"Come to me in dreams, my love..."

Have you had any meaningful dreams since the passing of a loved one?

Share your story.

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December 15, 2009

I Called For You

I felt sad and lonely the day before, and just with the thought that you are not going to be here for this Christmas made it worse! I spent the whole day sad and mad. I was mad at the fact that you are not here! And sad that I wasn’t going to see you again! Nothing can make me feel better or help me drown this pain! So I went to bed sad and depressed. I was at this house that was dark and damp. I was in this room calling for you. “Ruben, Ruben”. I waited for your response. You answered, “Yes Mary, what happen”? And I was so happy that you answered! I felt so warm and full of love to hear your loving and caring voice. I felt you so near to me and close even though we are in different places, like different worlds. When you answered I thought, “What should I tell him”? So many thoughts and questions ran though my head at that moment. But the only thing I could answer back was, “I LOVE YOU RUBEN”! I heard your voice so far far away but I still heard it loud and clear! “I LOVE YOU MARY”! I got so happy that you were still listening to me and answering me! Thank you Ruben! I know it is hard for us to let you go and let you rest because we still want you here. It’s hard so hard! But thank you for being there like you always had been! Thank you Brother! I LOVE YOU!
I always ask for John to appear to me in my dreams. Two days after he was buried, he appeared to me in a dream, sitting at a banquet table, wearing his v-neck blue sweater he was buried in, smiling, arms held up, radiating, glowing, and so very happy. I was very pleased to see him so healthy and happy. Several weeks later, he finally appeared to me in my dream and I saw the outline of his white hair, he stood up, fell but got up rather quickly. He thrust out his right arm where he has a cancer tumor, from the rare form of skin cancer he had, and pushed up his shirt sleeve, and I saw his elbow. He turned his elbow front to back and said to me, "See, I'm healed." And I saw a perfect elbow, totally cleared of his cancerous skin tumor. I have now accepted he is changed, healed and has a new body. He's with God and is happy. I think he wanted to show me this so I wouldn't cry that much about losing him. I still do and probably will do so for a very long time.
Thank you for sharing this dream. I had a dream of a friend of mine who committed suicide. He appeared to me in a dream. He was crying and very sorrowful and begged for my forgiveness. I came to understand why the tradgedy occurred and that he was alright and I forgave him immediately in his dream and was then able to heal and let it go and realize that everything is alright with him and that he wants me to be happy and not mourn over him.ite>Joan said:
I always ask for John to appear to me in my dreams. Two days after he was buried, he appeared to me in a dream, sitting at a banquet table, wearing his v-neck blue sweater he was buried in, smiling, arms held up, radiating, glowing, and so very happy. I was very pleased to see him so healthy and happy. Several weeks later, he finally appeared to me in my dream and I saw the outline of his white hair, he stood up, fell but got up rather quickly. He thrust out his right arm where he has a cancer tumor, from the rare form of skin cancer he had, and pushed up his shirt sleeve, and I saw his elbow. He turned his elbow front to back and said to me, "See, I'm healed." And I saw a perfect elbow, totally cleared of his cancerous skin tumor. I have now accepted he is changed, healed and has a new body. He's with God and is happy. I think he wanted to show me this so I wouldn't cry that much about losing him. I still do and probably will do so for a very long time.
It does me good to hear that others have dreams of their loved ones. I also have heard strange noises during the night, when I'm sleeping. But I wear ear plugs all the time and yet the noise is loud. I'm not afraid though. And I'm not afraid when I feel someone poke my shoulder in church. John always went to church with me and I feel he was there. I have also felt someone touch my toe while I was sleeping, making me come awake but there's no one there. There are so many unexplained things that happen to us when our loved one dies. Emotions change and things we hear may not be there. Hallucinations happen. But it's all normal. I find no comfort in any of these things. The thing I want most to happen is that John will come back to me, hold me, kiss me and tell me once again, he loves me. But I know that can't happen. I can't be consoled tonight.
My mother had been sick for several years, suffering from a degenerative neurological condition. We were able to keep and care for her at home until her death. A year before she died she had finally reached the point that she became nonverbal, 2 months later she was unable to walk. We got her up daily into a chair (or a wheel chair to take her out side). We bathed her, fed her, and talked to her just like we always did. When it became obvious that she was deteriorating, I fought more and more against thoughts of loosing her...."its not gonna happen". One night, I 'dreamt' I was looking out my bedroom window, and saw my mother (who appeared to be glowing from within)walking away from me. I called to her. She stopped, turned around and looked at me, smiled and said 'it's ok. I have to go, but I will be happy, and you and your dad will be fine. Trust in God, and everything will be o.k.'. I awakened crying, but also suffused with the peace that can only come with acceptance. she died a week after this 'dream'....and she was right, and knowing that she 'told' me this made things much easier. No less painful, perhaps, but easier to bear.
I always ask John to come to me in my dreams. And he has. Two days after he was buried, I dreamt of him sitting at a big banquet table, wearing the navy v-neck sweater he was buried in. He was smiling and radiant, so radiant he glowed. His face was beautiful and beaming with delight and his hands were held out to the side, admiring the table. He was happy and beautiful and I knew he was with God. The next day, while standing in the living room, looking out the window, I began to speak out loud asking the heavens, where John was. I felt a light touch to my right shoulder and it passed through the glass. I knew John was in the room with me and touched me and left.

