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Roxy, I understand regret but sometimes I think God intervenes because he never puts more on us than what we can handle. My sister had been moved countless times from facility to facility because of her mental illness and the severity of it. When she passed away I was on my way to see her and I got delayed. It was about a 3 hour trip for me and I decided to detour to my sisters house and we would both go see her the next day. I got the call about 30 min. after I arrived at my sisters and had I went straight there I would have made it. You can never believe the intense anger I felt because I wasn't there. After I worked through that I knew because I had a DNR on her and had so many close calls the year before she died and I went through such anguish each time that the Lord really did intervene and protect me. I still and will always will have regret but I am not angry at myself anymore because I know it was taken out of my hands. I hope this helps you to know that everything about life really is a plan especially birth and death. I included my sisters story just to share that I didn't always think I did the best I could but in the end I know I gave my sister all the love I possibly could and I know she Knew that and I am sure your dad did too. My thoughts are with you. God Bless Stephanie
That's a nice tribute to your sister and thank you for your words. They do give me some comfort to know I'm not the only one that feels like you failed the one you love.

Oh, Sue..

That pretty well sums it up...
Just remember you're not alone..
Hello, I lost my mother 9 days ago. She had been ill for a long tme and I knew this day would be coming. I work for Hospice and know how to help other people deal with the loss of a loved one, but I am feeling very numb and lost right now.
Dear Stacie, Im so sorry for your hugh loss, I too lost my Mom just a couple of weeks ago. I was her caregiver for years. She was ill for years, also we knew the day was coming too.But Im not sure that makes it any easier. I know the LOST feeling. Do you believe in God and Heaven, that's the ONLY thing that keeps me going. We were always very close and I cant believe I wont see or feel her touch anymore,till Heaven. Sheri
Thank you, yes I believe in God and Heaven and my faith is being pushed right now. I like others wonder why she had to suffer for so long, what did she do to deserve that. So I guess besides being numb I am angry today any way.
Hello ... I happened to stumble upon this site. I've never shared the feelings about my loss in an online forum. My dear, dear mother passed away a little more than three years ago, and I still don't want to believe she's gone. We were so much alike ... she was my best friend. A part of me died with her, and I feel like I want to go be with her. I still get so very sad whenever I think about her, but I hope she's in Heaven enjoying everlasting life with God. Sometimes, she comes to me in my dreams ... the dreams are so pleasant, they're never frightening and I'm so glad to see her in my dreams although at some point during my dream, she leaves. Now, I'm alone and lonely. I have relatives, but they're not "family" so I am not close to them at all. I don't have anyone who cares about me, and it makes the loss even more painful. I hope no one else grieves like this because it has taken a toll on me physically, emotionally and psychologically. To all of you who have loss a parent, please grieve like you're supposed to and develop relationships with people who will comfort you in your time of need.
3 years and 5 months have passed since my Father Marco Antonios Death. My dad was murdered on September 13, 2005 at Ybarra Jewelrs in Eastland Plaza. This case is still unsolved and My family and I pray every day that we find the ones who took my dad away from us in such a brutal, horrible, indescribable way. This impacted us so much because my father was the most charismatic, friendly, down to earth family man you would of ever met. We think about him every single day, not a day goes by we dont ask ourselves, why? why? why? We were such a close family and now our chain has been broken. He left behind 4 children, my mother who they were married for 30 years and 2 granchildren, one that he only got to meet and enjoy for 9 months before his life was taken. As I'm typing this tears are running and it's just unbeleivable that my dad is GONE. It's so hard for any of us to continue living life especially my mother who lost her life partner and other half. We all lost a part of him. We no longer have a father to mentor us, guide us through life, our long conversations, the laughs, sunday barbeques, father to child talks, our vacation trips, his warm hugs, his incredible smile and laugh, and his immensive talents he had with music. We look at pictures everyday throughout the house. we look at his clothes, his music, his belongings, his car, and it tears me apart. I was daddys little girl and I have so many emotions running through my head. I dont share my feelings with "ANYONE" sometimes with my mother, but it's so hard for me to open out to anyone. There is a quote that I found on the internet "Silence is medication for sorrow." Another quote is " “If you murder an innocent man you are responsible
for the blood of his unborn descendants, and the weight of this responsibility is yours to carry to the end of time” There is so many incredible memories we all had with our dad,he's on my mind 24/7. Just having the image in my head over and over of how he died, what were his last thoughts as this was happening, how he suffered, how I wish I could of been there to defend him, how this could of been prevented, why kill innocent people? I always hope he just walks in through that door like he used to. There is no support, comfort, inspiration that will ever heal this pain we have. The only comfort we have is eachother and my beautiful nieces.I try to help my mother out in anything sh needs help with, financial, just listenting t o her, taking care of the house, etc. All we want is closure in our family knowing who killed my father. Sometimes I dont even want to get out of bed and don't care about anything. No one truly understands the pain until it happens to someone. And with the matter of how close you were to your loved one. I beleive that any cause of death is painful and depressing to those that still live. But knowing someone took your dads life away and him not coming home from work is the most horrific nightmare you want to wake up from but you cant. All I ask from you people is if anyone has any information to anything please contact the Stockton Police. Calls remain anonymous. God bless.
Julianne you look so young. The reason I say this is because of your comment about having trouble remembering your mom. That is a huge fear of mine because in the last 10 years I have lost my entire mothers side of the family that raised me. My grandma who was my "glue" my uncle, my aunt and my mother on 12/14/08. I feel so alone and what saddens me the most is I have a 3 year old daughter who will not know my family, but only by pictures and stories. This cuts me to my heart. I hope your siblings will be blesses enough to be old enough to remember their mother. I am so sorry she has passed.
All my wishes with all of you.
Here's my story:
I lost my Dad a month ago yesterday. He died of lung cancer, and when I found out that he was diagnosed with it, I was angry. Dad had never smoked in his life, so it didn't seem fair that he had it when he was a healthy man and some other person that chain smokes lives right up to 100.
Yesterday we had a memorial for him, which was really hard because I was just coming to terms with him not being with me to see me grow up. Being only 16, it means he doesn't get to see me grow up.
I sang at the memorial, and was glad that I did, Dad was always awed by my voice, he sang himself, but said my voice was like an Angels.
Writing this brings tears to my eyes, and I doubt that I will ever really get over losing my daddy. Some days I am fine, feeling him next to me. Other days I am just so depressed I can't even bring myself to get out of bed.
Time makes things better though,
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