Dreams

"Come to me in dreams, my love..."

Have you had any meaningful dreams since the passing of a loved one?

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Permalink Reply by River of Tears on January 29, 2011 at 6:05am

When I lay down never knowing if or when I will ever sleep I am surprised to find myself dreaming yet seems of late also crying maybe because I see my Sister and Mother and Father and everything seems ok , yet when I wake up with out thought I am still crying. Maybe it is all due to exhaustion , and constant thinking of them everyday. If only to stay in the dream a little longer before they seem to go away. The tears are not a weep they are ones that rarely I have known ones that come from my depth of heart and soul . As much as I hope to see them within my dreams or feel them through the day I ask if this is even fair to ask of them . Are my tears only for me and not for them that I now feel all alone . Others many are around though none will ever be the love I knew and was granted from each one of them . My heart at times as I lay feels as though it is pressing up against the walls wishing it was the pace I heard before of my Sisters heart slowed as she quietly slipped away . Never to be able to say yet again I just want you to stay . If Dreams are the silent and comforting place that we are able to go. To be together once again with our loved ones I wish this for all . Please take .

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on January 30, 2011 at 4:48am

As I have been up thinking about my Sister so much even think at a moment that I need to make sure I had clean towels for her I caught myself and had to ask myself I was dreaming . No still what I feel is the same nightmare since she passed . I come to see what others have shared for insight and to take pause to send comfort to all of you . Are my dreams telling me something or have they in the pasted ? Well intellectually it can be explained but when it comes to relationships and the emotions that we all have with our loved ones this is not so easily put into words if at all . To be honest at this point I would choose the intellectual point of view rather then them emotional explanation . At least with this you can just wake up and go on with your life . Yet at least for me the relationship I was so fortunate to have with me Sister and the Love we share was like no other and will not . As it is with a parent a child a brother or anyone you may love . Have I have many a dreams that something was happening or was going to happen to someone I love YES can I explain it to be honest , No but then who can explain or tell you of the love you hold for someone it is only you . . Do I wish for dreams now to know that my Sister is ok , as well as my Mother and Father absolutely but then this is where the intellectual comes in , shutting down may not allow the thoughts or dreams to come . Who knows .. What ever it is , I truly believe it is another gift we are not able to explain yet that we all may have and what it is made of it is simple a four letter word that is not often said enough nor had wished to be said a million times more is LOVE .

Continued thoughts for all of you .

Permalink Reply by Corrine Cayton on January 31, 2011 at 1:21am

In all honesty I had not giving much thought when it comes to death. I had not lost a loved one in years and was always greatful at the begining of a new year to still have all the people I love and cherish still here on this earth. The sudden death of my fiance absolutely devestated me. I'll never be the same. Joe's suddenly gone. I have struggled trying to wrap my mind around this nightmare. It changed the way I think and see life when he came to me in my sleep. It was so intense. Truly incredible. It made me know in my soul that we are here for a short time on this earth and paradise and true happiness awaits us. It gave me comfort and I have spent alot of my time learning all I can about life after death. We never die. I dont fear death anymore. What I have learned in all my pain and suffering is the beauty of seeing him again. I have felt his head laying on my chest. He is happy. I have read a book, Heaven is for Real. It had brought great comfort to me. May God Bless us all.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on January 31, 2011 at 4:55am

Dear Corrine and All that have share ,

Your dream was so touching and so beautiful , though I have great sadness in my heart that you have had to go through this at all . As all the many that come to share . Love seems to be what is the common fiber in what you wrote and what I have seen in what others have shared . What a blessing that love transcends even into ones dream . Then to have received somehow the message or gift or what ever one wants to define it as the knowledge of what is to come and where your loved one is . This for me is all I ask for , I do not have to go to the same place, I just truly wish to know that they are ok . Even though heaven is where I know they are isn't it funny I still worry as though I still can be there for them or can do something for them . For you and others to know that you will be once again with your loved ones may this be known in you heart , and in you dreams . Would that not be what a dream is > Hope and Belief it will . May many loving dreams continue to you and all .

