Cherished keepsakes

When we lose someone close to us, it can help to have mementos of the times we spent together. Do you have a cherished keepsake of your loved one? What is it, and what does it mean to you?

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Permalink Reply by Cthomas on March 16, 2010 at 8:19pm

I've found comfort in three things since my Dad passed away last month... his college ring (he was so proud of getting his degree), the autographed Willie Mays ball I gave him last Christmas, and his Mickey Mantle t-shirt which, after a washing, inexplicably shrunk up to fit me perfectly! My Mom has let me put anything of his that I want in my room because she knows having his things around makes me feel better. I appreciate that so much.

Permalink Reply by Gina on March 18, 2010 at 6:49pm

My mom passed away in 2005 and I keep a crocheted tablecloth that she used to put out for special occassions. I love that tablecloth and bring it out on Thanksgiving.

My dad passed away two weeks ago and I have his military medals as well as his t shirts right now they are put away because the pain is so deep right now that I can't bring them out at this point.

Permalink Reply by Bobbi on March 23, 2010 at 12:13am

Mama bought me a ceramic sleeping teddy bear on a soft "mattress" on one of the last shopping trips we had because she said I liked to sleep all the time. I plead guilty of the charge because at that particuliar time, I was severely anemic. The bear is still on his mattress sleeping away! I wouldn't part with it for anything in this world...Bobbi

Permalink Reply by Bobbi on March 23, 2010 at 12:23am

Dear Gina
My sympathy on the passing of your Dad. Mine passed in 1992 and I know the pain you are in. I was holding Daddy in my arms when he took his last breath. He had been ill for some time from a series of CVAs aka strokes. It is so hard to let a parent go even if we can't do anything about it. As we both know, death of a loved one is totally out of our hands. We just have to believe that God knows best. I pray God gives you peace. When Mama passed this past Mother's Day May 10, 2009, I kept some of her outfits...mostly things that she wore for everyday. People think I am nuts for wearing her clothes, but why not? She was a wonderful mother and worked hard all her life to make the best life she could for her children. I feel closer to her if I have one of her blouses or whatever on. I know it would please her to know that I am doing this instead of sending them to a thrift store or in the garbage. May God be with you Gina. It takes time, but things will eventually get better... Lovingly, Bobbi

Gina said:

My mom passed away in 2005 and I keep a crocheted tablecloth that she used to put out for special occassions. I love that tablecloth and bring it out on Thanksgiving.

My dad passed away two weeks ago and I have his military medals as well as his t shirts right now they are put away because the pain is so deep right now that I can't bring them out at this point.

Permalink Reply by Gina on March 30, 2010 at 1:51pm

Thank you Bobbi,

Life just is not fair, thank you for your prayers :)

Bobbi said:

Dear Gina
My sympathy on the passing of your Dad. Mine passed in 1992 and I know the pain you are in. I was holding Daddy in my arms when he took his last breath. He had been ill for some time from a series of CVAs aka strokes. It is so hard to let a parent go even if we can't do anything about it. As we both know, death of a loved one is totally out of our hands. We just have to believe that God knows best. I pray God gives you peace. When Mama passed this past Mother's Day May 10, 2009, I kept some of her outfits...mostly things that she wore for everyday. People think I am nuts for wearing her clothes, but why not? She was a wonderful mother and worked hard all her life to make the best life she could for her children. I feel closer to her if I have one of her blouses or whatever on. I know it would please her to know that I am doing this instead of sending them to a thrift store or in the garbage. May God be with you Gina. It takes time, but things will eventually get better... Lovingly, Bobbi

Gina said:
My mom passed away in 2005 and I keep a crocheted tablecloth that she used to put out for special occassions. I love that tablecloth and bring it out on Thanksgiving.

My dad passed away two weeks ago and I have his military medals as well as his t shirts right now they are put away because the pain is so deep right now that I can't bring them out at this point.

