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I have two friends that have committed suicide within 2 months of each other. I tried to commit suicide twice in the last 4 years. With all this grief that has come my way it is hard not to look for that way out. Yet, it is even harder to phathom it know what it does to people to lose someone to suicide. I'm so lost without my friend to talk to about this, he taught me to keep my head up, and now he is gone. He couldn't make it anymore and I just wonder when my day will come.
Thank you, Darlene. My mother was killed in a car accident when she was 38. My grandmother always said the same thing. Nothing compares to losing a child. I faced the enormity and finality at the funeral home,
but since then it all seems surreal. I keep thinking he'll call or just
show up. I talk to him often. I believe his spirit can hear me. I
remind him how much I love him, what a wonderful young man he was, and
how much joy he brought into so many people's lives. I haven't gotten
angry yet - but I know it's coming. Family and friends help so much.
Every time I get a phone call or email I feel loved, hugged and prayed
for. It all helps.
I am 21. I had just lost one of my closest friends ever. He was like a brother to me. He let me be the godmother of his child. He was always there for me. Then one morning, the morning i was happy and packing to go on a trip to texas to visit my newest niece that had just been born.. I got a call from my friends baby's mom. I was so calm and the usual "hey girl, what's up?"... then silence, and i hear instant crying. She told me my friend had shot himself in his chest in his car after he had went to a party around 1am. I denied it. I thought she was messing with me since he seemed to be doing so well and i had just talked to him not even 2 days before that. I had just seen him not even 2 days before that. He was a brother to me. Then, ... it hit me. I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak... and to this day.. i still cry.. even as i'm writing this..it's been almost 7months. Last month we had a vigil that would have been on his 21st birthday which we were looking forward to so much! He left behind his 1 1/2 yr old baby girl.. it's heartbreaking. I had a dream about him a couple days after it happened and in the dream he told me "juanita.. i'm okay. i'm okay..." and i believe he is. I miss him terribly. Within the following 2 weeks i lost my grandmother and a close family friend also. Then the following month my son had a horrible seizure when he was only a year old.. This has been a trying year, but i will never forget the day he committed suicide because it has changed my life drastically.
Brenda, I lost my older brother Terry to suicide on Christmas day 2006. His 1st marriage lasted 20 years before she divorced him. He thought he had met the love of his life in 2006. They were married in October 2006 and 2 months later I got a call saying he was gone. I had never met his new wife until the funeral, I liked her, she seemed really nice. But was I wrong. Not long after we buried him, things started coming out about her. I recieved e-mails from her sister that my brother and her wrote. He loved her so much, it killed him. Turns out she was just using him for his money and what she could get out of him. She had plastic surgery, he bought her a spider sports car, anything she wanted, he got for her. He found out she was going out on him, but he forgave her. He worked 2 jobs and found time to referee basketball games. He would leave home at 5:00 a.m. and not get home until after 10:00 p.m. They had went to her sisters house in Alabama for the holidays. They came home on Christmas morning, and got into an argument. She told him he had to leave after the holidays. Her and her son went in the kitchen and my brother called his kids and my mom and dad and told them he loved them. As soon as he hung up the phone with my mom, he pulled the trigger and shot himself in the head. My husband and I were fixing Christmas dinner when my dad called us. My brother was a former marine and cop. I never thought I would get a phone call like that. That is a day I'll never forget.When my brother died he had over $40,000.00 in his bank account, when his son went to check it, he had $30.00 left. His wife cleaned out his accounts. She took everything he had left. His kids didn't get anything she made sure her and her kids got everything. I don't think I'll ever forgive her, because I know she drove him to this. My mom & dad can't go to the cemetery anymore because they can't stand to leave and leave him there. I miss him more everyday. I know one day we'll all be together again. The one thing that helsp me get thru this is knowing that my brother is at peace now. Something he didn't have for many years on earth. He is finally able to rest.
