Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by rusty phelps on April 21, 2011 at 10:20am

my story life  begins 7 years ago my mom had a very bad stroke left her in a wheelchair and total care  my dad didnt want her in a nursing home so he took her home to take care of his wife with help of me and my sister 4 years into to this my dad had got sick men dont always listen to anybody i wish him to go to hospital earlier then he finally did he went on a friday and was worried about my mom meds so bad that i told him i can read the bottle little did i know he wouldnt come home again he paassed away 2 days later so that was very difficult to tell my mom who was very confused from the stroke that daddy is in heaven she and i missed him dearly he was our rock a year to the day he went to the hospital my niece called me to tell me my brother  my big brother had passed away he was from the south and mom was still not in good health to bring her or tell her that her son had passed away but mothers intuition i feel she knew something had happen so between the ups and downs of my mothers health and dr visits  little did i know that my mother was going to die to we went to hospital cuz i notice she didnt look well so i call my daughter home to help me bring her to hospital thinking its gonna be a all day event for us or until my sister got out of work but 1 hour we were there and we seen her pass away in front of our eyes  so here i am lost and missing them all and i do know they are all together now and are looking down on us

Permalink Reply by Stefanie Abdo on April 21, 2011 at 8:43pm

That is an awful thing you had to experience. We watched my brother slowly slip away from brain cancer which was terrible to see. But the way we seen my dad pass was just so heartbreaking. We ended up having to take him off the breathing machine. I often wonder why we have to go through such pain in our lives but try not to question  Gods plan to much. I just try to keep the good memories we had in my thoughts daily and that helps me get through the day. I love and miss both of them dearly. I am so sorry what you had to experience with your loved ones and hope you are finding some kind of peace. May God Bless You and Your Family!!!

Permalink Reply by Don DeVault on April 23, 2011 at 10:56am

Im sorry for your pain, I know how your feeling, We had to take my brother off and to just set there and wait was the worst. To this day i think it was bad but we had no other choice,He was tired and he couldnt breath on his own anymore.4-18 was 5 months since Kenny passed and the last 3 days ive been crying everyday all day and i cant stop. I miss him more than words can say and tomorrow is easter,What and How im i going to be or feel.I dont want to be around No one.Talk to no one. I really feel 90% of me passed on when Kenny passed away. I hope this doesnt have to happen to you or anyone.Loseing a brother or a sister is way more worst than i couldv ever thought it be. I wish the hurt would go away sometimes.I know our loved ones would Not want this for us. God Bless and im here if Anyone wants to talk. Sometimes it takes other then Family to talk to.. Take care.. Don

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on April 24, 2011 at 4:27am

 To each please know that you are thought of always and cared about . As you have given to me more then you will know in these last months . If only to show that Love and the one we were so blessed to share it with was what was important in life .

As they were what made life what it was and we were blessed with to have .

 

May Blessing continue to come to each as this love you have within you heart is what tells you that you are loved and will be forever by those you had a chance to share time with, and still love .

As this love for each of us does end .. as for me it seems to grow each day even that they are now away.    My family will forever be in my heart  

 

May the grace of each day be one of comfort to each and the peace all may need .

 

You each have shown me something I started to worry no longer existed , a love that was beyond the walls of self , a love that transcended to those you had in you lives ...  A love they I can only imagine they all felt so blessed with too .

 

Blessing come in many ways..

 

I had mine in having the family I had but for a short time in life  a love  that will   last a life time  

Permalink Reply by Celia Costanzo on April 25, 2011 at 10:51pm

My 16 year old daughter was murdered on March 3, 2011.  I came to this site looking for help in coping.  I havent been able to deal well with this.  I seem to have found a front to put on in public and with my other children to make it look like I am ok.  But in truth I feel like I am dieing inside.  Wanting to find the "me" in this body again.  I dont know who to turn to or how to get myself back to normal.  if there is such a thing

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on April 26, 2011 at 2:24am

Dear Celia Costanzo,

I  truly am sorry for the loss of your daughter .  The love you have continues on having to share such a difficult and pain time in your life . One that I pray and wish you and your family any comfort that you can find . 

 Sometime we all need a place to come where others will truly listen and understand , and you will find this here , believe me I have from so many in the loss of my family . A place I guess if not for anyone else but yourself to say that your love for her carries on each and everyday . 

 

 Please take care  

Celia Costanzo said:

My 16 year old daughter was murdered on March 3, 2011.  I came to this site looking for help in coping.  I haven't been able to deal well with this.  I seem to have found a front to put on in public and with my other children to make it look like I am ok.  But in truth I feel like I am dieing inside.  Wanting to find the "me" in this body again.  I dint know who to turn to or how to get myself back to normal.  if there is such a thing

Permalink Reply by Stefanie Abdo on April 26, 2011 at 6:21pm

I aqm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I have a 16 year old son, and I could not even imagine losing him. I hope God comforts you and you can find some peace. I do understand that you have to smile and act happy infront of people and other family members. Some days I am just bursting inside and have no one to explain it to. My husband doesnt understand or my children. I dont want to cry to my mom who is grieving herself. So this website does help to get it all out. Keep your faith and God Bless You!!!