I am truly sorry for you loss. Please take care

Corrine Cayton said:

In all honesty I had not giving much thought when it comes to death. I had not lost a loved one in years and was always greatful at the begining of a new year to still have all the people I love and cherish still here on this earth. The sudden death of my fiance absolutely devestated me. I'll never be the same. Joe's suddenly gone. I have struggled trying to wrap my mind around this nightmare. It changed the way I think and see life when he came to me in my sleep. It was so intense. Truly incredible. It made me know in my soul that we are here for a short time on this earth and paradise and true happiness awaits us. It gave me comfort and I have spent alot of my time learning all I can about life after death. We never die. I dont fear death anymore. What I have learned in all my pain and suffering is the beauty of seeing him again. I have felt his head laying on my chest. He is happy. I have read a book, Heaven is for Real. It had brought great comfort to me. May God Bless us all.

Permalink Reply by eileen ferguson on February 7, 2011 at 9:45am

I surely understand. I am so sorry for your Dear Loss. I am sure you were close to your brother. Its going to be healthy to grieve. Let it out. I had to tell myself this many times. today I am better, but I am not able to forget. do what you have to. The God of comfort is with you.

Karen said:

Nancy, I'm so sorry! It's tough enough losing your brother, but if nobody's there for your when you need to talk about it, that's extra tough. Everybody grieves differently; it seems like your family is dealing with it in a way that doesn't work for you. The loss was so recent, it's possible they just aren't ready to talk about it yet.

Are there any local grief support groups or hospice organizations near you? Being able to meet with people who are suffering just like you are can be a big help. You DO deserve support and consoling! You've had a terrible loss, it's natural to need help dealing with it all.

Please know that we're here for you. Again, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, as well as your dad. I read your brother's obituary, and he sounds like a really neat guy! I have a brother too, and I can't imagine what you're going through.

Permalink Reply by eileen ferguson on February 7, 2011 at 9:50am

Tresa, I know how you feel. We never seem to lose the feelings of there presence some one way of another. I feel my Son from time. to time. I long to see him one more time as they say. I grieve, you grieve. I feel im ok with it. I get out, evercise, move about. but there is that gap. I will never underatand why he left me his mom and his family, tho he was a parapalegic, we did everthing to keep him going and comfortable. I say just keep moving about, keep going. time is on your side.

Tresa Sampson said:

I have had so many dreams of my husband since he passed, my dad has been gone since father's day of 1998. He has even been in some of them, I finally realized that's why I don't like to sleep because I know when I wake up they won't be here.

Permalink Reply by eileen ferguson on February 7, 2011 at 9:51am

Chris B said:

I don't know if it would be considered "meaningful" but I've dreamed about him a few times. And this afternoon while I was napping I could feel him curled up behind me, holding me like he used to. And while it was wonderful while it lasted, it made waking up even worse, because the pain of realizing again that he's gone. At least in dreams I can be with him again.

Permalink Reply by eileen ferguson on February 7, 2011 at 10:00am

Corrine, I know how you feel. I have those feeling, simularly about my love ones. I lost my Son. I feel sometimes his presence, the warmth. I so desire to see him again. I know he isnt here anymore and I keep sayimg why. I ded everything for him while alive, his family cared for him as he was physically handicapped. But hes gone now. I do a lot of praying, I get much relief this way. I have comfort knowing hes in a deep sleep, awaiting a resurrection. I pray , as this isGOds will. ITs ok to grieve, take comfort.

