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Pauline,

So happy to hear from you. I am glad that you are moving forward as I know that it is not easy. Thank you for you supportive words, my dad was what I refer to as my heart song. My Bruno was my soulmate, but my daddy was my heart song and I miss him so. It still is not better it never will be but life does go on and I learned that the hard way. All my love Pauline.

Pauline said:
Hello Lisa.....like you it has been a while since I have been back on here and we were both here almost the same time it will be 2 years January for me also. I am so sorry to hear you lost your father your mum is lucky you are there for her and you will be understanding exactly what she is going through. Graham and I were soulmates so losing him was the worst part of my life I dont ever want to go through again - even though we knew our time together was limited we made the most of it...Life has been lonely but it goes on for those of us left ... my life has changed dramatically I have become a stronger person, moved to Australia for good, got myself an awesome job and getting on with it. I went back to NZ for 3 months and it was hard it just felt I couldnt move forward - our children, our memories - all too painful to cope with...so when I was offered my current job I jumped at the opportunity and dont regret my decision...I know Graham would be proud of where I am today and always feel his love and blessings on everything I decide or do...it sounds strange yes but I do feel good about it. I have also been seeing someone it has been hard to move forward in this area but I have learnt to slowly pull down the brick wall one brick at a time to let someone into my heart that wants to love me for who I am and I have learnt not to try and even compare him because no one will ever replace or be my Grammy and my man knows that...
Grief is such a cruel lesson in life - some of us can deal with it some of us just take a little longer...to everyone out there we all deal with lifes lessons our own way - do it in your time - take your time - things will happen for a reason and they will happen when they are ready...take one day at a time..Love to all of you and to my friends who were there when I first found this website I do hope you are all well..Love you all ...take care xxxx Pauline
Pauline,

So happy to hear from you. I am glad that you are moving forward as I know that it is not easy. Thank you for you supportive words, my dad was what I refer to as my heart song. My Bruno was my soulmate, but my daddy was my heart song and I miss him so. It still is not better it never will be but life does go on and I learned that the hard way. All my love Pauline.

Pauline said:
Hello Lisa.....like you it has been a while since I have been back on here and we were both here almost the same time it will be 2 years January for me also. I am so sorry to hear you lost your father your mum is lucky you are there for her and you will be understanding exactly what she is going through. Graham and I were soulmates so losing him was the worst part of my life I dont ever want to go through again - even though we knew our time together was limited we made the most of it...Life has been lonely but it goes on for those of us left ... my life has changed dramatically I have become a stronger person, moved to Australia for good, got myself an awesome job and getting on with it. I went back to NZ for 3 months and it was hard it just felt I couldnt move forward - our children, our memories - all too painful to cope with...so when I was offered my current job I jumped at the opportunity and dont regret my decision...I know Graham would be proud of where I am today and always feel his love and blessings on everything I decide or do...it sounds strange yes but I do feel good about it. I have also been seeing someone it has been hard to move forward in this area but I have learnt to slowly pull down the brick wall one brick at a time to let someone into my heart that wants to love me for who I am and I have learnt not to try and even compare him because no one will ever replace or be my Grammy and my man knows that...
Grief is such a cruel lesson in life - some of us can deal with it some of us just take a little longer...to everyone out there we all deal with lifes lessons our own way - do it in your time - take your time - things will happen for a reason and they will happen when they are ready...take one day at a time..Love to all of you and to my friends who were there when I first found this website I do hope you are all well..Love you all ...take care xxxx Pauline
Thanks again Lisa. I truely hope you can be in a happy, loving relationship. Hearing about your good fortune makes me feel better. I loved Larry & he loved me. We were really looking forward to growing old together. He used to say we were soul mates & I would pick at him & act like that was a lame term from the past, but he knew it! He would want me to feel safe & happy with a good man one day just as I would want him to find someone that would be good to him. I really hope that I will become comfortable & confident in being alone because I really don't like the thought of entering into another relationship, or dating & especially terrified at finding Mr. Wrong!

I hope you are doing better.  I won't say well, because I still am not sure if that ever happens.  May 8, 2008 was the day I lost my husband of 42 years!  I still cannot believe it.  I think back and wonder how I got this far. He was my world..we were together since I was 16 years old. I feel so guilty that I  was not there.  It was Mother's Day and I was in Florida still and he had gone to Maine to go fishing.  I was to  arrive in Maine on May 14th.  I thought my daughter was calling to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. I don't know if I will ever feel right again.


My sister also passed away that year, just 4 days before my husband.

