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I lost my mom a little over two months ago to septicemia. She went into the hospital with what she thought was simply walking pneumonia, and was dead less than 48 hrs later. The shock of this is still wearing off, but the longer her absence, the more real it all feels. I have two younger siblings, and an older sister who is physically disabled. My dad has been the one keeping us all going. I have no idea what we would do without him.

There are moments, hours, and even days, where I feel like I can't go on. But you do, because you have no other choice. At times I feel like I can't even remember my mom clearly, everything just seems like a fog. And I hate that more than anyhting, because I just want to picture her and be able to imagine her voice.

It's so difficult not having anyone outside of your family who can relate. Friends don't know what to say or do. And unfortunately my family is new to the area, so my nearest friends are a mere 2 hrs away. I definitely find it helpful reading forums such as these, and hopefully some people will add to this particular section.
Julianne, I'm sorry for your loss. What a horrible tragedy for you and your family. I can't imagine your anguish, but I do believe that you will not always feel exactly the way you do now. Of course, you feel like you're in a fog now. You are in the immediate aftermath of losing your mom, such a terrible experience. I believe there will be moments when the fog lifts and you are able to see and hear your mom so clearly, and know that she's watching over you.
Thank you for responding. I really appreciate your words. Julianne
Hello there, Its so much more different when , for the lack of a better phrase, a planned or expected illness occurs to a parent. But when you had no idea just how traumatic this was going to turn out, I mean my god,........ how can this mis- diagnosis have happened?..............I sincerely feel for you and your family. Just after I moved to california in 2002, my dad was forgetting alot more than usual, he, started seeing children running through the house on motorcycles and sitting on his bed wanting to talk to him, developed stage 4 alzheimers, and then parkinsons disease all within 6 months after I left. I often still blame myself to this day for leaving him, that somehow I was responsible for all this so fast right after I left. I had no plane fare to get back to chicago to see him until 2004. I saw him in the hospital and I truly thought he was going to kick the hell out of these illnesses. I flew back to california to go back to work and right away got another call that was tubed and in a coma. I drove as fast as I could back to chicago for I maxed out all the credit cards to make the first plane trip. He woke up after we walked in the room to mumble, "hi my son". I stayed at his bedside in intensive care for 4 straight days and had to leave again. He passed shortly thereafter from septicemia. Always know that others are as close as your keyboard, phone, email or snail mail. My prayers are for your mom, dad, and all of who are trying to cope. Stay strong and let me know if you need anything at all anytime day or night. Carl
Well Julianne i do to know what it means to lose someone so so close too...You are so right that as time goes on the stronger the feelings are,nevertheless we have to be strong for ourselves as well as for our family..No doubt the family is counting on you...One thing you have going for you is your dad, he seems like he;s the glue holding it all together,and that's is what you need ....So thanks goes out to him.....But one last thing i want to say is "Prayer" Helps so so much....and pretty soon we will see our loved one's soon through our hope of a Ressurection ...That soon will be upon us....and how joyous that will be...........
Hi there,my name is Terri and I lost my Dad in march and now I am losing my Mom from lung disease.Her health has gone down since my dads death from dementia.I am feeling every emotion you can imagine.I am so glad that I asked God to come into my life a few years ago,or I know that I would have completly lost it.I never beleived in God till I had an incredible experience in my life that changed who I was and turned me into who I have became.If we beleive that they are in a awsome place that is promised to us we can carry on and wait for our time to meet again.Go and watch the sunrise,or a sunset and youll be reminded of what a gift life really is,amen.Terri
Juliaane, I feel your pain. We just layed my Mom to rest yesterday. She has been very ill for a long time,I have been her caretaker for years. She is also MY BEST FRIEND!!. I dont even know where to begin, I feel so lost. I too am having a hard time remembering,It feels like a fog,a movie or something happening that I am participating in, BUT NOT REALLY. HELP, the pain is so fresh this morning. Sheri
Hi Sheri..
I know how you feel. Our Mom passed away on Dec 8th, and I still feel lost.. You will just need time to digest all of this. I am truly sorry for your loss, and know that we all know how you feel, and if you need an ear then please write.. Yes, it's going to feel fresh for a long time..
But with all the help we will all feel better soon..
David mourned the loss of his murdered son Amnon. In fact, he “wept with a very great weeping.” He even grieved at the loss of his treacherous son Absalom, who had tried to usurp the kingship. “Then [David] the king became disturbed and went up to the roof chamber over the gateway and gave way to weeping........SO RITA ....i TRUELY DO UNDERSTAND THE LOSS OF A LOVE ONE...MY BROTHER WHO I TRUELY LOVED SO MUCH...HAS LEFT ME......BUT I KNOW SOON WE WILL SEE HIM AGAIN......WRITE IF YOU WANT TO TALK....
Thank You Rita, I'm so glad I found this website, I dont feel so alone. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I do believe that with the help of this site, we will all feel better. Thanks again, Sheri
Hi Sheri..

Glad you took the time to write. Hope you are feeling better today.. It will come in baby steps. I still cry everyday, and sometimes twice.. I just want to talk to Mom one more time, but i guess we will have to wait for now until we are once again reunited. That's what keeps me going, but I must admit I haven't been praying lately.. I guess I'm still upset and right now I have more questions then answers.
Anyway, you hang in there.. Write when you like and if you prefer I can give you my email address and we can chat there..
Thanks, and hope to hear from you again.
Hi Sheri,
I am sorry for your pain. I can relate to what you are saying. My mom passed away 4 years ago and she was my best friend. After she died, something was ripped out of my heart. I felt as if there was a hollow hole where my heart used to be. After 4 years, I still miss my mother everyday, but I know she would want me to go on and live the best life that I can. Your pain is very new yet. I remember that "fog". I would wake up so many mornings wondering if it really happened or if I was living through a long nightmare. Once again, my deepest sympathy. Julie.


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