Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by kat on October 12, 2009 at 11:37pm

there is a website called GROWW.com- it is a 24/7 support site chat room for anyone who has lost someome, and there is always somebody there to talk to- the people there are "the nicest people you never wanted to meet" - this site is what got me thru the first 6 months after my son died, and now it's 4 yrs later and i still go there when i'm having a rough day.
Cynthia said:

Tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of the passing of our 17 year old daughter. I thought by now the pain and sadness would ease more than it has. Although I am fortunate to have a large family, who are their to listen and help, I have always found it difficult to express my grief to them (I don't want to upset them). I have taken part in every support group available and have even facilitated a grief support group for parents through my church. The best I can do is pray for inner peace.

Permalink Reply by Leslie L. Fiorda on October 13, 2009 at 12:30am

To All ... and Kat;
I just checked this site out; called GROWW.com... I will never go back. Maybe I just went at the wrong time...but I will never go back. Sorry.
Leslie

kat said:

there is a website called GROWW.com- it is a 24/7 support site chat room for anyone who has lost someome, and there is always somebody there to talk to- the people there are "the nicest people you never wanted to meet" - this site is what got me thru the first 6 months after my son died, and now it's 4 yrs later and i still go there when i'm having a rough day.
Cynthia said:

Tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of the passing of our 17 year old daughter. I thought by now the pain and sadness would ease more than it has. Although I am fortunate to have a large family, who are their to listen and help, I have always found it difficult to express my grief to them (I don't want to upset them). I have taken part in every support group available and have even facilitated a grief support group for parents through my church. The best I can do is pray for inner peace.

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on October 13, 2009 at 11:17am

Hi Cynthia,this is Elaine Phillips and you are right. Go to God and he will give you the peace that you looking for. You know Cynthia it has been (3)long years for me with my Kris. I still cry and have my moments,but I do have that inner peace. I know Kris is fine and alright,but it still hurts just knowing that he is not here with me physically. I miss him so much,but just go to God and he will give you that peace you are looking for. A lot of people look at me crying sometimes,but it is tears of joy sometimes to. Just remembering all the good times that we shared together. I am still waiting for my bear hug and kiss from Kris even if it is just in a dream. I miss him so much,there is nothing that I would not do if I had a choice to get Kris back. But I know this is impossible,only wishing this could happen. But Cynthia go to God and ask him to hold your hand,for I know he will not let go. Ask God for that spiritual lead,guidiance and comfort to go from day to day and he will lead,guide and comfort you. Write when ever,we are here for you on this site. If I don't answer,I know someone else will Elaine.

Leslie L. Fiorda said:

To All ... and Kat;
I just checked this site out; called GROWW.com... I will never go back. Maybe I just went at the wrong time...but I will never go back. Sorry.
Leslie

kat said:

there is a website called GROWW.com- it is a 24/7 support site chat room for anyone who has lost someome, and there is always somebody there to talk to- the people there are "the nicest people you never wanted to meet" - this site is what got me thru the first 6 months after my son died, and now it's 4 yrs later and i still go there when i'm having a rough day.
Cynthia said:

Tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of the passing of our 17 year old daughter. I thought by now the pain and sadness would ease more than it has. Although I am fortunate to have a large family, who are their to listen and help, I have always found it difficult to express my grief to them (I don't want to upset them). I have taken part in every support group available and have even facilitated a grief support group for parents through my church. The best I can do is pray for inner peace.

Permalink Reply by tiffany wheatley on October 19, 2009 at 11:07pm

Hi Marina. I was very happy to see that my insert offered you some condolence through such a terrible grief. I also see the contrast in the different situations that people have gone through, and I too sometimes feel that perhaps my son got an easier out than many of the families have gone through. Then I am reminded of one of the mostr powerful things that was said to me through this journey of mourning. I have an older cousin whose husband shot himself in broad daylight in the backyard of their home because of money issues. She said to me in those very early days of losing my son, as she was speaking on the loss of her husband how she realized that she did not and could not keep torturing herself reliving and retelling the "SAGA" of her husbands passing. She said that everytime she would go into his "suicide" with someone, that it was like rewinding a tape to the very first moment of losing him, and she would start having all those same initial reactions like shock, fear, bewilderment. etc. Soon she realized that the semantics of him passing were just that. Every person has a different story. A different "SAGA". But there are just some things that will hapen to us in life that is like a tattoo. We don't even have to go get al inked up because it is there permenantly engraved into our skin, our hearts, our minds, our soul. Most women from the time they laid their eyes on their child, they were overtaken with the joy of that baby, and at that moment we kinda do a solemn vow. One that many of us secretly hold more dear than any vow we could ever make to a spouse or even at times our selves. We pledge our lives, our hearts, our resources to the fruition of the continuance of that life that we brought forth. How then can something that we have held so precious be taken away so swiftly, callously, disconcertedly. For as long as I live, I will never forget how unseasonably warm and beautiful it was outside in the midst of the overshadowing darkness of my son's passing. The earth gave nary a blink. This is the cycle of life. We do ourselves no great favour by accepting that these passings are our spaces and times to fall into the line of this matter. King Solomon attests to the gruesome truth of life in ecclesiastes 9:3This is an evil among all things that are done under the sun, that there is one event unto all: yea, also the heart of the sons of men is full of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live, and after that they go to the dead. Selah. Surely, death is evil. But, to know the Lord and to recieve Him as your Saviour. Wholly and accepting of his will, therein you will find the peace that surpasses the sting of death. And your mourning will not be with such great suffering. It is okay to be affected deeply by the loss of a child, what is not okay is to be lost in your grief that your life becomes nullified, and people only know you for your loss. "Oh that's the lady whose son died such and such a way." No, I declare. You don not want to go through the rest of your life with such an immense heaviness upon your heart. We will never forget. Not ever. But, we can accept and find peace. There is no greater peace than the came after a storm. Let the storm pass beloved one of the same precious rite. Let the storm pass. It has been a year for my daughter and I, and not a day passes when we do not talk of our beloved Elijah. But, today we talk with joy and laughter, and the peace that we will see him again, when we are joined to him in heaven. They cannot come back to you, but you will go them them if you faint not. Peace and blessing from The Most High God of the Holy Trinity.
http://www.memorialwebsites.legacy.com/elijahbah/homepage.aspx

