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Remembering Dad
Grief support: No matter what your age, losing your dad can be difficult. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the death of their fathers.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Diamond on
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I lost my Dad in 2007 and there seems to always be an events in life that reminds me of my Dad. I miss the conversations, I miss the timeless comfort, I just miss all of his hugs. My Dad had a profound belief in God and yes, I do look forward to the time when I will be able to see him again. We can see what God has promised for the future in the Bible. With that hope - it brings me so much comfort to know that he is no longer in pain or suffering from any of his ailments. This life as we know it with all of the imperfections of mankind brings with it death - man's worst enemy. However, with faith and hope in what we read in the Bible we can be assured of better times ahead. (Revelation 21:3,4) (Daniel 2:44)
Do one ever get pass not missing their love one and not longing to see their love one lost in death. No, our heart holds onto that love and with the passing of each day - we learn how to readjust to the change set of affairs without them. However, we never loose the love we had for them.
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Permalink Reply by Kim Hopkins on
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Thank you Diamond...that was beautiful and so true.
Diamond said:I lost my Dad in 2007 and there seems to always be an events in life that reminds me of my Dad. I miss the conversations, I miss the timeless comfort, I just miss all of his hugs. My Dad had a profound belief in God and yes, I do look forward to the time when I will be able to see him again. We can see what God has promised for the future in the Bible. With that hope - it brings me so much comfort to know that he is no longer in pain or suffering from any of his ailments. This life as we know it with all of the imperfections of mankind brings with it death - man's worst enemy. However, with faith and hope in what we read in the Bible we can be assured of better times ahead. (Revelation 21:3,4) (Daniel 2:44)
Do one ever get pass not missing their love one and not longing to see their love one lost in death. No, our heart holds onto that love and with the passing of each day - we learn how to readjust to the change set of affairs without them. However, we never loose the love we had for them.
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Permalink Reply by Jodie Moeding on
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My Dad died 2 days ago. He was 54, and had been hit on his motorcycle 10 days prior. I wasn't prepared for losing my dad at the age of 34....now I feel so lost. I don't want to sleep, when I wake up it hits me that he is gone. My kids are 17, 12, and 3. My 3 year old has been my Dad's shadow for the last year, and now he really won't remember him. It is up to us to make sure he remembers and that is not fair.....he should be able to create his own. My mom is lost, she has been with him since she was 14. I have so many people to worry about and I don't know how long I can deal. I cry so much, there are moments where I don't cry, but they are brief and sadness is still heavy. It hurts from my heart to the pit of my stomach. I keep replaying in my head him having CPR done and me having to beg my mom to have them stop. He was no longer with us, just his body that was trying to shut down. My husband is so supportive but rather distraught as well. People are so sweet and helpful, but all I want is my Dad to not be dead, laying in the Coroners office. I know it's only been a couple of days, but this grief feels so deep and so unrelenting that I fear it will always be here. I also held my Dad's hand as his heart came to a stop, although I keep wondering if maybe it didn't happen....I know it did. And my heart just keeps breaking. I just want him back :(
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Jodie I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father in 2011 @ the age of 82 yrs old but being a Daddy's little girl it hurt deeply. You are going to feel such a range of emotions especially the first year. I know what you are going through. It will take time and you will never forget him and just hang on to those memories. It sounds like the last 10 days of your Dad's life wasn't how he wanted to live. You know your Father and I think he would want you to grieve but wouldn't want you to feel you must now take care of everyone. Take time for Jodie. Let things sink in. It was fast. I know talking helped me. That's why I joined this site. It helps to talk with people that have gone through the very same thing you going through now. I literally handed over to God because it was too much for me to handle it alone. I know he answered my prayers. Please take care of yourself and your family. Sounds like you have a wonderful husband. By what you just wrote it sounds like your dad meant a great deal to many people. Before you know it you will be celebrating his life and keep those wonderful memories of the two of you. No one can ever take those from you. They are yours. I will keep you, your entire family, especially your Mom in my thoughts and prayers through this most difficult time.
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Buried my Dad today. It was touching to see all those who loved him. I do hate that he was in so much pain for the last 10 days, and I know he no longer hurts. I worry about my mom, she says she has nothing to live for, I try but don't know what to do!
Maureen Kay McFee said:Jodie I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father in 2011 @ the age of 82 yrs old but being a Daddy's little girl it hurt deeply. You are going to feel such a range of emotions especially the first year. I know what you are going through. It will take time and you will never forget him and just hang on to those memories. It sounds like the last 10 days of your Dad's life wasn't how he wanted to live. You know your Father and I think he would want you to grieve but wouldn't want you to feel you must now take care of everyone. Take time for Jodie. Let things sink in. It was fast. I know talking helped me. That's why I joined this site. It helps to talk with people that have gone through the very same thing you going through now. I literally handed over to God because it was too much for me to handle it alone. I know he answered my prayers. Please take care of yourself and your family. Sounds like you have a wonderful husband. By what you just wrote it sounds like your dad meant a great deal to many people. Before you know it you will be celebrating his life and keep those wonderful memories of the two of you. No one can ever take those from you. They are yours. I will keep you, your entire family, especially your Mom in my thoughts and prayers through this most difficult time.