Permalink Reply by debbie flores on August 30, 2010 at 3:52pm

It is this exact type of situation I'm facing now. My partner passed 14 months ago, following a months stay in the hospital after becoming ill suddenly. His adult & older children were given opportunity to deal with their grief & chose their own ways of dealing with it. Even the opportunites of counseling & group were offered to them. I attended about 9 months of counseling & group myself. Attempting to involve the adult/children as much as possible. We celebrated his birthday & anniversary of his passing, as well as the holidays together. Now they want closure, I've had my closure & griefed tremendiously the past year, I continue to hold his memory & all that I learned from this experience very important to me.
Most recently they are continually questioning & challenging the situation concerning their fathers belongings.
Their father & I had been in a relationship for the past ten years prior to his passing. I shared a home with him.The home I have been raising my own children in. Their father did not have alot of personal possesions. He had jewelry, that was important to him, the jewelry was given to his children, grandchildren & even their mother. I kept 3 pieces as well. His children requested his birds,of which there were quite a few. It was agreed they would take the birds & cages, they never came to collect them. After some months, they were given away. Same with his clothes, after months they were donated. Nobody wanted to come foward & deal with the responsibilities of any of it, including any finals costs or arrangements. Of which I sold the only major things he owned to cover alot of the costs. The rest I gladly covered. Now they want to have what few items I have chossen to keep. Even attempting to guilt me into giving the items to them. I feel torn by this situation. There was not alot to begin with so, what little I have is important to me. They were given the chance to collect items & did not, now they want to question & bother me with what was done. Telling me they have no closure over the loss of their father. I have a lovely home, of which I have built up myself & it's as if they expect me to disassemble my home for them. Even the few items he added were, added to our home. Their father moved into our home & built his life here. We did not move into their home. Therefore I believe these items are mine & need to remain here where he wanted them to be. I'am torn by these feelings. I care about the children, but this is my life. The life between their father & I.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 3, 2011 at 1:10am

To many this may sound silly yet of all the many things that the 3 loved owned in my family that have just passed that are here with me that I seem to keep nearest to me , at least in most corners of my house . Our pictures of each of them wishing I had a picture though of my Mother Father and Sister together yet if you knew my Father he never like having his picture taken in the first place so who was the first one to jump up to take them all the time ,yes you are right if you guessed him. Though somehow I have a few of the each maybe there is a reason for this , so to see them each for who they were and for how I loved them . There is one special picture that has not left my side since my Sister has pasted when I try to sleep , one that I lay right on my heart as though I hope she hears or feels how much I love her . Maybe the hearing part may not be one that is apt to help for I am not sure if my heart beats half the time anymore . My parents pictures are right in front for me to see as I say good night and good morning to them each day . This is not the usual keepsake yet one now that seems to be one that holds some comfort for maybe I can look into the soul of their eyes of what and how that truly could love . Which was endless . A love that I was blessed to have . A love I hoped to give back . Yet time seemed to run out before I was able to truly show them how grateful I was to have them in my life . Why did time stop . Maybe this is why, after these months have passed day I can not wear a watch .

Though at least in the time we had Love was apart of it and will continue to be in my heart this love for them .

May the keepsake of love be one that we all can hold close to our hearts.

Take Care

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 8, 2011 at 2:54am

Dear Legacy Friends , I can not believe I have done this but I did . I found myself going back to the a place I donated a great deal of my Sisters ' Items standing at the counter with a something that was hers buying it back . Isn't this crazy . I am so surprise I was able to even walk to the store to begin with for I feared I would see her things there , yet in my insanity in these last months so to try to get from functioning to maybe living again I though I needed to push myself to places I most hesitated or ever feared . .

Well this item hangs in my closet I know I can never wear it for she was at least half the size I am . Wishing that was a good thing to say but he medical condition took so much of her and she was so small , yet so enormous when I thought of her then and now . Just because of all the love she was still able to give . Her heart of generosity was what she would wake up with and go to sleep with . This is who she just was . Though why did I think those silly pants would make some kind of difference if to buy them back .

Was it the the memory of us going that day and laughing and having lunch before as we often would together . Or was it that she ask me" if I thought she would look good in them " . Of course she looked good in everything . Was it that we went back 2 times before she actually bought them and took them home . Or was it the she never had a chance to wear them for time ended before we knew it would .

