Michele T said:Donna Wilkins said:Dear Daddy,
It will be 6 years this August since I have heard your voice, it still hurts just as much as it did the day you went to Heaven. I miss our talks, I miss you making me laugh when I was upset or just for no reason. I miss you telling me you love me and that I 'was such a pretty thing'.
You were a great dad and I still struggle to get thru the day sometimes, I have great memories but that just isn't enough. I would give anything for just one more day.....
I love you so much!
hi, i really need some help, my dad committed suicide at new years and up to now i have dealt relatively fine but due to incidents in my life it has pushed me too far and i cant cope anymore, i dnt know what i am supposed to do, i really need some advice or something im not sure but i know that i cant keep on as i am. i have found myself exploding at people when they have done very little to upset me, also since it has happened i feel completely alienated by my friends as if they no longer care about me, not paranoia, the way they have been acting
My father died this last Easter Sunday. His obituary was reported in The Kansas City Star. It was curious to me how much of his life between 1949 and 1975 was ommitted. This was the the time during which he married my mother and raised his first family consisting of four children. I am the youngest of these four children. I realize that this might sound very strange, however, I thought for many years that I would celebrate my father's death. When the news came to me though, I felt a familiar numb hit me. I do not know how to grieve a man who commited so many crimes against us. My father was the perpetrator of all forms of abuse...physical, sexual, and emotional. My memories begin at age three years when I remember the threats he used to terrify me so I would not tell of his molesting me. He said he would kill me, then he said he would kill my mother, and finally he said he "would put a thousand spiders in my room" if I told. I cannot count how many nights I abruptly awakened the whole family clinging atop my headboard screaming because in the dark and in my confusion the flowers on my sheets looked like spiders. My siblings, being older and remembering my life prior to age three report that his abuse of me actually began much younger while he was changing my diaper. That evil man is now gone and cannot hurt anyone like that again. Yet, here I am writing in this forum in the hopes of making some sense out of so many conflicting feelings about my father's death that at present I feel as if I am spinning. I wonder if there is anyone having a similar experience who might reply to this with some insight for me. While I feel quite the jumbled mess right now, I am aware of great anger...anger about many things such as my father being able to walk away from us, scott free, to embark on a new life seemingly without consequence. Anger at the obituary I read depicting him as an honorable man and not the criminal guilty of heinous acts against his wife and children. Anger that his present family are ignorant to all of this and anger at the total lie he was allowed to live while my mother, my siblings, and I suffered the consequences of his behavior. If there is anyone reading this who can offer some advice or understanding or who can make some sense of this situation, I would greatly appreciate hearing from them.
I also lost my dad well 6 years ago and I knew it was going tobe hard but it way more than that we werent ready.
Since he's been gone I am turning into a recluse I dont leave except to grocery shop . I 'm already the oldest member of my family and I afraid if I go TOFAR AWAY FROM HOME AND SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME MY KIDS WONT HAVE ANY ONE..
AND GOD FORBID I ALOUD SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TOME CAUSE i'M SURE MY BROTHER FOR GOT SOMETHING WHILE HE STOLE MY INHERRITANCE AND EVERY THING ELSE HE COULD WHILE I WAS WITH OUR DAD AT THE HOSPITAL..
hE'S AMILLIONAIR AND i'M A POOR SINGLE MOM AND HE HAS NO CHILDREN
AND HE SAYS HE CANT COME IN THEHOUSE OR EVEN PARK IN FRONT OF IT CAUSE IT'S TO HAUNTED