It has been almost 2 weeks since my 20 year old son committed suicide. I've experienced a lot of deaths in my life, as I come from a large family. But this is the first suicide. He was so happy and full of life. He teased, joked, and liked to pull pranks on us. The one thing everyone comments on is how much he made us all laugh. Three nights before his death we went to a concert and he danced his heart away. I hadn't seen him dance since he was about 5 years old. But I always knew there was something dark in him. And we couldn't fix it. He had reached out in the past when he was depressed, but this time he didn't. My 24-year-old son found him in bed - he had shot himself. Sometimes I feel like I've given so much to others that I haven't had time to grieve myself. My kids and grandkids call almost every day, and I start telling funny "Harold" stories - we feel better when we get off the phone. I guess it's helping all of us.
On 12th May 2010 I came home to find my husband of seven years had hung himself in our garage. He was only 41 years old. He was the sweetest, gentlest most caring person in the whole world and I still can't believe this has happened. I don't know where to begin to pick up the pieces of my life. We had been together for a total of twelve years and longest we had ever been apart was a two and a half week trip I took with a friend. He was my best friend and we were always content to just spend time together no matter what we were doing. Noone saw this coming, we had been making plans and nothing had changed in his behaviour, I just can't believe it.
I can't get the image of finding him out of my head and I think one of the hardest things is that he knew I had struggled for years with the fact that I had been the one to find my mother dead when I was nine (she had leukaemia). I had been dealing with depression myself after losing so many in my family over the years and I can't believe he would do this at all but especially so that I would be the one to find him like that.
We had been talking about starting a family this year and I feel as though he has now taken my life with him. Everyone keeps telling me I still have plenty of time to move on and find someone else and still have a family (I'm 35) but I can't even think about that. He and I were so perfectly suited to one another or so I thought, I could never find anyone who would get me the way he did and of anyone on this planet who I trusted and would have never thought could hurt me like this it was Brook, how could I possibly ever trust anyone else ever again?
I just miss him so much and everyone around me is trying their best but they are all moving on with their lives and I'm getting the feeling they think I should be starting to move on with mine but I just don't know how to start. I don't have anywhere to live, I'm staying with a friend 'cause I couldn't possibly stay in that house after finding him like that, I don't have a job as we had decided that I would do the housewife thing and he would work so I have to try to find somewhere to live and find a job when I can't even concentrate on flicking through a magazine or watching a tv show.
Has anyone been through something like this? What do I do? Where do I start?
On 12th May 2010 I came home to find my husband of seven years had hung himself in our garage. He was only 41 years old. He was the sweetest, gentlest most caring person in the whole world and I still can't believe this has happened. I don't know where to begin to pick up the pieces of my life. We had been together for a total of twelve years and longest we had ever been apart was a two and a half week trip I took with a friend. He was my best friend and we were always content to just spend time together no matter what we were doing. Noone saw this coming, we had been making plans and nothing had changed in his behaviour, I just can't believe it.
I can't get the image of finding him out of my head and I think one of the hardest things is that he knew I had struggled for years with the fact that I had been the one to find my mother dead when I was nine (she had leukaemia). I had been dealing with depression myself after losing so many in my family over the years and I can't believe he would do this at all but especially so that I would be the one to find him like that.
We had been talking about starting a family this year and I feel as though he has now taken my life with him. Everyone keeps telling me I still have plenty of time to move on and find someone else and still have a family (I'm 35) but I can't even think about that. He and I were so perfectly suited to one another or so I thought, I could never find anyone who would get me the way he did and of anyone on this planet who I trusted and would have never thought could hurt me like this it was Brook, how could I possibly ever trust anyone else ever again?
I just miss him so much and everyone around me is trying their best but they are all moving on with their lives and I'm getting the feeling they think I should be starting to move on with mine but I just don't know how to start. I don't have anywhere to live, I'm staying with a friend 'cause I couldn't possibly stay in that house after finding him like that, I don't have a job as we had decided that I would do the housewife thing and he would work so I have to try to find somewhere to live and find a job when I can't even concentrate on flicking through a magazine or watching a tv show.
Has anyone been through something like this? What do I do? Where do I start?
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