Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Andria on September 15, 2009 at 5:37pm

your welcome
your in my prayers

Permalink Reply by lil kathy on September 18, 2009 at 8:44pm

my mother passed away about a year ago...august 16 2008 from a brain tumor that was cancerous. it came very sudden and no one understands how because it does'nt run in the family. Only 10 months after we found out that she had the tumor, it just kept growin and the doctors couldnt do anything about it. she was a very strong person, you couldnt even tell she was sick until the last week. i just dont understand why it happened. she was only 49 years old and the closest person in the world to me. everyday after we found out she had the tumor i prayed every night hoping for a miracle. it seemed like it was starting to get better, then it just went downhill. I am a very religious person and i go to church and i thank god that she is out of pain but i just dont understand why this happened. it has been very difficult for my father brother sister and I and i just don't know what to say tro them as well as the other way around. if anyone has had this happen to them or something similar i would really like to get comfort. thank you

Permalink Reply by Michele on September 20, 2009 at 5:57am

I lost my boyfriend of 8 1/2 years on August 19, 2009. My boys and I were a package deal and he knew this all up front, told me I would lose him about 6 years ago as payment for a wrong I had committed against someone years before I even met him. He backed out of his parking space, peeled out in the gravel drive, sped down the driveway and I shook my head and closed the door. Then, 2 seconds after that door closed, our lives were never to be the same. His tire got caught up in a rut dug by rainwater over several months time, his work van flipped, somewhere in the middle he was partially ejected out the drivers side window and fatally injured. I don't know anything anymore it seems. If it wasn't for my 2 boys and my mother, i would have slit my wrists that night. I still don't want to deal with it, a month and one day later. He was our everything, and in a fit of rage, he tears down a driveway and some kind of "God" remembered he had this time reserved for Tim's homecoming?!? Whatever. Then I don't want to follow a "God" that works this way. So lost, so sad, sometimes mad, wish i could just be numb.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl on September 20, 2009 at 9:06am

Michele, Im sorry to hear of your lost. It seems so unfair that death has the power to take our loved ones from us. We do not know how to react. The pain is so intense that there is nothing anyone can say or do to bring relief. That pain is not necessarily erased by being told that our loved ones are in heaven.
The Bible, however makes it clear that God does not take our dead loved ones to be with him in heaven. Jesus confirmed this truth while on earth, after his friend Lazarus died. Jesus likened death to sleep. If Lazarus had gone to heaven to be with Almight God, Jesus bringing him back to earth eventually to die again would have been no kindness. John 11:11-14,34,38-44 says that Jesus said with a loud voice "Lazarus come on out", Jesus knew that Lazarus had never left the earth. He had been lying lifeless in a tomb.
This incident recorded in the Bible helps us to understand that death is not a means that God uses to transfer humans from earth to heaven. We can thus be drawn to God knowing that he has not caused our sadness. We can also trust that he fully grasp the sorrow and damage that the enemy death causes us. The Bible truth about the condition of the dead proves that the dead are lifeless in the grave according to Ecclesiastes 9:5,10. The memory of our loved ones need not be stained with revulsion toward God.
God himself has promised according to John 5:28,29 " Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tomb will hear his voice and come out." Where will this resurrection take place? According to Psalms 37:29 " The righteous will possess the earth, and they will reside forever upon it." Think of what that means, families and friends torn apart by death will again meet here on earth. As you think of enjoying good times with those companionships you once treasured, it is reasonable for your heart to swell with happiness. All these promises are in the Bible, and come from God, so we know that theses things will happen, because according to Titus 1:2 "God can not Lie."
I hope these scriptures bring you some hope in your time of grief.

Permalink Reply by Michele on September 20, 2009 at 11:19pm

thank you Cheryl, i plan to do some reading in my Bible. I have only recently began my journey back to the Lord and have been astray since i was a child. I never understood religion then, i am willing to try again though because nothing else has worked and that is the one path i haven't really tried. it seems most who have the Lord in their lives just have better lives. i know they still have problems, but to be able to have faith like that is something i desire to feel. still feeling lost and a little scared now to think that with his death he is only "sleeping" and waiting for the call of the Lord. This may sound stupid but we had him cremated, since that was his wish, will he still be able to rise up when called with no earthly body? Please don't laugh, i am serious and asking because i don't know.

