL BECAUSE I WAS NUMB.AND TILL THIS DAY I LOST MY MIND SOMEWHAT,I ASKED QUESTIONS TO PEOPLE THAT I WENT TO THE DOCTORS OR SOMETHING WITH.MY FRIENDS ARE STILL CONCERNED BECAUSE I FEEL STRONG BUT I FEEL I AM A BURDEN TO THEM IF I CRY OR IF I TALK ABOUT MY SON.WHAT HAPPENED WAS MY SON WENT TO HIS FRIENDS HOUSE HIS FRIEND WAS CLEANING HIS GUN HE SAID AND HE THOUGHT HE TOOK ALL THE BULLETS OUT OF THE GUN,POINTED THE GUN AT MY SON AND PULLED THE TRIGGER,THE KID WAS ONLY 15,HE GOT PROBATION TILL HE IS 19.2,987RESTITUTION AND 200 OF COMMUNITY SERVICE,EVERY ONE ASK IF IT WAS A ACCIDENT AND I ALWAYS SAY I AM THE MOM AND I DONT THINK SO BUT YOU ALL BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT TO.SO MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND I AM HERE TO TALK TO BECAUSE I NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO.HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOUR SON?BUT I WENT TO SUPPORT GROUP AND THEY SAY TALK ABOUT THE DEATH OF YOUR FAMILY THAT HAVE BEEN GONE AND IT WILL HELP EASE THE PAIN AND I HAVE DONE THAT.AND IT HELPS.THANKS AND I HOPE WE TALK SOMEDAY.THANKS FOR LISTENING
I am really grateful for all the postings of encouragement. I have been put on an antidepressant because I can't get over the feeling I want to be with Josh. I actually got to the point of where I tried to drown myself to see what he felt when he was drowning. Obviously, it was a half-hearted attempt! My psych nurse asked me why I feel like I have to "punish" myself?? I couldn't answer! I had an amazing relationship with Josh, we were extremely close and it was very special. We shared so much. I really really miss him.