Florence no words can describe how this had to have hurt but remember she was no longer in that body and her spirit was freed. I too have 9 siblings and so I know how much she must have been loved. Try to remember the joy and mom will always be with you.
I had to see my husband's dead body lying on an old cold garage floor after he died of a brain anerism but that memory has finally faded and I can remember his blue eyes and smile and that twinkle in his eye. I am so sorry about your mom and what a horrible way to find out about her. suep
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom this year in Feb (2009). I too did all her errands because she did not drive. I use to dread sometimes going out in the bitter of winter and do her grocery shopping and hulling those bags up to her apartment...so I understand when you say you wish she was her for you to do an errand for her again. I think it is human nature to sometimes feel that way. I still cry for my Mom every day; I miss her so badly. However, I would not have her back the way she was. She had open heart surgery and only lived for 6 months afterwards. She never felt well and had no appeite. God is the one who gave me the strength to get through the funeral and clean out her apartment. There is no way I could have done that by myself.
I lost my mom November 1st, 2008. She had emphseyma, and her death was expected...but it still has been so very hard. I was her caretaker for as long as I can remember. She never drove..so any Dr appts, or groc store needs or anything.it was always me. And I know I didnt appreciate it as I should have. I have a journal that I wrote in every day after she passed, it did truly help with my grief. We are believers in Jesus Christ and I know where she is now, and that she is happy and whole, and so much better. But oh what I wouldnt give to have to go to the store for her again..or get on the phone and talk about silly mindless things that at the moment I thought I just didnt have time for. I still have her suitcase, with the things she brought over from her last visit, as if she has never left. Her tennis shoes on top of the suitcase, with her clothes neatly packed. I just can not bring myself to throw them out. I know I need to, but its like my last connection to her. I still have a voicemail that she left me while she was still in the hospital. Im heartbroken my mom is gone, but I will see her again and thats my comfort. OH, but do I miss her. I miss talking with her, I miss praying with her, I miss seeing her. I just miss her. thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you still have your mom, call her, go see her, HUG her and tell her you love her!