Cheryl said:

Michele, Im sorry to hear of your lost. It seems so unfair that death has the power to take our loved ones from us. We do not know how to react. The pain is so intense that there is nothing anyone can say or do to bring relief. That pain is not necessarily erased by being told that our loved ones are in heaven.
The Bible, however makes it clear that God does not take our dead loved ones to be with him in heaven. Jesus confirmed this truth while on earth, after his friend Lazarus died. Jesus likened death to sleep. If Lazarus had gone to heaven to be with Almight God, Jesus bringing him back to earth eventually to die again would have been no kindness. John 11:11-14,34,38-44 says that Jesus said with a loud voice "Lazarus come on out", Jesus knew that Lazarus had never left the earth. He had been lying lifeless in a tomb.
This incident recorded in the Bible helps us to understand that death is not a means that God uses to transfer humans from earth to heaven. We can thus be drawn to God knowing that he has not caused our sadness. We can also trust that he fully grasp the sorrow and damage that the enemy death causes us. The Bible truth about the condition of the dead proves that the dead are lifeless in the grave according to Ecclesiastes 9:5,10. The memory of our loved ones need not be stained with revulsion toward God.
God himself has promised according to John 5:28,29 " Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tomb will hear his voice and come out." Where will this resurrection take place? According to Psalms 37:29 " The righteous will possess the earth, and they will reside forever upon it." Think of what that means, families and friends torn apart by death will again meet here on earth. As you think of enjoying good times with those companionships you once treasured, it is reasonable for your heart to swell with happiness. All these promises are in the Bible, and come from God, so we know that theses things will happen, because according to Titus 1:2 "God can not Lie."
I hope these scriptures bring you some hope in your time of grief.

Permalink Reply by riptatsnshxt on September 22, 2009 at 4:02pm

i lost someone that was real close to me name Nathaniel Nazario Jr. he died August 4,2009 i think about him everyday i remember the day i lost him well that nite i got the phone call sayin he died i couldnt believe it ii called his phone cuz i was so shocked tears ran down my face when he didnt answer i called his best friend and asked what happen and he told me my boo was shot and they left him in the alley i was cryin i couldnt say nothing. i came home the next day with my eyes all bald up i was a mess i couldnt eat sleep or nothing all i did was cry at night and i still do i miss him so much i was jus talking to him that morninig and i was expressing myself to him i told him how much he means to me and everything. I do blame myself for his death maybe if i called him he wouldnt be there maybe if i went with him. He was only 20 he just turned 20 on june 18 and i couldnt even have fun on my birthday august26 all i keep doing is thinking bout him

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Fariss on October 3, 2009 at 4:13am

lil kathy said:

my mother passed away about a year ago...august 16 2008 from a brain tumor that was cancerous. it came very sudden and no one understands how because it does'nt run in the family. Only 10 months after we found out that she had the tumor, it just kept growin and the doctors couldnt do anything about it. she was a very strong person, you couldnt even tell she was sick until the last week. i just dont understand why it happened. she was only 49 years old and the closest person in the world to me. everyday after we found out she had the tumor i prayed every night hoping for a miracle. it seemed like it was starting to get better, then it just went downhill. I am a very religious person and i go to church and i thank god that she is out of pain but i just dont understand why this happened. it has been very difficult for my father brother sister and I and i just don't know what to say tro them as well as the other way around. if anyone has had this happen to them or something similar i would really like to get comfort. thank you

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Fariss on October 3, 2009 at 4:14am

It has been 32 years the end of September since my dad died, and the 30th is his birthday. the last week of september is always difficult, and I find that I am overly emotional during the anniversary date every year. He had leukemiu and was just short of his 51st birthday. Mother has been a widow for those same long 32 years. We hope to see him again someday.

Permalink Reply by diane adcox on October 8, 2009 at 1:57am

im new to this site but when i read your story it brings tears to my eyes becouse i just lost my grandma sept23,2009 and i did not get to say goodbye to her one last time but i know how you feel my brother jim went to see her and i called there to texas everyday to see how she was doing all they keep saying was no change i felt all alone my housband has tryed to help me throwe this hard time but i just cant seem to except the lost since her dealth my brother and father have not talked to me or called to see how im dealing with this lost i was verey close to my grandma she help raise me and i lived with her and grandpa most of my life. i just feel so alone and lost with out her she was my best friend and know i find my self woundering around the house at night trying to remeber little things she said to me or things she gave me. i have never felt so alone so i know what your going throwe my heart goes out to you on your lost of your housband and i will pray you will find peace's in your heart to deal with your lost.lossing a loved one is not easy but sometimes it just helps to talk to others who know what your going throwe and how your feeling. it takes awhile to come to terms with lossing someone give your self some more time to heal . i lost my twins awhile back and there is not a day that goes by i dont miss them or cry for them and wish they was here with me . once again im truely sorry for your lost of your husband may god bless you and give you peace to heal .