I know silly thing to share , one that must be coming from some deep cavern of pain . Yet all I can say if other ever have to and this is not to blame or point a finger as all if done and over . Take your time , even to keep a silly pair of pants , do not let other rush you and tell you that all must go . For this is all I heard from the first moment I return . Shock and bewildered that I was told she did not give a 30 day notice before she died yet management wanted of course what is it I found sadly their priority the rent for the next month , yet they wanted every out so to show the apartment . Was I thinking quite right at the time, far from it . Numb was more of how it was . Sometimes I think others can see this as much as I tried to cover , yet even in that they wanted me to get all of her items packed up , even those "silly pants " I actually should have 30 days though since paid for now , though did this matter to anyone for all was packed up and gone as though she was just a faint memories .

Yet for me she will always be and forever be within my heart

and

her" silly pants" will will stay with me .

A silly story to share today that for some reason is bringing me pain today . Is it the loss of my Sister , the memories or actions of others around me . I am not sure .

Please take care to all .

Permalink Reply by Margie Dovale on March 15, 2011 at 7:52pm

I save alot of my daughters belongings. Everything from trinkets to books and CD's
But my favorite is a beautiful yellow dress that she wore to my wedding. She looked stunning! Little did I know two months later she would be murdered. Sometimes I take her dress and bury my face in it and I can still smell her scent. I hope it never goes away!

Permalink Reply by debbie flores on March 15, 2011 at 9:01pm

We had just moved before My Honey passed, in our entry way I had hung his special glass curio cabinet 18"X12" with 3 small glass shelves. I loaded it full of all his tiny favorites keepsakes. All sorts of things, toys, seashells, a dry seahorse & a beautiful enamel egg. Then little by little as we came across small mementos, we placed them inside. Now 2 years later we still very often open up the cabinet to admire & play with the little trinkets. Whenever I stand in front of it, it always brings a smile to my face.

Now with my mom passing only 90 days ago, we've finished clearing out her home & are working at blending alot of her beautiful keepsakes in with our own, plus My Honeys'. I must say we've done a great job of making everything look as if it belongs together. I've even tried to remove some of My Honeys' keepsakes to make room for my moms things. To my surprise the kids have insisted, I only add & not remove.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 16, 2011 at 4:00am

Dear debbie flores, I would like to extend my heart felt thoughts for you , for the loss of your "Honey" which brought a smile to my face each time I read this endearing word for him. Yet sadness comes also as I can only imagine what or how you must have been feeling these last couple of years as well as your children . As well not with the passing of your Mother who just recently passed away .

The image of how you put together all the items and placed them in an area that you could come to just look at full of memories of times of yesterdays of a life and time you spent with him was beautiful in how you described it .

As you now doing the same for you Mother which is such a wonderful thing to do also and as your children may have mentioned it holds such meaning to what you had done for their father . Forever memories that they too have to hold , and a place to come and reminisce .

Such a wonderful way for anyone to maybe do this if they have a few items of their loved ones .

For me when reading all I could imagine was one taking a pause in a day , a time for memories and love to come freely as they did when their loved one was alive . I know for me I would néed a box of kleenex for sure as so many things come to mind seeing anything of my Fathers or Mothers or Sisters that I may still have . Although maybe that is why I have a box in almost every corner of my home at this point ant time . Yet it seems you have made yours as though it is a special place , to come to in your home . Surprising how that is that even in that , maybe it is a chance to just stop and allow one to know and feel what they have inside . Something I rarely allow myself to do at all .

Wonderful and comforting , yet sadness for you and your family . Please take care and the best to all of you .

Blessing to all

Permalink Reply by brenda robinson on January 2, 2012 at 8:27am

I just lost my Husband of 33 years and after his passing I took a lock of his hair and I bought my daughter, granddaughters, and myself a memory box locket and had his hair put in each one and sealed to never come open so now we have him with us daily, I wear mine each day :)