Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on September 21, 2009 at 9:29pm

This is a pleasant surprise. I was looking to see if my Bo's obituary came out in our daily paper and they advertised this site so I thought I'd give it a look-see. Then I found you and of all the people to reply to, I only replied to your thread. May I ask what you DH's name is?

Bo was also cremated and when his service is over, he's coming home with me. When I go, my daughter will mix our ashes and we will be scattered in Hawaii's blue ocean, right off the spot where we renewed our 15th anniversary vows.

Can I share something and let me know if you had a similar experience? Bo was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in June of 2008, but I noticed a difference in him as far back as November 2007. He went through 4 rounds of chemo and 2 rounds of radiation. He had two surgeries to put stents in his arteries. He worked right up to the day we brought him to the er. The chemo didn't make him sick, just a little weak and his job was easy and his bosses bent over backwards to see that he was not over working. The last 6 months of his life was horrible. He was a shadow of himself. He had painful hemorrhoids and his spine was weakened by the chemo and his back bone hurt. He could only sit at an angle and it was painful for him to walk very far. He also ate very little at that time. I guess I was in denial and we argued about his eating habits and why he just sat and watched tv............I just didn't and couldn't understand what he was feeling and I wanted my old husband back. Needless to say, we went through a tough time in our personal life as well. I feel so guilty about that. All the "would have, could haves" and "if only" runs through my mind. I pray he understands now that I was suffering along with him.

I notice there are other ladies here that are hurting too. Jump in girls. We need each other.

With Warm Aloha, Linda

Permalink Reply by Sharon Stricklen on September 21, 2009 at 9:44pm

Carl as well lung cancer stage 3. He had 16 rounds of chemo and 12 of radiation and that along just about killed him, he was so sick. He had no surgerys for the tumor was right behind his heart and inoperatable. He had bad nerve damage in his arm and he tooCc could never get comfortable. We usesd cushions and padding and pillows but nothing worked. carl ate very little and drank less and he went from 240 pounds to 70 when he passed Like you i wanted my hussband back but we both knew that that would never be. im sorry i dont know what dh stands for. anyway carl only watched tv too and i never knew what he was thinking or feeling either, i just sat with him and loved him and i would put a pillow on the floor beside him and put my head on his little shoulder, it just about killed me that i couldnt set on his lap anymore he was so frail. Your hussband understood that you were suffering right along with him he sure did, and i know that it was hard on you just as it was for me. I cant tell you how many times carl would appologize to me for being sick, how sweet was that. Do you know you probably have a page in this site of your own? look and see and ill talk to you later

Permalink Reply by Georgia on September 21, 2009 at 9:47pm

Sharon I to have lost my spouse plus my daughter 9 months later. I know what you mean when you say that you don't know what you are doing half of the time. I feel the same way. I walk into a room and forget what I went in there for, continually this happens. Sometimes I go for a walk or get on the treadmill, sometimes that will help a little. I never knew such pain. My Sister lost two Sons, little did I know her pain. God Bless her she has passed on and I Pray she is with them now and all of that pain is gone. I don't know how she did it.

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on September 21, 2009 at 10:13pm

Sharon, DH means Dear Husband.
Sharon Stricklen said:

Carl as well lung cancer stage 3. He had 16 rounds of chemo and 12 of radiation and that along just about killed him, he was so sick. He had no surgerys for the tumor was right behind his heart and inoperatable. He had bad nerve damage in his arm and he tooCc could never get comfortable. We usesd cushions and padding and pillows but nothing worked. carl ate very little and drank less and he went from 240 pounds to 70 when he passed Like you i wanted my hussband back but we both knew that that would never be. im sorry i dont know what dh stands for. anyway carl only watched tv too and i never knew what he was thinking or feeling either, i just sat with him and loved him and i would put a pillow on the floor beside him and put my head on his little shoulder, it just about killed me that i couldnt set on his lap anymore he was so frail. Your hussband understood that you were suffering right along with him he sure did, and i know that it was hard on you just as it was for me. I cant tell you how many times carl would appologize to me for being sick, how sweet was that. Do you know you probably have a page in this site of your own? look and see and ill talk to you later

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on September 21, 2009 at 10:19pm

Georgia,

A husband and a daughter! I cannot imagine the pain you feel. Hugs.
Georgia said:

Sharon I to have lost my spouse plus my daughter 9 months later. I know what you mean when you say that you don't know what you are doing half of the time. I feel the same way. I walk into a room and forget what I went in there for, continually this happens. Sometimes I go for a walk or get on the treadmill, sometimes that will help a little. I never knew such pain. My Sister lost two Sons, little did I know her pain. God Bless her she has passed on and I Pray she is with them now and all of that pain is gone. I don't know how she did it.

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