Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Brittany S on July 3, 2015 at 7:51am

Hi Diamond!

I agree completely. The Bible's promises helped me as well during my loss. There is comfort in knowing the truth about our loved ones and knowing that we will soon will be reunited with them without the threat of any more wickedness or suffering. Psalm 37:9-11.





Diamond said:

My Dad Passed in 2007 and it is as if it just happened yesterday.  The hope that God gave us is what keeps me full of joy knowing that I will see him again.  I know, he is not suffering.  He is at peace.  He is as if in a deep sleep (Eccl 9:5)  That Hope leaves me with so much comfort.  It is hard to describe - it as if anticipating a big happy re-union.  The loving words of our Heavenly Father - keeps me at peace - knowing that our God can not lie. (Titus 1:2) - knowing that I will see my Dad again in perfect health and sound of mind.  I am looking eagerly forward to that great day!!!

Permalink Reply by Amy Parks on August 14, 2015 at 3:53pm

Hello, my name is Amy, I am 34 years old, married with no children yet and I live in Georgia. 

This is my story...This all starts back to last July 2014. My stepmother was diagnosed with a rare brain cancer, and given three months to live. It was automatically stage 4 cancer. She lived two months after, passing away on September 8th, 2014. We were close, and my father was married to her for 14 years. That was just the start of what would be my year of pain, grief and hell on earth.

Just a month after this, in October 2014, my mother and best friend gets diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it started out stage 3. It progressively got worse, and after her being in and out of the hospital with chemo and radiation for 2 months, she finds out that it didn't do any good, and it was spreading to her lungs, and then it was "downgraded" to stage 4 and they made her a terminal cancer patient, telling her there was nothing else they could do and gave her 3 months to live. After being in hospice care for just a month after the doctors saying that, she passed away on July 30th, 2015 at home. I live in a different state from my family, they are in Virginia while I am in Georgia. I flew down there her last two weeks of life and took care of her, spend time with her, and watched her while she seemed to just fade away little by little. I was lucky to have one last conversation with her saying all we needed to say to each other. She passed away two days after our goodbye conversation. I flew home two days before she died, because I would not of been able to handle seeing her take her last breath and I needed my husband when it happened who wasn't with me at the time. We drove down for the viewing and funeral, and I feel like I was just in a daze, like I was outside of my body watching everything happen, almost like a robot. I came home with a SUV full of my mom's belonging, she left me almost everything in her will. I have all of her memories and heirlooms to pass along if I ever have children which I am thankful for. 

 

Since I have been home, I seem to have days where I just can't cry at all, and other days where all I do is cry all day, and can't stop. My heart feels so heavy and full of pain, like a bowling ball is sitting on my chest. I talked to my mom every day on the phone and not being able to speak to my mother for two weeks now is pure torture. What I would give to hear her voice again, or hear her laugh. I don't know how to move on, and live on without her. I wake up each day and just seem to go through the motions because I have to. She wasn't just my mother but my best friend so I feel like I lost two people in one here.

 

I am now without a mother figure in my life and I am only 34 years old. I feel too young to be having to go through so much loss and pain. I don't have any children either and now I am afraid to because I don't have a mother to help me with my pregnancy and teach me how to be a mother. I am also now the only girl in my family and all I have is my dad and two brothers. We all live in different states, and my only local support is my husband, but he works 6 days a week and long hours. I don't have any friends in person because I do not drive. I don't know who to turn to. I am a christian and I do believe in God but with all of these things happening, my faith has been a bit shaken, and the questions of why God? seem to cross my lips quite a bit. I don't see the bigger picture in all of this. I know they are both in heaven, but I just want them here with me. Why take both of my mom's? 

 

I don't know if I am alone in feeling like this, I hope someone understand where I am coming from. I could use someone to lean on, talk to and some support from someone who knows how I feel and what I am going through. Thank you for reading.

