I to am so sad this morning.I feel as tho Im leaving my love behind.Now I have to say she passed away last year.So far my pain, my grief is as much today as it was when she passed away.
You want him back to take care of you.I want my love back so I can take care of her.I could not wait for each day to begin so I could wait on her and take care of her.Her coffee in bed, her cereal, her lunch, and on and on.Without her my purpose in life has gone.So far I have not found one thing to help me get on with my life.No books, no well meaning friends, nothing.I do have my memories and the knowledge we will be together again in the next life.
Like you I miss that smile, that hug and kiss, that I love you from that one person that made life worthwhile.They say time makes it better.Im not so sure.
In one verse of our song it says,,At times I may seem far away but never wonder where I am because I am always by your side.That keeps me going to some degree.
The best to us all here.
Last night was the first New Years Eve in 7 years that I did not get my kiss and a picture of that kiss..it was a tradition .. and it hurt like hell when it didn't happen. I chose to take my meds early, send the kids to have some fun with family, lock my door and sleep through the end of what was most definately the worst year of my life. As I look towards my future I will 100% agree that I am doing less living and a lot more " when will I be with Andrew again" ... Seems like it may be an eternity at this rate. I have so much legal things that will be happening in the next 25 days, and get to relive it all.. again. 2008 was hard, 2009 was heartbreaking and 2010 is starting off numb and empty ...
I can't move on and moving forward just doesn't feel right.. I miss my best friend, I miss my feeling of happiness.. and I miss my life that didn't exist until he was part of it.
Miss and love you always Sweetboy.. Andrew 3-17-78 - 4-16-2009