Grief support for all coping with the loss of a child
Share your story and connect with others who are coping with the death of a child.
Related articles:
• Youth Suicide: How You Can Help the Survivors
• What Helps When We’re Experiencing the Unthinkable
• Loss of Our Assumptive World
• Time Does Not Heal All Wounds
• After a Tragedy: What Kids Can Do
Image Source: StockXchng/lifan
Tags:
I lost my beautiful 11 year old daughter, Mackenzie in a tragic car accident in August 2009. We were returning home from a last minute family vacation before the kids returned to school. My husband was driving, and we also had our 7 year old son, Liam, and Mackenzie's best friend with us. It was raining and during a lane switch, my husband lost control of our van. We hit the guard rail and another car struck us...we were spinning. When we finally stopped I turned to check on the children to make sure they were ok. The best friend asked, "Where's Mackenzie?" I went into a panic! Check the floor! My husband seen her...she had been ejected from the back passenger window and was laying in the middle of the highway. We ran as fast as we could to get to her. Her eyes were closed. People stopped to help...I could do nothing but cry and hope for the best. Someone said she still had a pulse, but it was weak...where as the ambulance???? We covered her with a blanket, to try and keep her warm & dry...it was too late. My baby dies on the road that day and a huge part of me died also.
It has been almost 9 months. Although we seem to live a "normal" life, we are going through hell. Family and friends have been so supportive, yet at each passing day, their lives go on...and I am stuck kneeling at my little girls broken body in the middle of the road, helpless. Everytime I drive, images of that dreadful day come rushing back. Her best friend continues to come over to our home, but sometimes it just hurts too much to see her...
Mackenzie was such a sweet girl. No matter where we went, she would make a friend...boy, girl, older, younger...She was the "neighborhood activity director" getting all the other children to play games, go swimming, jump on the trampoline...She played softball and stunned everyone with her determination to bat as a lefty, rather than her normal right. She could hula hoop non stop, with multiple hoops...she loved cucumbers and strawberries...she loved kayaking and jetskiing...she loved rollercoasters, and rarely would turn down a chance to go for one last ride. She was full of life!
Why did this happen? Why couldn't it have been me? She had an entire lifetime of experiences to enjoy.
We will never see her graaduate from highschool or college. Never be able to get her ready for a prom or her wedding day. Never be able to be nervous that she has found her first boyfriend.
It pains me to know that parents all over the world are going through the same pain as I go through. Children should not go before their parents, especially at such a young age.
I mourn the loss of my daughter everyday, yet must find the strength for my son. It has been difficult, he doesn't have a real grasp on what has happened. We miss her more and more each day. And though my faith was never very strong, and now has been tested, I pray she looks down on us and feels the love we feel for her.
I miss you & love you Mackenzie Shay!!!!
I lost my beautiful 11 year old daughter, Mackenzie in a tragic car accident in August 2009. We were returning home from a last minute family vacation before the kids returned to school. My husband was driving, and we also had our 7 year old son, Liam, and Mackenzie's best friend with us. It was raining and during a lane switch, my husband lost control of our van. We hit the guard rail and another car struck us...we were spinning. When we finally stopped I turned to check on the children to make sure they were ok. The best friend asked, "Where's Mackenzie?" I went into a panic! Check the floor! My husband seen her...she had been ejected from the back passenger window and was laying in the middle of the highway. We ran as fast as we could to get to her. Her eyes were closed. People stopped to help...I could do nothing but cry and hope for the best. Someone said she still had a pulse, but it was weak...where as the ambulance???? We covered her with a blanket, to try and keep her warm & dry...it was too late. My baby dies on the road that day and a huge part of me died also.
It has been almost 9 months. Although we seem to live a "normal" life, we are going through hell. Family and friends have been so supportive, yet at each passing day, their lives go on...and I am stuck kneeling at my little girls broken body in the middle of the road, helpless. Everytime I drive, images of that dreadful day come rushing back. Her best friend continues to come over to our home, but sometimes it just hurts too much to see her...
Mackenzie was such a sweet girl. No matter where we went, she would make a friend...boy, girl, older, younger...She was the "neighborhood activity director" getting all the other children to play games, go swimming, jump on the trampoline...She played softball and stunned everyone with her determination to bat as a lefty, rather than her normal right. She could hula hoop non stop, with multiple hoops...she loved cucumbers and strawberries...she loved kayaking and jetskiing...she loved rollercoasters, and rarely would turn down a chance to go for one last ride. She was full of life!
Why did this happen? Why couldn't it have been me? She had an entire lifetime of experiences to enjoy.
