My Mom just died

It's so hard knowing that she's finally gone. My rock, my safety net is gone. No more phone calls, no more shopping, no more smiles, telling me everything is going to be all right. No more reminders to count 'to 10' when life gets complicated. It's so hard to know she's gone. She died this past Saturday. I know it will take time, the tears just keep coming. I feel so lost at this moment.

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Permalink Reply by Judy on February 12, 2010 at 11:10am

I know exactly how you feel. Mom lived across the courtyard from me. I saw her everyday, we shared dinner together every night. I miss her more than I can say. She went in to get her pacemaker replaced, 12 days later she died. I'm still numb over that. Still having a hard time sleeping. I'm so sad and tired. I miss the phone calls most of all. I talk to my sister a lot more, but it's just not the same. I miss her humor, her wisdom, her little sayings, her warmth. What can I say? I miss her.

Permalink Reply by Tamara on February 12, 2010 at 11:38am

Judy, hang in there. The road ahead is definitely tough, but you can make the journey. I lost my mother on 12/21/08 unexpectedly and its been the hardest experience of my life. As Ive said before, people tell us that it gets better...but it never really does. Life gets easier to live w/out her, but it definitely doesnt get better. Cry as much as you have to....I still cry almost everyday and its been over a year. Talk to those who will listen, that helps tremendously. Just remember to make your mom proud in everything that you do....

Permalink Reply by ledgewalker on February 15, 2010 at 11:29am

No doubt it will take time, however be thankful you had a good relationship with her. Believe this or not but there are despicable people in this world that only recognize the death of a parent when they are gone, with only a monetary value in mind. I pity them. I know your hurting, but also believe its true from the heart and for that you have my respect and deepest sympathy, for not just you but all those others that are affected by her lose. I wish I had something to say that could relieve your pain but we are all so different, what works for one may not for another. My day has been gone about 2 1/2 years and my mom 8 months, and I’m still in a fog so I wouldn’t be the one for advice. I hate to mimic others but it makes sense when they say “you got to be strong” for those around you that need you as your mom needed you. Take care... Ray,

Permalink Reply by Roberta on February 16, 2010 at 5:07pm

I know how you feel. I just lost my mom on February 11th. I always felt I had a safe and comforting place to go. My mom was always there for me and the role was reversed for the past several years. I spent time with her almost every dayand I can't believe she is gone.

Permalink Reply by Lauran on February 17, 2010 at 12:39pm

Judy, my mom died on November 11. There are still many days when I just fall apart and the tears flow no matter what I'm doing. I am so sorry you also lost your mother.... know that it will take a while to adjust and accept what is. Allow yourself to feel exactly what you feel, you own it. We are all here for you and sympathize greatly.

Lauran

Permalink Reply by Judy on February 22, 2010 at 10:01am

Roberta, I'm sorry for your loss too. Had to clean Mom's frig and pantry this weekend. Hard to believe it's been 3 wks since she's gone. We have milestones coming up, my niece's confirmaton/graduation. It's just so sad that she's not going to be there for these occasions.

Permalink Reply by Jenny on February 22, 2010 at 10:10am

Dear Judy, I know how you feel. I lost my mom Feb.7th and the reality of it is just now starting to hit me. Seeing other people with their moms is hard because I know her and I will never have any more special time together. We were so close, always had a very special bond, she was my best friend. I feel lost too, empty and so lonely, even surrounded by my awesome family and friends. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real either. I've been trying to focus on how lucky I was to have her in my life. Trying to remember how grateful I am for every single memory I have of her, grateful for having such a loving, caring, sweet mom and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. We might have lost them but we will never lose the love they gave us or the memories we have of them. Hold on to that as much as you can. *hugs*

Permalink Reply by Rosemary on February 22, 2010 at 5:55pm

I know exactly what you are going through. My mom passed away Feb. 2, 2010 and I feel so lost, too! I feel like someone has sucked the air out of me and I can't breath anymore. I never thought I could feel this much pain and still function. God Bless us all and give us the strength to go on.

Permalink Reply by Felicia on February 22, 2010 at 6:53pm

Judy,
There isn't much to say that will make you feel better, but that doesn't mean that words don't help. It's something that you will feel forever, but the way it feels will change. My mom has been gone for almost eight months. It still hurts very much. The last time I cried was yesterday. I know it's very fresh for you and I'm so sorry for your pain. Please just try to remember the good times that you had with your mom. For me, I feel like I began to lose my faith somewhat, because I prayed so much and so hard for God to fix this and give my mother more time, but that didn't happen. Now, I'm getting back to my faith and relizing that this seperation isn't permanent. If you are religious, think about that. Judy, it is a severe feeling of loss. I do understand. Nothing that anyone can say will make the feelings of lonliness, frustration, depression, anger, etc. go away. I will just say that if you need anything, please let me know. Even if it's only to talk. Hugs and Love....Felicia

Permalink Reply by Tina Clark on February 22, 2010 at 10:42pm

I know how you feel. My mom just passed away on Feb 6 which was on a Saturday. I miss her so much. Everything I do and see reminds me of her and things she said. I have had her all my life and now she is gone, but I feel her spirit within me more than anything.

Permalink Reply by Tina Clark on February 22, 2010 at 10:45pm

Judy said:

Tina, thank you for your kind words. We had the memorial service on the 6th. It was a very special day, Mom would have been proud! It was great to see all the old friends and family, we even went to a restaurant that had some of her favorite foods. Thank God I was surrounded by family, the aftermath left such a huge whole, wishing that it was under different circumstances. My sister's 50th birthday was a day later. No one wanted to celebrate.

Permalink Reply by Tina Clark on February 22, 2010 at 10:49pm

Yes, Judy. I went to California this past weekend for my mom's memorial service and internment. She is with my dad at the VA Cemetery in Riverside. I know that they will be together now for eternity and that is comforting to me, even though now I am left an orphan. I saw friends and family that I haven't seen in years. It is nice to know that so many people thought highly of my mother. She was loved by everyone. We also went to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants for lunch after the cemetery. now I am back here and at work. Life has to go on. She is with me every moment of the day and night.