My next dream came to me several days later. I dreamt that I was in a bedroom with a baby sleeping next to me. I woke up and told the baby boy that I wanted to sleep and he had to go into the other room and let me sleep. The baby went out the door of the bedroom and I saw my diceased mother and father pass by the door and look inside at me sleeping. When I awoke, I went to the door to find them and the baby, and there was no door there. I began to pound and pound to "let me in." "Let me in." There was no way for me to go with them.

I brought this dream to my therapist who said that the baby boy was John and that I used to wake at night to get him to go to the bathroom as he was incontinent. Then he'd go sleep on the couch so I could get the rest I needed to take care of him the next day. The fact that I couldn't get out of the room and go with the baby (John) and my family, is that it's not my time. It made sense to me and I've had many dreams with this baby boy I'm always taking with me.

The last significant dream was very dramatic. In it, John was looking ill as he did towards the last part of his life. His hair was sparse and he was thin. But I knew it was him and in this dream he held his right arm out in front of himself. He had a rare form of skin cancer that left him with huge tumors that oozed and bled and he had one of these tumors at the crest of his elbow. He held that arm out and rolled up his sleeve and said to me, "See, I'm healed. There's no cancer there." And I looked and saw a perfectly healed arm that he kept turning front to back, showing me there was only perfect skin.

I know he's happy and healed and new from his crossing over into Heaven. And I know he's with God. But it doesn't lessen my love or longing for him. And I still hope that he'll return even though I know he can't. But if he comes to me in dreams, that will suffice until I see him again.
I had only one dream of my husband Fernando after! I was so weired but I went into our bedroom and Fernando looked really good getting up from the bed with the television on. I got really exceited and told him to pack up clothes so we can go to Germany for the treamtent as the Uk Dr refused treatment. Fernando looked at me as I frantically pack but he only said that he is okay now and he does not want to go to Germany. I just stood there persuading him to got so he can be helped but he only went to bed and watched television. I cried and woke up! I know it was to late but why this dream? Since then nothing not even a dream how he is doing! I am going crazy as I just want any dream of him but I have not got one. I wake up either I did not dream or he is not in it. I really miss him so much and wish he could at least be in my dreams.

Joan said:
I always ask John to come to me in my dreams. And he has. Two days after he was buried, I dreamt of him sitting at a big banquet table, wearing the navy v-neck sweater he was buried in. He was smiling and radiant, so radiant he glowed. His face was beautiful and beaming with delight and his hands were held out to the side, admiring the table. He was happy and beautiful and I knew he was with God. The next day, while standing in the living room, looking out the window, I began to speak out loud asking the heavens, where John was. I felt a light touch to my right shoulder and it passed through the glass. I knew John was in the room with me and touched me and left.

My next dream came to me several days later. I dreamt that I was in a bedroom with a baby sleeping next to me. I woke up and told the baby boy that I wanted to sleep and he had to go into the other room and let me sleep. The baby went out the door of the bedroom and I saw my diceased mother and father pass by the door and look inside at me sleeping. When I awoke, I went to the door to find them and the baby, and there was no door there. I began to pound and pound to "let me in." "Let me in." There was no way for me to go with them.

I brought this dream to my therapist who said that the baby boy was John and that I used to wake at night to get him to go to the bathroom as he was incontinent. Then he'd go sleep on the couch so I could get the rest I needed to take care of him the next day. The fact that I couldn't get out of the room and go with the baby (John) and my family, is that it's not my time. It made sense to me and I've had many dreams with this baby boy I'm always taking with me.

The last significant dream was very dramatic. In it, John was looking ill as he did towards the last part of his life. His hair was sparse and he was thin. But I knew it was him and in this dream he held his right arm out in front of himself. He had a rare form of skin cancer that left him with huge tumors that oozed and bled and he had one of these tumors at the crest of his elbow. He held that arm out and rolled up his sleeve and said to me, "See, I'm healed. There's no cancer there." And I looked and saw a perfectly healed arm that he kept turning front to back, showing me there was only perfect skin.

