I am not sure how everyone feels about this, but I went to an intuitive medium. It was really good...better than good. There were so many acknowledgements and validations.
Tom came through immediately and the snowmobile came through right away. He let me know that he was ok now, he wasn't in pain anymore. He told me how proud he was of our kids. He told me how proud he was of me at how strong I was being and how well I was handling the kids. He was glad that I was always able to talk about him and keep him present in our lives. He told me that he didn't want to go, it wasn't his choice to leave his life; he loved his life, but it was all part of a bigger plan that we have yet to understand. He told me how sorry he was that this happened. (He apologized quite a few times during his 11 day stay in the hospital...sorry that he was putting me through all of that...the accident and the hospital stay.) I know these are all things that anyone can say. They really do not mean anything in and of themselves.
It was all the validations that came through and made me know he was there with me. I was so grateful that he came through and acknowledged each of our children individually. The medium came right out with Amanda's name and that she is the tomboy, Autumn was acknowledged by her initials and all her scholarships. He came through for Nick with his coin collection and his love of animals. She said it was as if he could actually communicate with the animals...we used to call him our "Dr. Doolittle". He kept repeating how proud he was of the kids. She said the feeling of how proud he was was so strong it was as if she just wanted to jump out of her chair because he is so proud. He made references to things that no one else would know about. She mentioned bowling...and thought maybe Tom was a big bowler...no, we bought a Wii and played bowling all the time before the accident and whoever lost at bowling had to dish up ice cream that night. I know he must be watching because he brought up scrabble...Nick and I have recently started playing scrabble. How amazing is it that she could come up with scrabble from nothing. He acknowledged that my father was having some health issues...my dad just happened to be in surgery in Florida while I was having my reading. Another thing the medium asked about was if Tom listened to country music..no, she asked if I like country...no...we're more of the classic rock from back in the day. Then she asked if there was a time that a country song was playing on the radio when I got into the car... OH YA...now it clicked. I had taken a pic of Tom to the store to blow up to 11 x 17 and when I got back into the car Lonestar and "I'm already there" was playing on the radio. Everytime I hear that song I think of Tom and the kids. That day was amazing because that song came on and of course I cried, but then 4 more songs played all right in a row that are really special to me and make me think of Tom so, that was soooo very validating for me. That day I was sure he was riding in the car with me. She also acknowledged my phone turning on automatically which it did one night while my mother in law was spending the night with me. He mentioned my sister by name and my cousin's husband, Don, that passed away 2 1/2 yrs ago. She said Tom comes to be with Blue Jays...we have blue jays around here, but I never really paid much attention to them other than...awe look there's a blue jay...now I'll pay more attention.
There was so much that made me know he was there with me and he's here with me everyday. I am so grateful that he is close by. It was all very comforting and will do it again sometime down the road.
Marlena (and Tom)
Always and Forever