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I love love love the pics! You were obviously very adored. I am so sorry for your loss!
R.I.P. AUNT SUSAN said:
I AGREE 5 YEARS AGO MY FATHER COMMITTED SUICIDE AND I CANT TELL YOU THE HURT THE LOSS OUR FAMILY HAS DEALT WITH EACH DEATH IS DIFFERENT EVEN THOUGH SICKNESS COMES IN ALL FORMS IT STILL TAKES A TOLL ON YOU. THE MESSED UP PART WAS MY DAUGHTERS AT THE TIME FOUND HIM WHEN THEY CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL.BUT EVEN NOW AT 4O BIRTHDAYS HOLIDAYS AND FATHERSDAYS SUCK. -
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Permalink Reply by Come Be Refreshed 119 on
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Dear fellow legacyconnect members: May I offer my sincere belated condolences to you on the loss of your father and friend. I do not presume to know exactly what you are feeling or going through, but please know that others, like myself, understand to a degree your pain. Although we've lost a father, daddy, papa or whatever affectionate term of endearment we used to identify our dads with; the bottom line is that we sorely miss them....our papa's had big shoulders for us to cry on when we needed a listening ear, they made us smile and laugh when we were down and gave us the thumbs up when we did well, and gave us encouragement to keep trying when we faltered at times. Our daddy's, they were the strength in our lives, the wind under our wings, they protected us from unscrupulous guys and the so-called "boogie man" when we were afraid to go to sleep at night by softly reading us a bedtime story though maybe at times we didn't appreciate it, but now that we've grown up or now that our fathers' are gone we see just how much of a vital impact, a positive force they were in our lives. We were our dads' little princesses and "snookums".
It can truly be a quite an adjustment and challenge without our fathers in our lives. It can be difficult to move on without them calling us up and telling us to: "Be careful out there...", or "Call me when you arrive home"; we all have our fond memories of our fathers and stepfathers are included too. May your hearts, like mine, find comfort and reassurance in God's Word where it states: "He (God) will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God shall wipe away tears from all faces (Isaiah 25:8). Look to God, Jehovah for continous strength to make it through this sad chapter in your lives. He (God) is willing and wants to help you find peace of mind and peace of heart concerning the loss of a precious person in your life....our fathers. (Isaiah 41:10 and verse 13).
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So, My first New Year's Eve that I can't say Happy New Year to My Dad. I'm not doing to bad because this is the first year my lil brother won't be alone up there. But man it's hard I mean it's My Dad. I guess I'll celebrate no more hospital trips, no more dialysis treatments, and no more pain for My Dad. I just love him so. And miss him dearly. I love you Daddy. Mr. Lacey Williams Sr. Happy No More Pain Year.
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Dear Tamika, though your words are few, they are powerful when it comes to conveying the deep emotional pain of your precious loss, your father, Mr. Lacey Williams Sr. As I was reading your reply I felt compelled to offer to you as I have done others my sincere condolences. Tamika you can rest assured in the fact that you were a good daughter to your father. You stuck with him through all the hospital stays and trips, the dialysis treatments and the pain and suffering your dad went through. You loved and honored your father just as the scriptures in the Bible say at Ephesians 6:2,3: "Honor your father and your mother; which is the first command with a promise: That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time in the earth." God, Jehovah, highly appreciates it when you lovingly care for your parent(s); He promises those children who take care of their ailing parent(s) a long life upon the earth and that you will have His approval. Therefore, blessings are in store for you because of the sacrifices you have made in his, your dad's behalf. It takes loving patience and endurance when taking care of a parent with chronic illnesses and it shows the positive qualities of those like yourself who do so.
Tamika you truly honored your father to the best of your abilities and circumstances. No doubt you wish you could have done more. We all do when someone so precious as a parent falls asleep in death. When you watch someone precious slowly die over a period of time its heart wrenching, and when you peer or gaze into their eyes it takes everything you have not to burst into tears...because you know you have to be strong for them...you can't let them see the agony you are going through watching them suffer. So no doubt you put on the your best "poker face" and your "game face" so to speak, to keep them encouraged so that their last remaining days would be worry free and comfortable. We do this for the ones we love who are dying. God gives us the strength and endurance to carry this willing and loving task out. (Psalms 9:9). Your father, Mr. Lacey Williams Sr. died knowing that you were faithful in caring for his emotional and material needs; making sure he made his medical appointments, making sure he ate his meals, took his medications and was sufficiently cared for. You know doubt was his advocate in different areas of life. Your father died a proud man because of having someone like you to show personal care and interest in him; which is a rarity in this "me first, selfish world". He probably regularly prayed and thanked God for a daughter like you!