 

Just had to vent a little and say  how much I do understand what you are feeling.

Hope you are doing ok.

Donna 
BarryWHK said:

On May 8th, 2008, it will be the one year anniversary for the loss of my life partner, of 22 years, Robert Kopler. I cannot believe so much time has passed, and so quickly it seems. I dread the forthcoming days as my emotions to take over. The anniversary of the loss of my Mother was December 25, 2007. Needless to say, this past year has been extremely difficult, losing the two most important people in my life within 5 months of each other. Nothing makes any sense anymore, as hard as I try.
I was reluctant to join this forum because these losses are so painful to keep bringing up, but I decided that it may be beneficial and I decided to share our story. I worked on a dedication website to Robert and my Mom, if you are interested in a little more insight. Please share the site if you find it beneficial and please leave comments. Thank you. Barry.

www.harnamjikopler.com

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. 

Thanks for your kind words.  I'm still here but I can't say I'm too much better.  There are so many questions still unanswered and I may never find the answers. 

I'm sorry for your losses. 

I'm sorry all of our losses. 

This holiday season has been more difficult for me and I'll be glad when it's over.

I wish you all the best.


Barry

Hi Barry,

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I will not say "I know how you feel", because truthfully, I dont.  No two individuals grieve the same or for the same amount of time. Eight years ago I lost my dear wife of 20 years, then 4 years later, my son only 22 yrs old. Sometimes even now the pain seems still fresh. Gradually I am learning to put my life back together. While one can"t and wouldn"t even want to forget a lost loved one, gradually time and positive thoughts are helping me to heal. Some thoughts that were shared with me have helped greatly and hopefully will help you also.  Just knowing that God knows of and feels my loss, the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 10, verse 29 assures me that " not even one sparrow falls to the ground" without him knowing of it. Therefore I know without a doubt that he is aware of and cares about my loss. 2 Corinthians chapter 1, verses 3,4 calls him the "God of all comfort and he comforts us in all our tribulation". I have surely needed and relied on that comfort on a daily basis. That comfort comes from a scripture found at John, chapter 5, verses 25-29 shared with me showing that I could see my wife and son again in the resurrection that is promised there. That thought daily renews me and gives me the hope and strength to continue.
BarryWHK said:

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. 

Thanks for your kind words.  I'm still here but I can't say I'm too much better.  There are so many questions still unanswered and I may never find the answers. 

I'm sorry for your losses. 

I'm sorry all of our losses. 

This holiday season has been more difficult for me and I'll be glad when it's over.

I wish you all the best.


Barry



Jim Arnold said:

Hi Barry,

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I will not say "I know how you feel", because truthfully, I dont.  No two individuals grieve the same or for the same amount of time. Eight years ago I lost my dear wife of 20 years, then 4 years later, my son only 22 yrs old. Sometimes even now the pain seems still fresh. Gradually I am learning to put my life back together. While one can"t and wouldn"t even want to forget a lost loved one, gradually time and positive thoughts are helping me to heal. Some thoughts that were shared with me have helped greatly and hopefully will help you also.  Just knowing that God knows of and feels my loss, the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 10, verse 29 assures me that " not even one sparrow falls to the ground" without him knowing of it. Therefore I know without a doubt that he is aware of and cares about my loss. 2 Corinthians chapter 1, verses 3,4 calls him the "God of all comfort and he comforts us in all our tribulation". I have surely needed and relied on that comfort on a daily basis. That comfort comes from a scripture found at John, chapter 5, verses 25-29 shared with me showing that I could see my wife and son again in the resurrection that is promised there. That thought daily renews me and gives me the hope and strength to continue.
BarryWHK said:

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. 

Thanks for your kind words.  I'm still here but I can't say I'm too much better.  There are so many questions still unanswered and I may never find the answers. 

I'm sorry for your losses. 

I'm sorry all of our losses. 

This holiday season has been more difficult for me and I'll be glad when it's over.

I wish you all the best.


Barry

This my first time on this discussion chat. I lost my husband 4 months ago and it's been hell for me to stay strong, but I know it's to soon,but it's hard, I cry every night can not sleep. My husband has been sick for awhile, but this was sudden.  We had just buried his son(from another marriage) that morning on Nov. 15th and just cleaning up from the lunchoen when I got the phone call the Russell(husband) had died. Our daughter(10) is my strength. She is the strong one she been through alot.

I was just getting some closer over the brutal death of my niece over 2 years ago when this happen. My niece(Krystal) was the Rugter student that back in 2008 was brutally murder by her crazy boyfriend(in prision for life).  Russell and I been married for 15 years.  I left my job last year to take care of him right up until the day he passed.

