Remembering Dad

Grief support: No matter what your age, losing your dad can be difficult. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the death of their fathers.

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Permalink Reply by Michele T on June 5, 2010 at 7:16pm

Michele T said:

Michele T said:
Donna Wilkins said:
Dear Daddy,
It will be 6 years this August since I have heard your voice, it still hurts just as much as it did the day you went to Heaven. I miss our talks, I miss you making me laugh when I was upset or just for no reason. I miss you telling me you love me and that I 'was such a pretty thing'.
You were a great dad and I still struggle to get thru the day sometimes, I have great memories but that just isn't enough. I would give anything for just one more day.....
I love you so much!

Permalink Reply by Michele T on June 5, 2010 at 7:20pm

I understand, just one day, wow. I miss my dad every minute of my life. It will never leave me, never. My mother and I have always had struggles, but, she did say one thing to me that I have to agree with. He wouldn't want me to not live my life, since he always wanted me to be happy. He was so proud of my sucesses and only wanted me to go forward with them. Just have to remember that.

Permalink Reply by Michele T on June 5, 2010 at 7:24pm

My father died a number of years ago. I know I was a daddy's little girl with him. He was my King, everything to me. Have no idea why I can not give my heart to someone else. I just can not allow myself to give my heart to anyone but my father. I know he wouldn't want that. But, I just can't

Permalink Reply by Donna Wilkins on June 5, 2010 at 11:27pm

bless your heart, I am so sorry for your loss. Anger is one of the stages you have to go thru in the grieving process, it will pass. Be patient with yourself and let yourself feel what ever you are feeling. When you start to feel angry, give yourself a safe outlet, punch a pillow or go to a gym and use the punching bag, go somewhere remote and just scream. It will help if you deal with and let the anger out just do it safely, and pray. Read this book, its by Patrick Mathews and its called Never Say Goodbye.

kaz said:

hi, i really need some help, my dad committed suicide at new years and up to now i have dealt relatively fine but due to incidents in my life it has pushed me too far and i cant cope anymore, i dnt know what i am supposed to do, i really need some advice or something im not sure but i know that i cant keep on as i am. i have found myself exploding at people when they have done very little to upset me, also since it has happened i feel completely alienated by my friends as if they no longer care about me, not paranoia, the way they have been acting

Permalink Reply by Donna Wilkins on June 5, 2010 at 11:35pm

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. Have you talked to any one professionally about this. You need a safe place to get this out and deal with it with someone who can give you the right answers. It will help you to write about it but you really need to talk to someone. you may not ever get over it but you are going thru such torment and I wish you some peace.

pam dotson said:

My father died this last Easter Sunday. His obituary was reported in The Kansas City Star. It was curious to me how much of his life between 1949 and 1975 was ommitted. This was the the time during which he married my mother and raised his first family consisting of four children. I am the youngest of these four children. I realize that this might sound very strange, however, I thought for many years that I would celebrate my father's death. When the news came to me though, I felt a familiar numb hit me. I do not know how to grieve a man who commited so many crimes against us. My father was the perpetrator of all forms of abuse...physical, sexual, and emotional. My memories begin at age three years when I remember the threats he used to terrify me so I would not tell of his molesting me. He said he would kill me, then he said he would kill my mother, and finally he said he "would put a thousand spiders in my room" if I told. I cannot count how many nights I abruptly awakened the whole family clinging atop my headboard screaming because in the dark and in my confusion the flowers on my sheets looked like spiders. My siblings, being older and remembering my life prior to age three report that his abuse of me actually began much younger while he was changing my diaper. That evil man is now gone and cannot hurt anyone like that again. Yet, here I am writing in this forum in the hopes of making some sense out of so many conflicting feelings about my father's death that at present I feel as if I am spinning. I wonder if there is anyone having a similar experience who might reply to this with some insight for me. While I feel quite the jumbled mess right now, I am aware of great anger...anger about many things such as my father being able to walk away from us, scott free, to embark on a new life seemingly without consequence. Anger at the obituary I read depicting him as an honorable man and not the criminal guilty of heinous acts against his wife and children. Anger that his present family are ignorant to all of this and anger at the total lie he was allowed to live while my mother, my siblings, and I suffered the consequences of his behavior. If there is anyone reading this who can offer some advice or understanding or who can make some sense of this situation, I would greatly appreciate hearing from them.