I know he's happy and healed and new from his crossing over into Heaven. And I know he's with God. But it doesn't lessen my love or longing for him. And I still hope that he'll return even though I know he can't. But if he comes to me in dreams, that will suffice until I see him again.
Dreams are a common manifestation of grief; we've seen it several times with various families we've served. This is likely part of the fourth stage: bargaining, where you feel as though you'd give anything just for a few more minutes with your loved one. Perhaps the best way to deal with grief is to understand these stages. We've outlined them here, for anyone interested in learning a bit more: http://bit.ly/bBvgdg
My daughter Laura was murdered Oct, 2009 she was stabbed to death by a monster who was stalking her. I was so completely devastated not only from her death but I found her and being in the medical field, I knew the moment I saw her that she was gone. I wanted to die, I wanted to trade places with her. I feel like there is a huge void ripped from my heart. Within the first part of 2010 I ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and of course depression. I was having suicidal thoughts. It is all being controlled with medication and Therapy. Anyways, what I am leading up to is two dreams, both Laura came to me. The first she wanted to share with me where she is and she took me under the oceans and Dolphins, whales and other creatures of the sea where all around. But thenI started to panic thinking I can't breathe under water and she sent me back. I remember waking just briefly choking and gasping for air which passed and I slept again. Then she came back and took me into the clouds. I felt so free and exhilerated. I was flying.... I don't remember anything more. When I woke up I realized she was telling me that she is still here, all around. I got some comfort in all that and felt I was dealing ok.....it was then I ended up in the hospital. : (
several months of fighting such sadness and crying all the time, I had another dream? She came to me again and we were sitting in a car. She was telling me that it was so beautiful where she is and she wanted me to stop being so sad. She reassured me that she is ok and when the time is right I will see her again. Then she said she had to go and I said no and we held each other with both of us crying. As she faded away she held onto my hand until the very last moment. Then she was gone. My oldest daughter also dreamed that Laura asked her why everyone is crying. We get so many signs from her, sometimes when I tell people they start crying. I know for all of us, I do believe our loved ones are all around and are capable of communicating. We just have to keep an open mind to it all. God Bless
I have experienced many events which I know are messages from my son, Jon who passed away at the age of 20.  I have a website where you can share your story it is at google www.thechildwelost.com  I know that there is something beyond this physical world.  The child I lost has given me the gift of faith.  God Bless you, Susan Casadei

I am are so sorry for your loss of Laura.  My son Jon passed away on October 24th, 2003.  The messages and connections that your daughter have sent you are a great gift and by sharing with others it helps to instill faith in those who are suffering.  I have a started a website for parents to share their experiences,  It is a google www.thechildwelost.com  God Bless you, Susan Casadei
Margie Dovale said:
My daughter Laura was murdered Oct, 2009 she was stabbed to death by a monster who was stalking her. I was so completely devastated not only from her death but I found her and being in the medical field, I knew the moment I saw her that she was gone. I wanted to die, I wanted to trade places with her. I feel like there is a huge void ripped from my heart. Within the first part of 2010 I ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and of course depression. I was having suicidal thoughts. It is all being controlled with medication and Therapy. Anyways, what I am leading up to is two dreams, both Laura came to me. The first she wanted to share with me where she is and she took me under the oceans and Dolphins, whales and other creatures of the sea where all around. But thenI started to panic thinking I can't breathe under water and she sent me back. I remember waking just briefly choking and gasping for air which passed and I slept again. Then she came back and took me into the clouds. I felt so free and exhilerated. I was flying.... I don't remember anything more. When I woke up I realized she was telling me that she is still here, all around. I got some comfort in all that and felt I was dealing ok.....it was then I ended up in the hospital. : (
several months of fighting such sadness and crying all the time, I had another dream? She came to me again and we were sitting in a car. She was telling me that it was so beautiful where she is and she wanted me to stop being so sad. She reassured me that she is ok and when the time is right I will see her again. Then she said she had to go and I said no and we held each other with both of us crying. As she faded away she held onto my hand until the very last moment. Then she was gone. My oldest daughter also dreamed that Laura asked her why everyone is crying. We get so many signs from her, sometimes when I tell people they start crying. I know for all of us, I do believe our loved ones are all around and are capable of communicating. We just have to keep an open mind to it all. God Bless
I did experience of my love Joe come to me. it was early in the morning just before waking. Feeling his presence was incredible and beautiful but also sad as I woke. It started to me as a dream. I followed him down the hall of the house from the bedroom into the living room. He was playful like he always was. As I walked into the living room both of his Harleys and exersize equipment were in there. I didn't understand. I followed him into the kitchen. As he stood in the kitchen I asked him why has everything changed. He didn't seem sad to me, suddenly I felt him take my hand as he had done so many times before and held it and wrapped his arm close to mine and just held it. I tried to reach for him. I tried to grab his big strong arm. I wanted to kiss him,but he let go of me. This was so intense I cannot deny his presence. When we started dating Joe asked me to take his hand and walk with him through this life. I slept with his bathrobe at night and after I woke from this experience I held it tight and could smell him just as if he were laying next to me. It was overwhelming actually. This happened a few weeks after his sudden unexpected death. I'm grateful and releaved to know that he will always be apart of me. and we will see each other again.

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