Permalink Reply by dream moon on August 14, 2015 at 4:00pm

dad dies 2012 loss non stopp u cud say

mums gt menry probs on top of few othr 2 

all i ask is did i do anyey thng wong or bad 

Permalink Reply by Carlo Cacioppo on August 14, 2015 at 5:31pm

Hi Amy this is Carlo in Chicago, both my wife Debby and I lost both sets of our parents in the last 10 years and we are only in our 50's. If you want to talk to Debby or myself you can contact us through here on legacy or email us at carlosbella1956@hotmail.com. We also have a page on legacy called, Caregiving For Caregivers. Take care of yourself.

Permalink Reply by Mechelle Long on August 18, 2015 at 11:09am

Revelation 21:4 "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

I look forward to this becoming a reality...

Permalink Reply by Mechelle Long on August 18, 2015 at 11:15am

Death is not a result of anything you did wrong dear. Unfortunately it's something all people, good and bad suffer with... we must keep in mind the hope for those we lose to death.John 5:28, 29

dream moon said:

dad dies 2012 loss non stopp u cud say

mums gt menry probs on top of few othr 2 

all i ask is did i do anyey thng wong or bad 

Permalink Reply by VanessaMc on September 22, 2015 at 3:45pm

I am so very sorry for the loss of your parent.  I too have lost a parent in death and I was able to find comfort in what the bible says.  At Acts 24:15 the bible says that “There is going to be a resurrection.”  This truly brings comfort to me, it brings me freedom from a morbid fear of death, and also it brings me an assurance and a real hope of being reunited with my dead loved ones and I wanted to share this hope with you.  God has resurrected humans in the past and he is eager to do it again and I pray that this message brings you and your family comfort! 

Permalink Reply by Cherish Yuke on July 10, 2016 at 10:47am

Hi,

 I lost my dad on May 26th, 2016 from numerous illnesses, but finally his heart just gave out unfortunately. I am here to try to get some support from people whom have gone through the same thing. While I am happy that he is no longer in pain, especially towards the end, I am dealing with a lot of guilt, regret, and a whole lot of anxiety. I also have chronic lower back and sciactia in my left leg and am very stressed out about my disability money from the job I lost potentially losing next month. Thus, I had already been going through a lot of loss for the past two and a half years, but the loss of my dad has put me over the edge. Just wanted to write to see if anyone out there is possibly feeling the same way or dealing with anything similar. 

 I am sorry for everyone's loss.  

Permalink Reply by Carlo Cacioppo on July 14, 2016 at 7:54am

Hello Cherish, welcome to a place where we all support each other and give comfort as best we can. You have and are still going through a lot. Do you have siblings that are sharing your pain and anxiety or are you going at it alone. Support comes in many different forms, whether its family, friends or people you never met. Consider making a web page dedicated to your dads memory, its easy and very helpful with the healing process. and is free for a year. You can make it permanent at any time. Get back to me if your interested and I can show you my dads I made if you wish. Be well.

Permalink Reply by Cherish Yuke on July 14, 2016 at 9:53am

Hi

Permalink Reply by Molly Hales on August 16, 2016 at 2:41pm

On August 26 it will have been two years since my dad was hit by a car and killed while he was out on a bike ride near his home in upstate New York. August is a hard month-- the quality of the light and the heat and the humidity make me feel like it just happened yesterday. 

I'm a graduate student in Medical Anthropology at UCSF/UC Berkeley, and my dissertation research looks at grieving online. The idea emerged out of the experience of losing my own father. My project specifically explores how accessing sites such as online memorials, Facebook profiles, and digital archives might allow people to feel connected to dead loved ones. If you visit a particular website or sites to connect with a loved one who has passed, please consider participating in my research. To learn more about the project and about participating, please contact me at molly.hales@berkeley.edu 

Permalink Reply by Carlo Cacioppo on August 20, 2016 at 5:54pm

Hi Molly this is Carlo, so so sorry about your pop, continued strength and sympathy coming your way everyday.

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