River of Tears said:

Dear Corrine and All that have share ,

Your dream was so touching and so beautiful , though I have great sadness in my heart that you have had to go through this at all . As all the many that come to share . Love seems to be what is the common fiber in what you wrote and what I have seen in what others have shared . What a blessing that love transcends even into ones dream . Then to have received somehow the message or gift or what ever one wants to define it as the knowledge of what is to come and where your loved one is . This for me is all I ask for , I do not have to go to the same place, I just truly wish to know that they are ok . Even though heaven is where I know they are isn't it funny I still worry as though I still can be there for them or can do something for them . For you and others to know that you will be once again with your loved ones may this be known in you heart , and in you dreams . Would that not be what a dream is > Hope and Belief it will . May many loving dreams continue to you and all .

I am truly sorry for you loss. Please take care

Corrine Cayton said:

In all honesty I had not giving much thought when it comes to death. I had not lost a loved one in years and was always greatful at the begining of a new year to still have all the people I love and cherish still here on this earth. The sudden death of my fiance absolutely devestated me. I'll never be the same. Joe's suddenly gone. I have struggled trying to wrap my mind around this nightmare. It changed the way I think and see life when he came to me in my sleep. It was so intense. Truly incredible. It made me know in my soul that we are here for a short time on this earth and paradise and true happiness awaits us. It gave me comfort and I have spent alot of my time learning all I can about life after death. We never die. I dont fear death anymore. What I have learned in all my pain and suffering is the beauty of seeing him again. I have felt his head laying on my chest. He is happy. I have read a book, Heaven is for Real. It had brought great comfort to me. May God Bless us all.

Permalink Reply by jennifer sutton on April 22, 2011 at 6:32pm

Hi my name is Jennifer, I posted a blog under the loss of a mother recently, as my mom died on March 28, 2011, from congestive heart faliure,and pnemonia. I was with her to the end , when she took her last breath! She died on a monday. That evening, I went to bed feeling pretty low, and upset and in shock.

In my dream, it was morning like any other morning! My husband and one of my eldest sons, were outside in the driveway. I was looking towards the window, curtain were half drawn, all I could see at first, was a

part of my husbands plaid shirt,and the top my son s head ! I walked over to open the curtain more and look directly out the window, towards a long driveway! I saw my deceased father with a hose in his hand watering the lawn, looking much younger,with a smile on his face. I replied Hi Dad! He just grinned and did not say anything back to me! Next to him was my mother, looking much younger too, not in pain! She just looked at me, and I replied, Mom you look good! I guess that they both were letting me know that they are indeed together! Jennifer.........

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on April 23, 2011 at 6:37am

Dear Caroline Manniheimer ,

A beautiful yet sad story of love , one that truly touched a heart that cares .

How dreams can be moments we may have to share with out loved ones if only for that second at least your daughter , and that will never change .

You have this amazing strength as I read on in all you have had to face in life . A courage that only comes from one place . A place of love and being there for another .

Please take care in this journey .

blessing to all my dreams bring you thoughts of love with the hopes of just a moment again with the ones we love so much if only there .

Caroline Mannheimer said:

The loss of my fiancé, Joe, devastated me. It has been the hardest year of my life, in a life of many hard years. I loved him so much that his being HIV+ only mattered to me because I feared falling in love and him getting sick & dying on me. When I was diagnosed with it, 2 years into our relationship, I was upset, mostly, for our two year old daughter; in fear that she might lose her parents too soon. In all honesty, I was ok to be HIV+ along side of my beloved. Joe was racked with guilt and began to drin heavily but I didn't want to live in a world that he wasn't a part of. Little did I ever imagine, that 5 years from then, he would be murdered in a robbery. What?! Even now, 10 months later, it seems too surreal to be true. And yet it is. He is gone. And I live on for our daughter, as I know he would want. But, he comes to me, almost nightly, in my dreams. I sometimes wonder if it is my own sub-conscious, in so much pain, trying to give me some relief. But, the "Joe dreams" come whether I'm thinking of him or not. And I ache for him when I awake.
This morning, I dreamed that I was stuck somewhere in a place that I didn't know, without a car (someone else drove & wanted to stay) when I got a call from my Joe. He was back! He was not dead (a running theme in my dreams). I was beside myself with excitement, I had to get to him. I started walking, at night, in a scary part of a city I didn't know, with our 7 year old daughter in tow. I came upon a train (another running theme) and got on. Joe was on board! (Joe was killed at the 69th St. Station, in Philly, after falling asleep on the train & missing his stop) But this was not the Philadelphia El train. Anyway, he helped me with all my luggage that I suddenly had. And, Chloë, our daughter, oh how they were thrilled to see each other!
Well, later today, I received news that Joe's mother next door neighbor has put their townhouse up for sale. It would've been a dream for Joe to have his "new" family and his "old" family living next door to each other.(He has a teenaged daughter from an earlier relationship whom I adore.) A big part of me wants to buy it, my daughter sure wants to, but, when Joe died, I stayed with his mom for 3 weeks and I felt him everywhere in that house. His spirit, his essence, even his smell, permeates that house, the house that he grew up in. I was a wreck there. Now, it's almost been a year, I think I'd be stronger but still...to live there without Joe...I'm unsure if it would be wise. We're in Minneapolis now and I know that moving back to Philly would be the best chance we'd have at ever getting this case solved...we weren't supposed to be here this long...but...I'm scared and in so much pain. I will be 46 on the 4th of July. I am a widowed single mother. I am HIV+. And if that weren't enough, I was badly burned & scarred in a house fire in 1981 as a teen. I have no doubt that I will be alone for whatever time I have left. For a diehard romantic like myself, that is just tragic. Not that anyone could ever replace the love Joe & I shared but still...it's so sad to me to know that no one will ever hold me again.
Thanks for reading this even though I'm certain it didn't make a whole lot of sense to you. All I know is, the few hours of sleep that I get a night, is the only time I can be with Joe. And all I want to do is sleep.

Permalink Reply by jennifer sutton on April 23, 2011 at 8:54pm

Dear Caroline Mannheimer, I do feel your pain. What a horrible loss!..... I do hope that in a timely matter they find who is responsible for the murder of Joe, your beloved fiance! Even though you have been through obvious hell and back, with health issues and terrible pain of missing Joe, you seem to be a very strong women! I think eventually, with time you will heal, and even though you suffer terribly with Hiv+ , and terrible burns, that is only the physical person! You have a beautiful heart, and a strong motherly instinct to protect your daughter Chloe! Your dreams of being with Joe the love of your life, are a coping mechanism and that is a way for you, and he, and your daughter to be together. I truly believe that you will not be alone forever Caroline! Have faith and believe!!!!!................. You have a friend,that is me!............ do not give in nor give up to thinking that know one will ever hold you again!.......... Things will fall into place! Joe is protecting you and Chloe , until his murder is solved,then there will be peace my friend! Stay strong! Jennifer........