We will never see her graaduate from highschool or college. Never be able to get her ready for a prom or her wedding day. Never be able to be nervous that she has found her first boyfriend.
It pains me to know that parents all over the world are going through the same pain as I go through. Children should not go before their parents, especially at such a young age.
I mourn the loss of my daughter everyday, yet must find the strength for my son. It has been difficult, he doesn't have a real grasp on what has happened. We miss her more and more each day. And though my faith was never very strong, and now has been tested, I pray she looks down on us and feels the love we feel for her.
I miss you & love you Mackenzie Shay!!!!
Jennifer,
Your letter has just posted and my heart breaks for you. If you need a good grief group contact me. When I have off I do attend and have found some comfort there. We are all mothers,a few dads who have lost their children. Like you,my loss is fresh and very painful. My son was killed in Sept. 2009 by a drunk driver.
God be with you,
Gerry
Jennifer said:I lost my beautiful 11 year old daughter, Mackenzie in a tragic car accident in August 2009. We were returning home from a last minute family vacation before the kids returned to school. My husband was driving, and we also had our 7 year old son, Liam, and Mackenzie's best friend with us. It was raining and during a lane switch, my husband lost control of our van. We hit the guard rail and another car struck us...we were spinning. When we finally stopped I turned to check on the children to make sure they were ok. The best friend asked, "Where's Mackenzie?" I went into a panic! Check the floor! My husband seen her...she had been ejected from the back passenger window and was laying in the middle of the highway. We ran as fast as we could to get to her. Her eyes were closed. People stopped to help...I could do nothing but cry and hope for the best. Someone said she still had a pulse, but it was weak...where as the ambulance???? We covered her with a blanket, to try and keep her warm & dry...it was too late. My baby dies on the road that day and a huge part of me died also.
It has been almost 9 months. Although we seem to live a "normal" life, we are going through hell. Family and friends have been so supportive, yet at each passing day, their lives go on...and I am stuck kneeling at my little girls broken body in the middle of the road, helpless. Everytime I drive, images of that dreadful day come rushing back. Her best friend continues to come over to our home, but sometimes it just hurts too much to see her...
Mackenzie was such a sweet girl. No matter where we went, she would make a friend...boy, girl, older, younger...She was the "neighborhood activity director" getting all the other children to play games, go swimming, jump on the trampoline...She played softball and stunned everyone with her determination to bat as a lefty, rather than her normal right. She could hula hoop non stop, with multiple hoops...she loved cucumbers and strawberries...she loved kayaking and jetskiing...she loved rollercoasters, and rarely would turn down a chance to go for one last ride. She was full of life!
Why did this happen? Why couldn't it have been me? She had an entire lifetime of experiences to enjoy.
We will never see her graaduate from highschool or college. Never be able to get her ready for a prom or her wedding day. Never be able to be nervous that she has found her first boyfriend.
It pains me to know that parents all over the world are going through the same pain as I go through. Children should not go before their parents, especially at such a young age.
I mourn the loss of my daughter everyday, yet must find the strength for my son. It has been difficult, he doesn't have a real grasp on what has happened. We miss her more and more each day. And though my faith was never very strong, and now has been tested, I pray she looks down on us and feels the love we feel for her.
I miss you & love you Mackenzie Shay!!!!
Gerry dear, just to say hi!
Love xx
Gerry Fiden said:Jennifer,
Your letter has just posted and my heart breaks for you. If you need a good grief group contact me. When I have off I do attend and have found some comfort there. We are all mothers,a few dads who have lost their children. Like you,my loss is fresh and very painful. My son was killed in Sept. 2009 by a drunk driver.
God be with you,
Gerry
Jennifer said:I lost my beautiful 11 year old daughter, Mackenzie in a tragic car accident in August 2009. We were returning home from a last minute family vacation before the kids returned to school. My husband was driving, and we also had our 7 year old son, Liam, and Mackenzie's best friend with us. It was raining and during a lane switch, my husband lost control of our van. We hit the guard rail and another car struck us...we were spinning. When we finally stopped I turned to check on the children to make sure they were ok. The best friend asked, "Where's Mackenzie?" I went into a panic! Check the floor! My husband seen her...she had been ejected from the back passenger window and was laying in the middle of the highway. We ran as fast as we could to get to her. Her eyes were closed. People stopped to help...I could do nothing but cry and hope for the best. Someone said she still had a pulse, but it was weak...where as the ambulance???? We covered her with a blanket, to try and keep her warm & dry...it was too late. My baby dies on the road that day and a huge part of me died also.
