I think i'm destroyed. Plain and simple. I'm like the walking dead. I have no desire anymore. I didn't want kids, for fear of bringing them into such a horrible place. He was my only reason to live. I was going to help him kick this. I have nothing. My future along with his is gone.
I won't take my own life, so as not to hurt anyone else. But i am a walking, breathing surface only dead person. How horrible.
Thanks Jean I must admit, i do have good and bad days. Its just that during the bad ones, you can easily forget that you had good ones. There are times where i'm ok for a full day, especially when thinking of all our cherished memories. I guess the process is taking place now as we speak. I just miss him dearly. What i'd give for one more round of golf with him.
I belive that u should always cherish the times u have with eachother weather they be good or bad... we lost my husbands 18 year old brother 2.5 years ago and unlike most people we never got to say goodby.....their selfish mother refused to let her passed son's ONLY BROTHER and ONLY SISTER attend his funural. Because she had done things that made her own kids not want to be around her or have a life with her, she in return hurt them even more, not letting them attend their baby brothers passing,who we were alll so verry close with. She stoped us by havin cops guard the funural to keep us out! The problem was always with her, a selfish women that has no heart! My husband loved his brother deeply and we know that his brother is in a better place and out of his mothers deadly grip, that ended up puttin him where he is now, we know he never would have never approved what his mother did, and she now has to live with the fact that she made a desion that day to not only say goodby to one son but, all of her children, and grandchildren, for that women will never be able to take what she did back, she will never be able to give my husband or his sister the chance to say goodby to their brother, and we hope she dies a lonley life and thinks every day how her actions not only killed one son but her whole family as well! Our baby brother knows we stood outside and morned for him in our own way, and we know that he is livin with us where he wanted to be along and now as our angel. We will always miss him and We will never forget, every day is a struggle, but we get through and continue to stay strong!