Celia, I am sorry for the loss of your father. After my parents died, I wrote letters to my parents and to God. It helped me. I wrote alot about the time I spent with Dad since I was fortunate to spend the last 3 weeks with him. You can keep it if you want or do not save it. I have not saved everything that I wrote. (that is the great thing about computers, do not have to save the document). If writing is not your thing, maybe just giving your thoughts to God. I also attended grief workshop/s, grief worship service, read more grief books, and somethings just prayed that prays that would bring me comfort and feel close to Dad and Mom. I pictured my parents young again holding hands and running through a field. I told Dad in my thoughts that it was OK for him to join Mom and God. I tried to say it out loud as he layed in bed in the hospital, although I only got part of it out, I was starting to cry. I gave him my blessing if that is what he was to do, Join Mom and God. God Bless You.