Permalink Reply by Donna Wilkins on June 5, 2010 at 11:37pm

this happened to me too, I didn't leave my house for almost a year. I sought spiritual help. I hope you will be ok and find the peace you need, I am so sorry for your loss

COLLEEN said:

I also lost my dad well 6 years ago and I knew it was going tobe hard but it way more than that we werent ready.
Since he's been gone I am turning into a recluse I dont leave except to grocery shop . I 'm already the oldest member of my family and I afraid if I go TOFAR AWAY FROM HOME AND SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME MY KIDS WONT HAVE ANY ONE..
AND GOD FORBID I ALOUD SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TOME CAUSE i'M SURE MY BROTHER FOR GOT SOMETHING WHILE HE STOLE MY INHERRITANCE AND EVERY THING ELSE HE COULD WHILE I WAS WITH OUR DAD AT THE HOSPITAL..
hE'S AMILLIONAIR AND i'M A POOR SINGLE MOM AND HE HAS NO CHILDREN
AND HE SAYS HE CANT COME IN THEHOUSE OR EVEN PARK IN FRONT OF IT CAUSE IT'S TO HAUNTED

Permalink Reply by Ty on June 7, 2010 at 2:28am

My Dad recently passed last thursday morning 6/3/2010. He was a quiet strong man with a sense of pride in his family. Dad placed very strong emphasis, disciplines and guidance on his eight children. He made sure that what ever we do, we should be successful at it. He taught me the value of knowledge which are best kept in your heart and especially in memories. Knowledge without memories are like dust in the wind. Memories are the building blocks of data, experiences, and connections among us. My dad will always be in my memory. In loving memory of Nguon Vinh Tran:

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Permalink Reply by Ms.Bullins on June 9, 2010 at 10:10am

I just lossed my dad, which I called him "papa". May 3 2010. I was in New York and just got home when I got the call. My sister found him in his home, they think it was a heart attack. It hurts and I miss him so much. I don't have the words, I'm 27 but I've always been his lil girl. It was so unexpected, he was 57 and in good health. To make things worse my sister has been causing problems for the family, while trying to handle things. I don't know who she is anymore, she's not the same, but she won't get help. It's so complicated and stressful...I just want peace in the family...This fathers day is going to be hard...

Permalink Reply by Sunny_T on June 13, 2010 at 6:02pm

My entire family is at my moms house eating and letting balloons go. I just can't do that. The man has only been gone for 2 days.
and their all upset at me because I can't grieve the way they want me to!
I was the one who was with him when he took his final breath. My brothers hadn't been there in a week or more because they just couldn't handle it. When we was stopping breathing, my mom went outside because she just didn't want to see him take his final breath. There was just me. And now that is all I see everytime I close my eyes.

Permalink Reply by Dee on June 15, 2010 at 1:43pm

Well, I lost my Dad in December of 09. He was 71, and at the time I was not ready to let him go. I find even 5 years later, I miss him more and more. So many things have changed, my kids are so much older. The fact that my youngest child doesn't even remember him, since he died when she was three, is really hard. My Dad was a kind, funny, generous person who was a great family man. I wish I could talk to him. He had a place at the beach, and often we would sit for hours reading, not even talking. I was just glad he was there. He loved to play with the kids when they were little, and would always give me a much needed break with them. He loved to teach them how to do things, play games, do all the things he was too busy, or never home to do with me. I don't fault him for it, I am blessed he did them with my children. I would like to say the time helps, but I find the longer I have gone without talking to him, the more I miss all the wonderful things about him. Happy Father's Day Dad, I know you know how much we miss you because you are watching over us. You are thought of each and every day with love.

Permalink Reply by Darla Vaudreuil on June 15, 2010 at 1:54pm

Ya know, i've listened and watched my family grieve. I know everyone grieves in there own way, but i dont feel like i've really grieved??? When my dad passed i grieved and on occasion ill cry but i have not had any kind of break down or melt down?? is that to come? am i in denial? i have not had days of crying or sleepless nights and yes i loved my dad, we were really close-??
confused in Wellington

Permalink Reply by Kim Robinson on June 15, 2010 at 1:59pm

I lost my father 3 months ago after he got sick last October. I am very sad with Fathers Day approaching. My Dad lived a very healthy life for 80 years and then we lost my brother unexpectedly at 48 it was 3 years ago and our family, myself included was changed forever. My dad took the news terribly as they were so close and we had no warning signs, I think the grief is ultimately what took his life. I appreciate my life and my family so much but I am always sad, one day I was on top of the world and then my happy life was changed forever. I lost my best friend and he was cheated out of a long life and I feel cheated too. I wish everyone feeling sad the strength to get through this tough time. Happy Fathers Day!