Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chris B on April 6, 2010 at 9:22pm

Some links for memorial jewelry that I found:

Silver ring with gold teardrop:
http://www.overstock.com/Jewelry-Watches/Sterling-Silver-Memorial-S...

Silver ring with silver teardrop:
http://www.overstock.com/Jewelry-Watches/Sterling-Silver-Memorial-R...

Ring holder necklace (a friend gave me this and I wear my husband's ring on it):
http://www.intimeofsorrow.com/jr35032.html

http://www.InTimeOfSorrow.com also has lockets, and http://www.CremationJewelry.net has cremation necklaces.

Permalink Reply by Diane on April 6, 2010 at 11:36pm

Thank-you so much Chris for the information I went & check out a few of them & it looks like it has exactly what I want to get especially the In Time Of Sorrow website. Maybe others will check it out & find something that they might like. I feel like having a locket with some ashes will some how comfort me to have him with me. Thank-you again... Diane

Permalink Reply by Brigitte on April 7, 2010 at 3:19pm

My husband of 26 years died on July 17, 2009. I will always miss his big bear like hugs, his kisses, his "have a great day" and his beautiful smile and blue eyes. The feelings of lonliness are overwhelming sometimes. I do remember the good times, but like all of you in here we also have that bad time -- the time of our spouses illness, pain, deterioration for some, and the list goes on. Having a spouse die suddenly or over time doesn't matter -- death is death and all of us has lost our most special friend and partner. Everyone else's life continues but ours has taken a turn somewhere on the road of life. It is a turn that came up suddenly, much like that ramp exit off of the freeway that we missed (on purpose), but this time we turned without knowing what to expect.

I still buy his favorite food (my food bank loves to see me coming), I see a shirt he would have loved and buy it, things like that. Just because our old normal is gone our love isn't and we will continue to do these things for quite sometime. I have not determined what my new normal is yet. And I am not in such a hurry to find out either. I loved Douglas with all of my heart and that will never change. The Celebration of Life party is this weekend (April 10th) and it is my hope that I will be able to continue the journey of my new normal knowing that Douglas is happy and out of pain, watching over me and others, and that whatever it is I choose to do he would approve and support.

The term widow is simply that -- a term. I am still married, period! I wear his wedding band (after resizing), had the two hearts that are on his wedding band tattooed on my shoulder with our initials, and I wear his watch every night when I go to bed. I purchased a tear drop necklace that will hold some ashes (Douglas was cremated) and that keeps him close to my heart. Call it whatever you like -- but it gives me comfort and peace. I feel like my heart has a window -- and I look through it every day waiting for Douglas to return. I am lucky to have been blessed by having this wonderful man in my life. And in the words of the poem by Ruth Ann Mahaffey, "and when it is time for you to go from that body to be free, remember you are not going, you are coming here to me."

Think of me on April 10th -- and just know I love, respect, and cherish each of you on this site. You have helped me tremendously -- and I treasure your friendship.

In peace,

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by Hurting on April 7, 2010 at 10:03pm

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 15 weeks ago and am still hurting. We were married for 29 years and I have 3 boys 15, 23 & 24. So far I haven't even been able to visit anybody in family or my friends. I can relate to all of your feelings because I am experiencing everything that you are. I have to believe that one day pain will be bearable and memories might bring a smile back in our eyes. But for now we have to cry.

Yours in pain

Permalink Reply by Deb on April 8, 2010 at 12:07am

Brigitte,

You always say things so eloquently! I hope that your Celebration of Life this weekend is everything that you hope it will be. God lets each of deal with our grief the best way that we can, and I think that is a beautiful idea. Please update us with your results for the weekend. Know that you are and will be in my prayers, especially this weekend!

Debbie

Brigitte said:

My husband of 26 years died on July 17, 2009. I will always miss his big bear like hugs, his kisses, his "have a great day" and his beautiful smile and blue eyes. The feelings of lonliness are overwhelming sometimes. I do remember the good times, but like all of you in here we also have that bad time -- the time of our spouses illness, pain, deterioration for some, and the list goes on. Having a spouse die suddenly or over time doesn't matter -- death is death and all of us has lost our most special friend and partner. Everyone else's life continues but ours has taken a turn somewhere on the road of life. It is a turn that came up suddenly, much like that ramp exit off of the freeway that we missed (on purpose), but this time we turned without knowing what to expect.

I still buy his favorite food (my food bank loves to see me coming), I see a shirt he would have loved and buy it, things like that. Just because our old normal is gone our love isn't and we will continue to do these things for quite sometime. I have not determined what my new normal is yet. And I am not in such a hurry to find out either. I loved Douglas with all of my heart and that will never change. The Celebration of Life party is this weekend (April 10th) and it is my hope that I will be able to continue the journey of my new normal knowing that Douglas is happy and out of pain, watching over me and others, and that whatever it is I choose to do he would approve and support.