The loss of my fiancé, Joe, devastated me. It has been the hardest year of my life, in a life of many hard years. I loved him so much that his being HIV+ only mattered to me because I feared falling in love and him getting sick & dying on me. When I was diagnosed with it, 2 years into our relationship, I was upset, mostly, for our two year old daughter; in fear that she might lose her parents too soon. In all honesty, I was ok to be HIV+ along side of my beloved. Joe was racked with guilt and began to drin heavily but I didn't want to live in a world that he wasn't a part of. Little did I ever imagine, that 5 years from then, he would be murdered in a robbery. What?! Even now, 10 months later, it seems too surreal to be true. And yet it is. He is gone. And I live on for our daughter, as I know he would want. But, he comes to me, almost nightly, in my dreams. I sometimes wonder if it is my own sub-conscious, in so much pain, trying to give me some relief. But, the "Joe dreams" come whether I'm thinking of him or not. And I ache for him when I awake.
This morning, I dreamed that I was stuck somewhere in a place that I didn't know, without a car (someone else drove & wanted to stay) when I got a call from my Joe. He was back! He was not dead (a running theme in my dreams). I was beside myself with excitement, I had to get to him. I started walking, at night, in a scary part of a city I didn't know, with our 7 year old daughter in tow. I came upon a train (another running theme) and got on. Joe was on board! (Joe was killed at the 69th St. Station, in Philly, after falling asleep on the train & missing his stop) But this was not the Philadelphia El train. Anyway, he helped me with all my luggage that I suddenly had. And, Chloë, our daughter, oh how they were thrilled to see each other!
Well, later today, I received news that Joe's mother next door neighbor has put their townhouse up for sale. It would've been a dream for Joe to have his "new" family and his "old" family living next door to each other.(He has a teenaged daughter from an earlier relationship whom I adore.) A big part of me wants to buy it, my daughter sure wants to, but, when Joe died, I stayed with his mom for 3 weeks and I felt him everywhere in that house. His spirit, his essence, even his smell, permeates that house, the house that he grew up in. I was a wreck there. Now, it's almost been a year, I think I'd be stronger but still...to live there without Joe...I'm unsure if it would be wise. We're in Minneapolis now and I know that moving back to Philly would be the best chance we'd have at ever getting this case solved...we weren't supposed to be here this long...but...I'm scared and in so much pain. I will be 46 on the 4th of July. I am a widowed single mother. I am HIV+. And if that weren't enough, I was badly burned & scarred in a house fire in 1981 as a teen. I have no doubt that I will be alone for whatever time I have left. For a diehard romantic like myself, that is just tragic. Not that anyone could ever replace the love Joe & I shared but still...it's so sad to me to know that no one will ever hold me again.
Thanks for reading this even though I'm certain it didn't make a whole lot of sense to you. All I know is, the few hours of sleep that I get a night, is the only time I can be with Joe. And all I want to do is sleep.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on April 24, 2011 at 3:52am

Dear Caroline ,

As Jennifer also shared I too do hope one day there will be resolution to this all if not to at least bring you and your daughter peace of mind .

I used to not want to sleep as maybe I could not , and now I do fall asleep even for an hour and I see my family with in my dream , this to me has been one of the moments in time through this whole night mare I wish I would never wake up from at least to see them again . Especially to see all three of them together , which I know for each this is how they only had wanted it to be . My heart as shattered as it is often wonders what it is that they may want me to do or I am hearing from them that maybe they are telling me too . Is it now that I need to put forth energies to make it better for others in area that I so feel that I failed or feel I did not have a voice in what happened to them or is this just my own guilt playing havoc inside my head of what I could have should have done yet as you there is something I am hearing that I only could hear from them as you with Joe . What is so special about that is that we know that love know matter where they go . There is nothing like it or will be .

Some may say that love is love well I would have to disagree , as I know in my heart of who I was fortunate in life to love and who loved me . It is as though it is a finger print that we will only know .

Who knows maybe our loved ones still have something to say or to teach this world or as Joe he may be showing you the way in the direction to find then answers that will bring peace to you . All the while his love as he walks this journey with you . One that can not be easy , not or anyone at that . As for me I just am glad I have learned to swim in my tears that have become a sea .

Take care

Caroline Mannheimer said:

Jennifer. "River of Tears". Thank you. You are both so very kind to reach out in your own times of grief. Love never dies and that is that.
I once had a dream where Joe came to me and told me that we weren't finding out the whole story of what happened that horrible day because I wouldn't be able to "handle the story". But that I would, eventually, learn the entire truth when I was stronger. This was about 4 months ago maybe 5. We still haven't gotten the medical report or his belongings back because they've left the case open. I always remember, when it first happened, they told me that "it could take up to 6 months" before we got the medical report back. Yet here it is about to be a full year on June 2nd. And not a word from the Philadelphia Police Dept. Very disheartening.
Again, I must thank you for your kind words when your own heart hurts. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me, as a single mom who sometimes feels so alone in her own river of tears, drowning, but to know I have support out there, from complete strangers, is a source of real strength for me!
Many hugs to you both.
~Caroline M.

