I understand much of what you are saying. I also lost my mother last week. Aug. 12th, 2009. I find I need time to myself to grieve. Sometimes those that think they are consoling, can make me feel like I have to rush through the process and "get on with my life". I know eventually life will go on, but for now I am trying to just deal with each feeling as it comes to me. I do hope you find the comfort you seek.
I lost my Mother on Aug.11 2009 it is so hard to except she gone she was my best friend great mother, wife, and grandmother, she was loving and had a way of touching many people's hearts, we helped my Father take care of her daily each one of girls and daughter in law tried to make the work load on my Father easier so he could have a life, no matter what she always had a smile and loved life no matter how hard things got. I miss her so much
I have been there. My mother died June 17, 2007 and I still cry, I still get angry and I still get depressed. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it gets better with time. You learn to deal with it on a different level but getting better or easier are not the words I would use. Another thing I'm not going to tell you is that anger is part of the greiving process. In all honesty I didn't know there was a "process"! I still have times that I feel very angery with GOD that he didn't heal my mother. My husband, who is a preacher, tells me that GOD did in fact heal her, it was just in heaven and not here. But, I wanted it here! I prayed and prayed and I still feel as though GOD wasn't listening. Please don't get me wrong, I love our Lord, Jesus Christ but my faith during my Mom's illness just wasn't where maybe it should have been. I felt I had lost everything and my world turned upside down when Mom died. I was rude, distant, angery, sad and nothing or no one could comfort me. I felt alone no matter how many peple were around me. There were times that I would think it is OK, she isn't suffering any more; but that one little comforting thought wouldn't last but a moment and I was back to my depressed state; where I thought I would always be. As I said earlier, you learn to deal with the death of a loved one on a different level as time passes. I wish so much that I had the majic words to fix your broken heart, but neither I nor anyone else can do that. Prayer helped me. I took it day to day and feeling to feeling trying to look forward. My Mom wanted happiness for all her children and I knew I needed to move on. For me however the progression has been very slow even though I know my Mom would not approve. She loved life, loved living and want her children to do the same. I pray that someday both you and I will find that love of life again. You will be in my prayers. I pray for you to have GOD's GPS system............Grace, Peace and Strength!
It will be two months on September 11, 2009 since my mom passed away. That was the worst day of my entire life. I took her to the hospital the day before and all they could find was an UTI. When I took her back home she fell asleep from the medicine that they had given her from the hospital. The next day I went to her house to check on her but it was too late. There were no warnings and I still don't know what happened. I am feeling so many emotions each day that I don't know how to deal with them. My mom was my best friend and I loved her so much. We had so many jokes and things that only belonged to us and I miss all of that terribly. I feel so angry that I wasn't there with her - I feel guilty that I should have done something more. I am having a hard time accepting this. I always have heard about loved ones giving signs after they pass away to let us know that they are still with us. I want to experience something so badly, I have not had any dreams of her either and I want to as well. My heart is broken and I know it takes time but I don't want to experience this life without her. I am only 24 years old and she was supposed to be with me at my wedding and the day that I have kids. I feel as though my world has been torn apart. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and see her smiling face again.
I still can't believe she is gone. I keep expecting her to come around the corner and crack a joke. I want to hear her laugh or just her voice. The pain seems to be getting worse everyday.The saddest thing is that so many people want to comfort me but it doesn't work.I feel so lost without her. I've been listening to a song that makes me cry but also comforts me. It's called I'll Stand by You by the Pretenders. Music seems to help a bit.Good Luck.
Kathy said:I lost my Mother on Aug.11 2009 it is so hard to except she gone she was my best friend great mother, wife, and grandmother, she was loving and had a way of touching many people's hearts, we helped my Father take care of her daily each one of girls and daughter in law tried to make the work load on my Father easier so he could have a life, no matter what she always had a smile and loved life no matter how hard things got. I miss her so much