When a spouse or partner dies

Grief support: Share your story and learn from others about coping with the loss of a life partner.

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Permalink Reply by Hallie on June 14, 2013 at 6:32am

In pain, Barry, there is also healing and I think facing our fears, our pain is sometimes the best way to move forward. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and your partner.

Permalink Reply by heartbrokenintexas on June 27, 2013 at 2:17pm

I'm praying for everyone.
My mom , husband & son all passed within a 4 year period. Both my son & husband passed quickly & unexpected.
It's almost 4 years since my son passed. It's still hard I miss them so much & want to be with them again. I fight the pain & tears daily. It's so hard & lonely.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Wilkins on July 12, 2013 at 9:03am

dear hearbrokenintexas, John 5:28, 29 and Isaiah 25:8 was a great help when I lost my grandmother. In the Bible God promises that we will see our dead loved ones again, not in the horrible world we live in now where they can get sick and suffer again, but in a world full of joy and happiness. Psalms 37:10, 11; Isaiah 33:24. I look forward to the day where I can hug her again. Jehovah God's promises helped me so much in dealing with my grief. I hope it helps you also. I will keep you in my prayers for the strengh to go on.

Jennifer

heartbrokenintexas said:

I'm praying for everyone.
My mom , husband & son all passed within a 4 year period. Both my son & husband passed quickly & unexpected.
It's almost 4 years since my son passed. It's still hard I miss them so much & want to be with them again. I fight the pain & tears daily. It's so hard & lonely.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Wilkins on July 12, 2013 at 9:13am

Beth, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband, and the money issues you have to deal with. I hope with the passage of time things have gotten a little better for you. I just wanted to share a hope from the Bible with you that helped me continue dealing with the death of my grandmother, who was like my mother. It's at Isaiah 25:8. Jehovah God promises that soon we won't have to watch our loves ones suffer and die. He also promised that we will see them again John 5:28, 29.

I will keep you in my prayers for the strengh to go on.

beth martin said:

I lost my husband 8 wks ago still waiting for the tox report and can't collect life ins without it living on savings and it will run out soon. To have all the pain from losing him and then to have money probs just compounds the issue. I feel lost without him like I'm navigating this life solo, wait I am and it sucks. I hope time helps because nothing does right now

Permalink Reply by Cynthia Murphy on January 9, 2014 at 6:40pm

I lost my husband this past Thanksgiving and although it was expected, it happened sooner than it was supposed to. This is such a different type of life. I can't complete a task, a sentence or thought. I am getting behind on laundry and washing dishes. One of the policies I had paid off during the holidays. I am worried more about my mental health than anything. I need a group to go to but the only one I found so far is at the hospital where he was declared gone. I am tired of these crazy feelings and thoughts. I am not bouncing back like I hoped I would. Oh God, I need help.

Jennifer Wilkins said:

Beth, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband, and the money issues you have to deal with. I hope with the passage of time things have gotten a little better for you. I just wanted to share a hope from the Bible with you that helped me continue dealing with the death of my grandmother, who was like my mother. It's at Isaiah 25:8. Jehovah God promises that soon we won't have to watch our loves ones suffer and die. He also promised that we will see them again John 5:28, 29.

I will keep you in my prayers for the strengh to go on.

beth martin said:

I lost my husband 8 wks ago still waiting for the tox report and can't collect life ins without it living on savings and it will run out soon. To have all the pain from losing him and then to have money probs just compounds the issue. I feel lost without him like I'm navigating this life solo, wait I am and it sucks. I hope time helps because nothing does right now

Permalink Reply by John J Koons on January 9, 2014 at 9:25pm

Cynthia, give yourself a break!!! OMG, it was only last Thanksgiving! Take it at your own paste but always bear in mind that you WILL survive this. After my loss, my house turned into a veritable "Grey Gardens" for about a year, maybe more. You WILL get past the point of wanting things to be the same after you understand that life will NEVER be the same. What you HAVE to see, however, is that your husband would want you to go on. The turning point for me was when I started viewing this as a new chapter in MY life. I'm fifty-years-old and, yes, I am single after losing my husband to cancer two Summers ago. I believe I will see him again and I do NOT want to answer to him when he's all pissed off that I wasted the rest of my life mourning him. If I fall in love again (something you're probably not even considering at this point), then great. If not, I had love and it still lives in me. There are SO many other wonderful aspects to life than love. I just got back from an island off of Mexico not two hours ago and it was incredible! I enjoyed every minute of it both for the both of us and I do not feel I was alone. Yes, I'd give anything for just one hour to be in his physical presence again. NO ONE has EVER loved me more than that beautiful creature did ... and still does. My faith lies in my study of quantum physics which holds solid proof that God exists and that my husband still exists, as well. Yes, I grew up Catholic but that just wasn't cutting it for me. But now, I KNOW I will see him again and I don't know how much time I have left but I am living all of it knowing I have been blessed and am eager to enjoy every minute of life as each minute presents itself to me.
So grieve. Get it out so you can start celebrating the life you had and the life that's yet to come. My heart aches for you but I know you will get through this and we're all here to support you and cheer you on when you do. XO

Permalink Reply by Eva Wyatt on May 19, 2014 at 6:41pm

Beth, I hope by now that things have resolved themselves financially for you. I am going through the same thing right now. My husband died 2 weeks ago and I am scared to pieces about making it until the insurance comes through. He was the main breadwinner, I am a substitute teacher and missed most of the month of work with his health plus it is the end of the school year. I literally have no income after his last check next week.

And the bank says anything that comes in should go in a special account for his estate so what am I supposed to do? How do I pay the bills, eat, pay for medicine (oh, yeah, lost the insurance as well)? Plus he didn't have a will, I guess he was afraid that if he signed one he would die. Well, that happened anyway. I don't even want to think about the medical bills from the last year of cancer treatments and hospital visits.

I don't know what to do.

And (Beth, this is not aimed at you) please DON'T quote the bible at me.

beth martin said:

I lost my husband 8 wks ago still waiting for the tox report and can't collect life ins without it living on savings and it will run out soon. To have all the pain from losing him and then to have money probs just compounds the issue. I feel lost without him like I'm navigating this life solo, wait I am and it sucks. I hope time helps because nothing does right now

Permalink Reply by Eva Wyatt on May 19, 2014 at 6:48pm

My husband died 2 weeks ago and I am scared to pieces about making it until the insurance comes through. He was the main breadwinner, I am a substitute teacher and missed most of the month of work with his health plus it is the end of the school year. I literally have no income after his last check next week.

I don't know what to do. Can I deposit his last paycheck? Pay the bills? What is listed as assets for probate? What about the house that is jointly owned?