Permalink Reply by carol on October 26, 2009 at 8:12am

my name is carol. my son ws 17 and brutally murdered. my heart is empty and broken. my love goes out to all of you who have lost a child. just needed to talk

Permalink Reply by Gerry Fiden on October 26, 2009 at 8:26am

carol said:

my name is carol. my son ws 17 and brutally murdered. my heart is empty and broken. my love goes out to all of you who have lost a child. just needed to talk

Carol My heart goes out to you. You will be in my prayers. If you need to talk there are wonderful people on here who will listen. I know how devastated you are feeling and the loss that you feel. All of us here know your pain and are here for you.
Gerry

Permalink Reply by rhonda on October 27, 2009 at 7:16pm

i lost my oldest son in may 21,2009 june 27 he would have been 25, he left 2 beautiful children whom he loved very much behind ages 2&5, they watched as cpr was being done even watched the ambulance leave with now every time we leave they are afraid that we are not coming back. my son was the type of person who would make you smile even when you dont wont to . how do you go on when all you wont to do is be with him ? how do you know he is ok and not afraid? dose he know how much he is missed? i honestly do not wont to be here for the holidays case i dont know if i can get through it, How do you go on living when all you wont to do is DIE to.....

Permalink Reply by Lee Kelly on October 30, 2009 at 2:36pm

In 1999 my only daughter was diagnosed with Acute Mylogenous Leukemia. This is a terrible disease. She underwent 4 highdose chemotherapies and an autologous stem cell transplant over 9 1/2 months. The pain she went through is indecribable. She lost her hair twice, her skin peeled off as if from a sunburn, her finger and toe nails fell off as well as the bottoms of here feet. She went into remission in Sept. 2000. She suffered numerous afflictions in the years after that finally dieing in her sleep in January, 2007 from heart trouble. The doctors said it was probably the result of all the chemicals that were pumped into her as AML treatment. Doctors all down the line after her discharge from the Naval Hospital in San Diego, dropped the ball with misdiagnosis', wrong treatments, over medications and simple stupidity. She had 18 hospitalizations in 2 years and 4 surgeries. I prayed that I could undergo the pain she indured instead of her. To this day, I think that if I had been a better mother, she would not have suffered so much. It will be 3 years in January since she was buried and I still cry every day. I am now seeing a psychologist and attending a support group but I don't know if it is helping any. I just found this support site and maybe it will help to read about others loses. I don't know.
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Permalink Reply by Marina Angel on October 30, 2009 at 6:42pm

Hi Rhonda i am very sorry for ur son leaving u so suddenly we all know how u feel mijo left me 5-3-08 @ age 21 and i cried constantly for over a year i know as u do too that tears stream some times i would go to the cemetary and scream i got to the point that i did not want to ruin my health 'cause i have 5 grandchildren altho none is from mijo- i think if i had a grandchild from him it would not be as bad as it is altho it is not as bad now as it was in the first year prayer is what got me thru-holding on to God in the worst storm of my life-the article by therese Rando on the main page is very good also i took pics over the year visit my page and view all comments-I will pray for u that u will be able to count ur blessings and try to be strong thru this test of faith lov Marina

Permalink Reply by Brad Peters on October 30, 2009 at 10:03pm

Hi carol.Omg soooo sorry 2 have just read that.My heart is in prayer 4 u.I 2 know how it feels, i lost my little girl in a tragic car accident 3 29 2009.My son also was in the car but he made it, barley , he was the last child 2 leave the hospital.7 people in that car were involved 3 died.I have so much pain its unbearable.Please if u ever wana talk let me know and i would like 2 talk 2 u.Thank u.My daughters name is Cara Peters...Carebear im her father Brad Peters.She was 12 years old when our Lord took her.

Permalink Reply by Sue on October 31, 2009 at 7:30pm

Dear all,
My only son died Aug 2008 after he drowned after his car went over a bridge and crashed upside down and he was trapped. I will never get over this or understand it. He was the happiest person in the world. I have never loved anyone as I loved him. I also am getting pysh. help but I don't know if it is working either. It is the constant feeling of doom that overtakes me and regret that he died so cold and alone. I hate getting up in the morning and having to face it all over again. IT IS ALWAYS THERE. I have spurts of mania when I just can't sit down, but sometimes all I do is sit and stare. I have a daughter but she is far away and has alot of her own grief to deal with.At least I talk to her every day.
Carol, Brad, and all, I hope someday our hearts will heal, even just a tiny bit.
Thanks, Sue...Proud Mom of Josh

Permalink Reply by Judy on October 31, 2009 at 8:55pm

My son will be remembered in church tomorrow for All Saints Day. I hope I can get through it without breaking down which I seem to do often there. My heart goes out to all the new folks who have posted on the site recently, and I'm glad you found the site because we're all on a journey we don't want to be on, and it helps to have people to relate to.
Judy

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