GOD BLESS ALL

Karlene from Philly

This is my first time on this discussion. I also lost my husband and best friend of 22 years to lung cancer on March 19,2011.It has been hell for me to go on.I really don't know how to go on without him.He had a year long fight with lung cancer and died a year to date.He tolerated the treatments in the begining and was responding well.In the summer of 2010 he went for radiation and no more chemo for a while.At the end of radiation they found the cancer had grown again.He got so sick .I was with him every minute trying to make his days as comfortable as i could.In january he started getting worse.He went in to the hospital on March 14 and on the 16th I took him home so he could pass quietly surrounded by our family.On the early hours of march 19 th i dozed for about 10 min.In that time I saw him leave me and awoke.He sat straight up ,even through the morphine and huged me for the last time .He whispered he loved me.As i slipped his wedding ring  back on his finger he slipped away.I have not been the same since. My life doesn't seem to have meaning without him.How do we fill the lonliness and the void that has been left.my family is wonderful but it isn't the same.I feel so lost and incomplete.He completed me .At times I don't know why I get up to face a new day.I miss my love so much It is almost unbearable.I find myself crying all the time .I am trying to cope but don't know how.

karlene sharples said:

This my first time on this discussion chat. I lost my husband 4 months ago and it's been hell for me to stay strong, but I know it's to soon,but it's hard, I cry every night can not sleep. My husband has been sick for awhile, but this was sudden.  We had just buried his son(from another marriage) that morning on Nov. 15th and just cleaning up from the lunchoen when I got the phone call the Russell(husband) had died. Our daughter(10) is my strength. She is the strong one she been through alot.

I was just getting some closer over the brutal death of my niece over 2 years ago when this happen. My niece(Krystal) was the Rugter student that back in 2008 was brutally murder by her crazy boyfriend(in prision for life).  Russell and I been married for 15 years.  I left my job last year to take care of him right up until the day he passed.

GOD BLESS ALL

Karlene from Philly

i am new to this...and to everyone one who has lost their partner i am so sorry for your loss,and i know what you are going through.

i lost my fiance{Ed Mochack Jr} on april 21 2011 and these past 3 months have been an emotional rollercoaster!

we were together for 5 years engaged for 5 years as well..dont know why we never married i guess we were just happy like we were.

he was a heavy drinker,the past year it got worse,his mom passed away he lost his job but his health wasnt the best either he had chrons disease and the drinking didnt help and he was only 39 years old never got to see 40,we didnt have no kids.

i guess i just miss him soooo much...his laughter,smile,and his knowledge of nascar and music

but at least he comes and visits me in my dreams

Hello, my name is Jeanna and I have been reading the posts of everyone who has lost someone.  I am truly sorry for your loss and I know how you feel.  On June 18, 2011,  my husband  of 10  years died from septic shock.  He had recently been diagnosed with liver disease, and had been having symptoms for only 6 months.  We had just moved to a warmer climate(my husband hated the cold) so I could work at my dream job.  We were in the process of buying our first home, which would have been the nicest we had ever lived in.  He was so happy.  The day after we moved he was in the hospital and in and out of the hospital for 3 weeks before he died.  It has only been less than 6 weeks, and I still am in shock and cannot believe that he is gone.  It is so hard, I don't know how to go on without him. He was everything to me and made me who I am and made me a better and stronger person.  I feel so lost without him.  And to top it off, I did not end up buying that house, I live in an RV at my sisters, and I am trying to get transferred to a job where I can be near family and where he is buried.  It all just seems so pointless, there really is no reason to get up in the morning.  I have been to therapist but it doesn't help.  I have pictures everywhere, but it just seems like something is missing and I cannot find it.  I am sorry for going on and on.  I know there are people suffering loss everyday.  My husband is buried in a national cemetary and everytime I go there, I see so many people, and they have 30-40 services a day.  I just hope that someday the pain goes away, but I know it won't.  He was such a great person. He taught CPR, and first aid, and first responder classes, and volunteered for the fire department.  I just don't understand any of it.

I just posted my husband's obituary from October 26, 2011 and it makes it all so final.  I am in tears.  47 years of marriage and he is gone.  I am so sad.  I pray God takes care of him and his journey is peaceful.  I know my job down here isn's finished, but I would have gladly changed places with him.  He could have handled the grief, I can't.  Love and hugs to all out there who are dealing with a loss of a loved one.

 

Sue

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