It has been almost 9 months. Although we seem to live a "normal" life, we are going through hell. Family and friends have been so supportive, yet at each passing day, their lives go on...and I am stuck kneeling at my little girls broken body in the middle of the road, helpless. Everytime I drive, images of that dreadful day come rushing back. Her best friend continues to come over to our home, but sometimes it just hurts too much to see her...
Mackenzie was such a sweet girl. No matter where we went, she would make a friend...boy, girl, older, younger...She was the "neighborhood activity director" getting all the other children to play games, go swimming, jump on the trampoline...She played softball and stunned everyone with her determination to bat as a lefty, rather than her normal right. She could hula hoop non stop, with multiple hoops...she loved cucumbers and strawberries...she loved kayaking and jetskiing...she loved rollercoasters, and rarely would turn down a chance to go for one last ride. She was full of life!
Why did this happen? Why couldn't it have been me? She had an entire lifetime of experiences to enjoy.
We will never see her graaduate from highschool or college. Never be able to get her ready for a prom or her wedding day. Never be able to be nervous that she has found her first boyfriend.
It pains me to know that parents all over the world are going through the same pain as I go through. Children should not go before their parents, especially at such a young age.
I mourn the loss of my daughter everyday, yet must find the strength for my son. It has been difficult, he doesn't have a real grasp on what has happened. We miss her more and more each day. And though my faith was never very strong, and now has been tested, I pray she looks down on us and feels the love we feel for her.
I miss you & love you Mackenzie Shay!!!!
Dear Betty...
The first is the worst...mine was just a few days after my son passed. My son Jordan was 23 years old, 6'4" tall, green eyes, and a great big smile. He passed away on April 29th, 2007....so Mothers day and my birthday (May 12th) all with-in days of his furneral. He and his girlfriend were killed in a horrible roll over accident. My son Miloh gave me a card on that Mothers Day which read:
"Dear Mom you've done an excellent job raising us concidering all the heartbreaks, the disapointments , and the set backs.....(on the inside it read); But enough about my brother". And he signed his and Jordan's name.
He was watching me the whole time, cause he didn't know how I was going to take it. We used to laugh alot before...but I started laughing and I hugged him. And I started crying at the same time. I thought it was the greatest card I ever recieved. It was true. The heartbreaks, the disapointments ...they are set backs, but we'll get through. We will never get "over" it; but we will get through it. And Betty..."any" way you grieve, is the right way to grieve. I had people try to tell ME how, when they'd never lost a child. But we're here, and we all understand.
I was still numb then, still felt like I was in someone else's dream or night-mare. This is the hardest thing we will ever do in life. And though we may not have the hugs we need so much, we have each other, here on this site. I will be praying for you and greiveing with you. God Bless You.....Leslie
Write anytime....please
Betty said:Today was the first Mother's Day I have had to endure since I lost my son, David. He was my first child. I have cried all day and wanted to tell people that said Happy Mother's Day to me to please shut up. There was nothing happy about it. I love my daughter with all my heart and don't want to ever face with her what I have endured losing my son. My life as human would be over if something happened to her too. My family has called me all day telling me they are thinking about me and I can hear it in their voices that they are relieved it's not their child who is gone. I'm glad it's not their babies too. I just want my son back and that will never happen.
hi rose,my heart goes out to you and your family,me i lost my son on oct 7th,2006 to his friend that shot him,he was only 16 and my husband deals with it a different way,me i couldnt cope any more i went and lost my mind for like a month after he pasted.i went to a grief support group and that really helped,this might help you light a candle for 5 minutes,and write down in a journal your good thoughts about your nephew,or talk to his picuture they say to do that and another thing is they say to do and i do this because my friends and family help me out is to talk about him like he is still here.your friends will listen and your family should to.and they tell you not to hide them in the closet.so my friends and family help really good,i think i would of never made it in this world after he passed but since i did all this it has helped and my friend that i have been really close to for 11 years says to people when they ask how i am doing is she has been strong,i dont show it at my job because i had this lady loose her husband to a motorcycle accident and she cried at work and everything what i did i said i am not going to be like her and i went into see the residents 2 or 3 times before i went back to work so that we all could just be our selves.and the first day was hard but after that i was ok.it was like i was never gone from work they treated me the same.my co-workers had to come tell me it was time to come back to work after 2 weeks,and i said yes it is.well my son would of been 18 this year on sept 12th,he would of been a senior in high school and this year is really going to be hard as his friends graduate without him.i live like 3 and half hours from my parents and i feel that they didnt know what to say or do for me but just being by me was the best thing.and for you to go see your son is the best thing for you,my mom and dad have been wanting me to come down there for a couple of days and i am sad that i cant i used all my sick and vaction time up so have none.but they come to see us 2 times a year.i have adopted a highway in 2007 and i have had my family come up the weekend that he passed away so i dont have to be alone.they have been really good about that.but for your sister just let her know that your there for her and your just a phone call away if she needs you,is she married?if she isnt married maybe if she has money that you could ask her to go on the trip with you,i bet your son would like that.well have a nice trip and i hope you keep in touch.thanks for listening to.kristi
