I know what you mean about the holiday's. I am really dreading them! My husband died March 7, 2009, but sometimes it feels like yesterday. Lately I have been crying more. Maybe the thought of the holidays, plus December 1, is our anniversary. We would have been married 30 years, this year. He was so upset last year when he couldn't go shopping for a gift. We went out for dinner, but he was so sick then (pancreatic cancer) he couldn't eat very well without it going right through him with lots of cramping. So the memories keep pouring in. I would like to skip right over to January if I could. Maybe I could sleep through it. I wonder if I will ever be able to carry on normally again. My kids are a great support and I have twin grandchildren that bring me so much joy. But I still miss him so much. lately I have been angry at him! Pray does help, but there is still the loneliness. God bless you! I will be praying for you too!