I always ask for John to appear to me in my dreams. Two days after he was buried, he appeared to me in a dream, sitting at a banquet table, wearing his v-neck blue sweater he was buried in, smiling, arms held up, radiating, glowing, and so very happy. I was very pleased to see him so healthy and happy. Several weeks later, he finally appeared to me in my dream and I saw the outline of his white hair, he stood up, fell but got up rather quickly. He thrust out his right arm where he has a cancer tumor, from the rare form of skin cancer he had, and pushed up his shirt sleeve, and I saw his elbow. He turned his elbow front to back and said to me, "See, I'm healed." And I saw a perfect elbow, totally cleared of his cancerous skin tumor. I have now accepted he is changed, healed and has a new body. He's with God and is happy. I think he wanted to show me this so I wouldn't cry that much about losing him. I still do and probably will do so for a very long time.
I always ask John to come to me in my dreams. And he has. Two days after he was buried, I dreamt of him sitting at a big banquet table, wearing the navy v-neck sweater he was buried in. He was smiling and radiant, so radiant he glowed. His face was beautiful and beaming with delight and his hands were held out to the side, admiring the table. He was happy and beautiful and I knew he was with God. The next day, while standing in the living room, looking out the window, I began to speak out loud asking the heavens, where John was. I felt a light touch to my right shoulder and it passed through the glass. I knew John was in the room with me and touched me and left.
My next dream came to me several days later. I dreamt that I was in a bedroom with a baby sleeping next to me. I woke up and told the baby boy that I wanted to sleep and he had to go into the other room and let me sleep. The baby went out the door of the bedroom and I saw my diceased mother and father pass by the door and look inside at me sleeping. When I awoke, I went to the door to find them and the baby, and there was no door there. I began to pound and pound to "let me in." "Let me in." There was no way for me to go with them.
I brought this dream to my therapist who said that the baby boy was John and that I used to wake at night to get him to go to the bathroom as he was incontinent. Then he'd go sleep on the couch so I could get the rest I needed to take care of him the next day. The fact that I couldn't get out of the room and go with the baby (John) and my family, is that it's not my time. It made sense to me and I've had many dreams with this baby boy I'm always taking with me.
The last significant dream was very dramatic. In it, John was looking ill as he did towards the last part of his life. His hair was sparse and he was thin. But I knew it was him and in this dream he held his right arm out in front of himself. He had a rare form of skin cancer that left him with huge tumors that oozed and bled and he had one of these tumors at the crest of his elbow. He held that arm out and rolled up his sleeve and said to me, "See, I'm healed. There's no cancer there." And I looked and saw a perfectly healed arm that he kept turning front to back, showing me there was only perfect skin.
I know he's happy and healed and new from his crossing over into Heaven. And I know he's with God. But it doesn't lessen my love or longing for him. And I still hope that he'll return even though I know he can't. But if he comes to me in dreams, that will suffice until I see him again.
My daughter Laura was murdered Oct, 2009 she was stabbed to death by a monster who was stalking her. I was so completely devastated not only from her death but I found her and being in the medical field, I knew the moment I saw her that she was gone. I wanted to die, I wanted to trade places with her. I feel like there is a huge void ripped from my heart. Within the first part of 2010 I ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and of course depression. I was having suicidal thoughts. It is all being controlled with medication and Therapy. Anyways, what I am leading up to is two dreams, both Laura came to me. The first she wanted to share with me where she is and she took me under the oceans and Dolphins, whales and other creatures of the sea where all around. But thenI started to panic thinking I can't breathe under water and she sent me back. I remember waking just briefly choking and gasping for air which passed and I slept again. Then she came back and took me into the clouds. I felt so free and exhilerated. I was flying.... I don't remember anything more. When I woke up I realized she was telling me that she is still here, all around. I got some comfort in all that and felt I was dealing ok.....it was then I ended up in the hospital. : (
several months of fighting such sadness and crying all the time, I had another dream? She came to me again and we were sitting in a car. She was telling me that it was so beautiful where she is and she wanted me to stop being so sad. She reassured me that she is ok and when the time is right I will see her again. Then she said she had to go and I said no and we held each other with both of us crying. As she faded away she held onto my hand until the very last moment. Then she was gone. My oldest daughter also dreamed that Laura asked her why everyone is crying. We get so many signs from her, sometimes when I tell people they start crying. I know for all of us, I do believe our loved ones are all around and are capable of communicating. We just have to keep an open mind to it all. God Bless