The term widow is simply that -- a term. I am still married, period! I wear his wedding band (after resizing), had the two hearts that are on his wedding band tattooed on my shoulder with our initials, and I wear his watch every night when I go to bed. I purchased a tear drop necklace that will hold some ashes (Douglas was cremated) and that keeps him close to my heart. Call it whatever you like -- but it gives me comfort and peace. I feel like my heart has a window -- and I look through it every day waiting for Douglas to return. I am lucky to have been blessed by having this wonderful man in my life. And in the words of the poem by Ruth Ann Mahaffey, "and when it is time for you to go from that body to be free, remember you are not going, you are coming here to me."

Think of me on April 10th -- and just know I love, respect, and cherish each of you on this site. You have helped me tremendously -- and I treasure your friendship.

In peace,

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by Kim Hawkins on April 8, 2010 at 10:48am

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone today. Know matter how ling it has been since our love one has passed the pain and hurt is still there. I can talk about Barry when it comes to things we did together and all our happy memories. I cry at times when I have to talk to someone about him passing away. I have had to tell the story of what happened more times than I can remember. I still see people that does not know about his passing. It has been 22 months and 3 days. Barry and I were blessed with so many friends and family. But there is nowhere I go I dont see someone I know. Sometimes that is hard and sometimes it is a comfort. But the pain deep inside hurts everyday. I dont think my heart will ever be the same . I just ask God to give me strength everyday. My 15 and 6 year olds get me though most days. If it was not for them I could not get out of bed most days. I am a photographer and I have decided I need to start doing that again. While Barry was scik and after he passed I could not bring myself to work. He was my biggest supporter when he can to me taken pictures. He always made sure I had all the equipment I needed and was just there to encourge me. I know he would want me to contiune with this. It did feel good to be taken photographs again. I have always said these are memories that last a lifetime and since he has passed and I look though all the pictures we took together and the memories I know I am to continue to give people great memories to share.

Permalink Reply by Deb Lier on April 8, 2010 at 11:00am

Diane said:

I'm sorry Kim about the confusion,that's what happens when you can't sleep & up at 2 am.

Connie where did you fine the Memorial ring ?? I would very much like to get one, and also a heart pendant so I can put some ashes in it. The funeral home had some that I could order but they were very expensive & the assistant there told me I'd be better to buy on line for a better price, but I don't know from which company to order from. If someone could offer any advice it would be appreciated. Thanks, Diane

Permalink Reply by Deb Lier on April 8, 2010 at 11:03am

There is a site called "Perfect Memorials"- that has anything you could possible want- I ordered an urn for my husband, which was received very timely- and I just ordered a tiny urn on Monday and received notice that it will be delivered today- no fee for shipping unless you want a guaranteed day- very good company

So sad for your loss

Deb Lier said:

Diane said:

I'm sorry Kim about the confusion,that's what happens when you can't sleep & up at 2 am.

Connie where did you fine the Memorial ring ?? I would very much like to get one, and also a heart pendant so I can put some ashes in it. The funeral home had some that I could order but they were very expensive & the assistant there told me I'd be better to buy on line for a better price, but I don't know from which company to order from. If someone could offer any advice it would be appreciated. Thanks, Diane

Permalink Reply by Connie on April 8, 2010 at 7:08pm

Hi Dianne

I found the ring on "Personal Creations" website. The ring is sterling silver and cost me about $50, somewhere in that ballpark. It is very pretty. It is a teardrop with a rose at the bottom. I wear it with my wedding ring. I also found there a "reunion heart" which is a sterling silver heart with a small cutout in the shape of a teardrop. The cutout is to signify the part of your heart that your husband took with him when he passed. The hole in your heart will be there until you are reunited with him. I also bought one for my very dear friend who lost her husband 11 years ago. We were all very close and even vacationed together. Our kids grew up with her kids. My husband and her husband were like the brother neither of them had. We both wear them all the time. We are able to cry together and sometimes laugh together. It is so good for me to have her though because I can call her any time of the day or night and she will be there for me.

I do not consider myself a "widow". I think that is such a terrible word. In my mind and my heart, I will always be married. As my friend says, "when you have had the best you don't need the rest." My husband was a great husband, father and grandfather. I will be married to him for the rest of my life. I used to be afraid of dying but now I know when I pass, I will be next to him holding his hand. I miss him so very, very much. It will be 5 months tomorrow and it has been sheer agony. Please say a prayer for me because I know it will not be an easy day.

I am sure we will all get through this and, although we will never stop hurting or missing our spouse, maybe it will become a little easier to bear.

Permalink Reply by jan on April 9, 2010 at 6:49am

Hi Kim...I too lost my husband of 32 yrs 12/09. My sons are 27 and 25 and yes it hurts! He was my best friend we had a great marriage. He had bile duct cancer and lasted for 2 yrs it was awful no one should die like that. I cry every day don't know how I'm going to make it either but we will. Stay strong hug your boys!

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page