Permalink Reply by Celia Costanzo on April 28, 2011 at 2:13am

Thank you it is so nice to actually finally find people who understand what I mean !

Stefanie Abdo said:

I aqm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I have a 16 year old son, and I could not even imagine losing him. I hope God comforts you and you can find some peace. I do understand that you have to smile and act happy infront of people and other family members. Some days I am just bursting inside and have no one to explain it to. My husband doesnt understand or my children. I dont want to cry to my mom who is grieving herself. So this website does help to get it all out. Keep your faith and God Bless You!!!

Permalink Reply by Celia Costanzo on April 28, 2011 at 2:28am

Thank you to everyone who responded so quickly.  I guess I have found a safe place now!  It so helps.  The other day the parents of the kid who murdered Mickie came by to deliver an easter basket that someone had left at my old place to me.  When they were at my house the kid called them from jail.  He wanted to talk to me and I froze...I said I would and all he said is that I am in his prayers and he didnt know what to say.  What the hell that was dumb.....how about I am sorry how about why.  I couldnt even ask him any questions I just froze.  I guess I blew my chance.  Her birthday is May 3rd....some of her friends want a birthday party for her....I think I am strong enuf to do that.  Her favorite color was lime green so I am going to look for balloons that color and after having cake let the balloons go.....I didnt handle Easter well but maybe this will be what I need to get thru her bday.  I just know that I have such hatred for the kid who killed her....I am trying to not take it out on his parents because they are not responsible for his actions and they were friends of mine as well as my apt managers.  It is so hard.

Permalink Reply by nikki berwick on May 24, 2011 at 6:10pm

so sorry for your loss..i could not ever imagine loosing a child..ive had 8 bereavments in the last year and half and still finding it very hard to cope with them all..a day at a time ,i see a grief counciler also.

 

as the deadra browns comment....well you have alot off faith .but i think its alot off rubbish and not someone who is griefing for there child really wants to hear.and neither do i to be honest.! where is the comfort in that ?

Permalink Reply by diane weigle on July 14, 2011 at 2:08pm

In June of 2009 i lost someone who was and still is very close to me. That  person is my older brother Nicky. I still miss him to this  day.  And i  really  don't  know  how  to  cope with it.  He  was  sick for  a  couple of months and then he got  worse.  And  he passed  away.   Well thank  you  everyone for your time and attention.

 

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on July 15, 2011 at 3:20am

Time now as my 3 beautiful and loving family members some how slipped through my fingers is passing as quick . Yet not , if that makes any sense ?? . My Father /Mother /Sister all passed away separate yet close together as though they some how needed to be together . Tears can not be described in how many or how much they can fill a room at times nor can they be seen by others as they are not often shown or even noticed . I still hold each day that they left as if it were today . As I will hold the many years though short as the memories of love a blessing they left behind .
Grief is may just be the worst dies their is ,a cure that will never be quit accomplished as we will all someday have to face this more then we ever will want to or thought we could .Yet here we are some how alone , not lonely at least not I for I could not have had any one person in each that filled my heart as the three that I had been blessed with . Three who allowed me to love them ,without having the boundaries that so many build these days or conditions that no one could ever meet . The conditions that pull you outside of who you were meant to be . Good messy or not so perfect . My parents and sister accepted me just for who I was. Wishing now I could have given back more in the time that slipped through my fingers then as now so to tell them how grateful I was for each of them for who they where in life and to me . To do and be more for them .If not to be of pure love like they were .
Possibly this is why they all 3 had to leave . Angels now in heaven . In peace where they belong . Having done what they were born to do . ?? I will never know they seemed to leave way before their time . Yet what is time when you do not even notice that you have it in your hands to care for rather then to just let it slip through you fingers like I have .
I guess to say I miss them more each day .More then my words used to say when they were here , now my feelings have taught me what a true blessing I had .A blessing of love now I will hold in my heart forever . Which is so like them .Always making sure I was ok , and giving of who they were .

To all Please take in this time . Listen to your heart and your memories this just may be the one you love so much speaking to you to let you know they are ok and want you to be the same.

Time a blessing we are given to care for not for us to just see it tic on by . If it was as easy to do as said . Maybe when I stop looking at the clock and just stepping to the cadence of the tic of the clock I will then move forward with them in my heart to carry me where ever I go . Somewhat like on the wings of the Angels above .


Blessing to each of you in the journey ahead.

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