Tamika death is so cruel because it keeps us from taking care of "unfinished business". And what is this unfinished business? (1) To say: "I love you" again to our dad. (2) To have those daddy-daughter talks and walks again (3) To get our dad's advice on a problem with our car or to change our oil, to get advice on life in general again. (4) To see our dad's smile of approval again. (5) To cry on his 'shoulders' and to have a listening ear again. (6) To say: "Daddy what do you want me to pick up for you while I'm out" again. (7) To say: "I'll see you in a little while, or I'll call you in a little while, or I'm on my way dad see you on a 'bit'." again. This, and much more "unfinished business" the enemy death has robbed us of (1st Corinthians 15:26). Tamika, as you reflect on the life of your dad, your loved one, his legacy and the memories he has left you to treasure; may your heart be comforted in knowing that our loving God and Creator also cares for you (1st Peter 5:7). He is mindful of your emotional pain, your grief and sorrow and He is anxious to mend your broken heart and "bind up" those "painful spots" or circumstances in your life, those voids in your life that have come about because of your father's falling asleep in death, because of the missing piece of the puzzle in your life, your father, Mr. Lacey Williams Sr. (Psalms 46:1). God promises at John 5:28,29 and Isaiah 26:19 that: "....the hour (or time period) is COMING when those in the memorial tombs (graves) will hear His voice and come out...." and "Your dead ones will live. A corpse of mine---they will rise up. Awake and cry out joyfully, you residents of the dust! For your dew is as the dew of mallows, and the the earth itself will let even those impotent in death drop in birth"!....So even though Tamika tears will flow for a time and your heart will pain for awhile, God promises that He will soon lovingly wipe away the tears from all faces and death will be no more! (Revelation 21:4,5)....Tamika you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Also, take care of yourself; thats what your dad would want you to do.
Jackie
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Permalink Reply by doris rispoli on
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lost my dad on 5/25/13. from Christmas eve he was in out of the hospital. and he kept falling also. but he had stents put in . and 5 days later land up in the hospital with chf heart failure. and in june he was suppose to go for valve replacement. never happen. I always called my dad once to twice a day every day. and got the news on 5/25 on Saturday night. that my sister found my dad dead on the kitchen floor. and I spoke to my dad that Friday he cut the grass that Thursday . on that Friday he cleaned the lawn mower. called my dad that evening. and his heart must gave out or had a massive heart attack. just cant let go of my dad. and the time of death the funnel home said was 3pm on Saturday. doesnot cut it with me. had to be Friday night he was in his pj's his bed was rolled down. cant find comfort or peace yet. gave it to god. but still cant cry for my dad. it hurts so much. never felt this way with my mom. and I got close to my dad over the years. still fresh in my mind of my dad and see his face and scared to death of the dark now.my husband doesnot listern to me and have no where to turn to now to this group.
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Kim. My deepest condolences for your loss. I lost my grandmother over 10 years ago, and since she raised me and was like a mom, to this day i think of things i want to tell her and i start crying because she is not there. But what helps me cope is the promise, like you mentioned, that we have the hope of seeing our loved ones again. I learned from the Bible that Jehovah God promises we will see them again on earth. John 5;28, 29, Psalms 37:29. And that He will put an end to all suffering once and for all, Rev. 21:3,4. If you do not have a Bible, I invite you to visit jw.org where you can one online. You are in my prayers, and it is my hope these scriptures provide you some comfort though this difficult time. Jennifer
Kim said:Bee it has been almost 8 months now since I lost my father, and it was the darkest day of my life as well. He and I were very close. The pain at times is almost unbearable. But I wanted to encourage you. In the moments, I feel the weakest, I remember his strength. Sometimes, I will visit his grave and just sit and talk and if I am quiet and listen....I hear him. I know the advice he is giving me or the words of comfort he is speaking. His body may be there, but his spirit is very much alive. One day I will see him again. It is that hope that helps me each day. I pray for peace and comfort for the journey ahead of you. -
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Permalink Reply by Michelle D on
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I lost my Dad in 2010. I will not say that I have completely recovered...But for all of u out there... I still struggle.. I work for a DME company that checks benefits for insurance and the songs that they use when u are on hold are the same songs that they use when we are in the funeral home.. I have to say that it sucks beyond belief. I went to grief counseling at my local Hospice(which was free) but I cant seem to get over the hump. I work in a tight knit company....everyone is informal, but seem to still want to cry.....its terrible. My Dad died suddenly, I get that...But, I have to endure the songs day to day and cant handle it almost 4 years from his death.....
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