jennifer sutton said:
Dear Caroline Mannheimer, I do feel your pain. What a horrible loss!..... I do hope that in a timely matter they find who is responsible for the murder of Joe, your beloved fiance! Even though you have been through obvious hell and back, with health issues and terrible pain of missing Joe, you seem to be a very strong women! I think eventually, with time you will heal, and even though you suffer terribly with Hiv+ , and terrible burns, that is only the physical person! You have a beautiful heart, and a strong motherly instinct to protect your daughter Chloe! Your dreams of being with Joe the love of your life, are a coping mechanism and that is a way for you, and he, and your daughter to be together. I truly believe that you will not be alone forever Caroline! Have faith and believe!!!!!................. You have a friend,that is me!............ do not give in nor give up to thinking that know one will ever hold you again!.......... Things will fall into place! Joe is protecting you and Chloe , until his murder is solved,then there will be peace my friend! Stay strong! Jennifer........

The loss of my fiancé, Joe, devastated me. It has been the hardest year of my life, in a life of many hard years. I loved him so much that his being HIV+ only mattered to me because I feared falling in love and him getting sick & dying on me. When I was diagnosed with it, 2 years into our relationship, I was upset, mostly, for our two year old daughter; in fear that she might lose her parents too soon. In all honesty, I was ok to be HIV+ along side of my beloved. Joe was racked with guilt and began to drin heavily but I didn't want to live in a world that he wasn't a part of. Little did I ever imagine, that 5 years from then, he would be murdered in a robbery. What?! Even now, 10 months later, it seems too surreal to be true. And yet it is. He is gone. And I live on for our daughter, as I know he would want. But, he comes to me, almost nightly, in my dreams. I sometimes wonder if it is my own sub-conscious, in so much pain, trying to give me some relief. But, the "Joe dreams" come whether I'm thinking of him or not. And I ache for him when I awake.
This morning, I dreamed that I was stuck somewhere in a place that I didn't know, without a car (someone else drove & wanted to stay) when I got a call from my Joe. He was back! He was not dead (a running theme in my dreams). I was beside myself with excitement, I had to get to him. I started walking, at night, in a scary part of a city I didn't know, with our 7 year old daughter in tow. I came upon a train (another running theme) and got on. Joe was on board! (Joe was killed at the 69th St. Station, in Philly, after falling asleep on the train & missing his stop) But this was not the Philadelphia El train. Anyway, he helped me with all my luggage that I suddenly had. And, Chloë, our daughter, oh how they were thrilled to see each other!
Well, later today, I received news that Joe's mother next door neighbor has put their townhouse up for sale. It would've been a dream for Joe to have his "new" family and his "old" family living next door to each other.(He has a teenaged daughter from an earlier relationship whom I adore.) A big part of me wants to buy it, my daughter sure wants to, but, when Joe died, I stayed with his mom for 3 weeks and I felt him everywhere in that house. His spirit, his essence, even his smell, permeates that house, the house that he grew up in. I was a wreck there. Now, it's almost been a year, I think I'd be stronger but still...to live there without Joe...I'm unsure if it would be wise. We're in Minneapolis now and I know that moving back to Philly would be the best chance we'd have at ever getting this case solved...we weren't supposed to be here this long...but...I'm scared and in so much pain. I will be 46 on the 4th of July. I am a widowed single mother. I am HIV+. And if that weren't enough, I was badly burned & scarred in a house fire in 1981 as a teen. I have no doubt that I will be alone for whatever time I have left. For a diehard romantic like myself, that is just tragic. Not that anyone could ever replace the love Joe & I shared but still...it's so sad to me to know that no one will ever hold me again.
Thanks for reading this even though I'm certain it didn't make a whole lot of sense to you. All I know is, the few hours of sleep that I get a night, is the only time I can be with Joe. And all I want to do is sleep.