Permalink Reply by marilyn henderson dorris on October 9, 2009 at 11:50am

my name is marilyn,and my husband went into septic shock hours after i called an ambulance-he was dead within 9 hours. it has been nearly 3 months, and i've have experienced some really strange thoughts and feelings. some days i feel as if he was never,ever even here on this earth with me-is that odd? i have been having trouble needing to cry, and find myself unable. i get tire so easily still-i am working(not everyday) but at night all i want to do is be in my house. i have some memorial projects(i'm going to put plantings in his work boots and frame collages my daughter made of him for his wake) but i am procrastinating. i'm hoping that writing this will enable me to move forward-i have felt so stuck lately. i got some comforting replies last time i wrote , so i'm hoping for that again-anybody ever feel like their loved one was never here?

Permalink Reply by Carol Kunnerup on October 10, 2009 at 2:52pm

Marilyn, I just wanted to say that my thoughts have done a similar strange thing. I look at pictures of my daughter and worry that one day I won't remember who that lovely girl in the picture is. or that no one else will. I often feel as though my daughter is somewhere off doing something and we haven't spoken for a while, a busy soon to be 21 year old. then I get the slap in the face of the facts of life and the pain smashes into me. She was in a motorcycle accident just over 2 years ago.
I can understand if this sounds completely different, but, I think it is similar. it might be about the pain. the denial. the bargaining to do the right thing, then we will be rewarded with the return of our loved. I, too, am having trouble focusing, though I have many things to do and promises to be kept, I just keep being dragged back into the same places. I find that i want to be in the house too, perhaps just in case she decides to pop by and with that beautiful 18 year old fresh face with perfect olive complexion, soft dark eyes and wild and wonderful hair she will say, hips uneven,hands on one, sunglasses on top of her head, 'hi momma" i can hear it still. i miss her soo much.
I hear you Marilyn. chronological time means nothing. to me, there are periods where i lose my girl each and every day, several times a day. and then there are periods wehn it takes a memory or a song that send me reeling. she is on my mind each and every day. I think writing each day does help and marking the beginning and passing of each day to stay somewhat grounded in time.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself, i don't think you are procrastinating. your body and mind are doing waht they must to get you through this hard time.
I am so sorry for your loss. i know there are people out there who can be helpful.

Permalink Reply by kristi on October 10, 2009 at 5:21pm

HI TO ALL MY FRIENDS ON LEGACY.COM YESTERDAY AND TODAY I WENT TO A WOMANS RETREAT,I LISTENED TO A SPEAKER HER NAME WAS LESLEY WYAMAN I LEARNED SOME MUCH FROM HER FOR THE GRIEF PROCESS AND HOW YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WOULD REALLY SUPPORT YOU AND STUFF AND I AGREED WITH ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID.SHE LOST HER 2 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER A YEAR AGO WITH THE BLINDS RAPPED AROUND HER NECK.THERE WAS ALOT OF PEOPLE THERE CRYING.WE FELT THE PAIN.JUST LIKE ON HERE WE FEEL THE PAIN FOR EACH OTHER.I TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SITE TO SEE IF SHE COMES ON HERE.JUST TO LET YOU KNOW I HAVE NOT DREAMED ABOUT MY SON EVERETTE TILL LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS AWAY FROM HOME AND I TALKED TO LESLIE SHE TOOK ME OUT SIDE AND I TOOK GOD INTO MY HEART AND I WANT HIM TO SAVE ME FROM THE HURT AND PAIN THAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING FOR 3 YEARS.THIS LADY IS SO STRONG THAT SHE EVEN STOOD UP AND TALKED ABOUT HER DAUGHTER AND STUFF AT THE FUNERAL.SHE IS AMAZING.SHE HAS A WEB SITE ON UNDER HER NAME IF YOU WANT TO LOOK HER UP AND SEE WHAT SHE HAS DONE IN THE LAST YEAR THAT HER DAUGHTER HAS BEEN GONE.WELL I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM TRYING TO GET BETTER AND STOP THE ANGER AND PAIN THAT I HAVE INSIDE ALL THE TIME WHEN THE ANGEL DAY IS HERE.THAT IS WHAT LESLIE PUTS IT TO ME I HAVE TO START THAT.AND TO THE BITHDAYS AND HOLIDAYS.I LEARNED ALOT AND I THOUGHT I WOULD LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I DREAMED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3 YEARS AND I AM PROUD THAT I COULD DO THAT.THANKS FOR LISTENING KRISIT

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