kristi said:hi rose,my heart goes out to you and your family,me i lost my son on oct 7th,2006 to his friend that shot him,he was only 16 and my husband deals with it a different way,me i couldnt cope any more i went and lost my mind for like a month after he pasted.i went to a grief support group and that really helped,this might help you light a candle for 5 minutes,and write down in a journal your good thoughts about your nephew,or talk to his picuture they say to do that and another thing is they say to do and i do this because my friends and family help me out is to talk about him like he is still here.your friends will listen and your family should to.and they tell you not to hide them in the closet.so my friends and family help really good,i think i would of never made it in this world after he passed but since i did all this it has helped and my friend that i have been really close to for 11 years says to people when they ask how i am doing is she has been strong,i dont show it at my job because i had this lady loose her husband to a motorcycle accident and she cried at work and everything what i did i said i am not going to be like her and i went into see the residents 2 or 3 times before i went back to work so that we all could just be our selves.and the first day was hard but after that i was ok.it was like i was never gone from work they treated me the same.my co-workers had to come tell me it was time to come back to work after 2 weeks,and i said yes it is.well my son would of been 18 this year on sept 12th,he would of been a senior in high school and this year is really going to be hard as his friends graduate without him.i live like 3 and half hours from my parents and i feel that they didnt know what to say or do for me but just being by me was the best thing.and for you to go see your son is the best thing for you,my mom and dad have been wanting me to come down there for a couple of days and i am sad that i cant i used all my sick and vaction time up so have none.but they come to see us 2 times a year.i have adopted a highway in 2007 and i have had my family come up the weekend that he passed away so i dont have to be alone.they have been really good about that.but for your sister just let her know that your there for her and your just a phone call away if she needs you,is she married?if she isnt married maybe if she has money that you could ask her to go on the trip with you,i bet your son would like that.well have a nice trip and i hope you keep in touch.thanks for listening to.kristi
I lost my beautiful 11 year old daughter, Mackenzie in a tragic car accident in August 2009. We were returning home from a last minute family vacation before the kids returned to school. My husband was driving, and we also had our 7 year old son, Liam, and Mackenzie's best friend with us. It was raining and during a lane switch, my husband lost control of our van. We hit the guard rail and another car struck us...we were spinning. When we finally stopped I turned to check on the children to make sure they were ok. The best friend asked, "Where's Mackenzie?" I went into a panic! Check the floor! My husband seen her...she had been ejected from the back passenger window and was laying in the middle of the highway. We ran as fast as we could to get to her. Her eyes were closed. People stopped to help...I could do nothing but cry and hope for the best. Someone said she still had a pulse, but it was weak...where as the ambulance???? We covered her with a blanket, to try and keep her warm & dry...it was too late. My baby dies on the road that day and a huge part of me died also.
It has been almost 9 months. Although we seem to live a "normal" life, we are going through hell. Family and friends have been so supportive, yet at each passing day, their lives go on...and I am stuck kneeling at my little girls broken body in the middle of the road, helpless. Everytime I drive, images of that dreadful day come rushing back. Her best friend continues to come over to our home, but sometimes it just hurts too much to see her...
Mackenzie was such a sweet girl. No matter where we went, she would make a friend...boy, girl, older, younger...She was the "neighborhood activity director" getting all the other children to play games, go swimming, jump on the trampoline...She played softball and stunned everyone with her determination to bat as a lefty, rather than her normal right. She could hula hoop non stop, with multiple hoops...she loved cucumbers and strawberries...she loved kayaking and jetskiing...she loved rollercoasters, and rarely would turn down a chance to go for one last ride. She was full of life!
Why did this happen? Why couldn't it have been me? She had an entire lifetime of experiences to enjoy.
We will never see her graaduate from highschool or college. Never be able to get her ready for a prom or her wedding day. Never be able to be nervous that she has found her first boyfriend.
It pains me to know that parents all over the world are going through the same pain as I go through. Children should not go before their parents, especially at such a young age.
I mourn the loss of my daughter everyday, yet must find the strength for my son. It has been difficult, he doesn't have a real grasp on what has happened. We miss her more and more each day. And though my faith was never very strong, and now has been tested, I pray she looks down on us and feels the love we feel for her.
I miss you & love you Mackenzie Shay!!!!
Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.
© 2023 Created by Legacy.com.
Powered by