Getting through the FIRSTS.

It's been 4 months since I lost the love of my life after 39 yrs. together and 36 yrs of marriage. Christmas was one of my firsts without him..then New year's, Valentine's day, Easter, my birthday, and coming home to an empty house after being away for a while. Is it me or does everyone find it harder each time there is a first? I am worried about the first anniversary in Oct. I think it will be the hardest thing for me along with his first birthday. A friend told me that Christmas next year will be worse than this past one because this one was only 12 days after his death and it was all such a blur.
Can anyone relate to this? I don't think I am dealing with this as good as some people think I should but THEY didn't have the love I had for him...it is sooooo different for them. I am devastated.

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Permalink Reply by Marian on May 5, 2010 at 10:19pm

Thank you Peg-I needed to hear that - I will pull it together to make his day special! How are you feeling? My prayers are with you as well.

Marian said:

Peg Otley said:
Marian,
Your sons graduation is going to be hard but remember, his Dad will be there in all your hearts. On the other hand, he worked hard to get where he is and that cannot be taken away from him. That day is HIS day so pull every ounce of strength you can muster and celebrate (knowing his dad is watching and smiling with all of you). My prayers are with you all.

Marian said:
I understand what you are all saying regarding holiday or special day" firsts", although I haven't had that many yet-my husband of 31 years died on January 16th-but I have had plenty of other "firsts" that have been traumatic..settling medical bills, doing taxes alone, fixing things that seem to be breaking everyday, selling and buying a car, bills, accounts, decisions that I never had to make alone...and my son's upcoming College Graduation in two weeks...HELP!

Permalink Reply by Sage on May 6, 2010 at 7:25am

Hi Peg and all other grieving spouses..

I don't know if I'll even know how to get back to this site but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.. I lost my husband 9 days before this past Christmas. I left the house for a short time - came back home and he was gone. I thought i'd go crazy.. I love him, I miss him and life turned up side down over night.. We are married for 44 years the 15th of May (this month) so i'm going through all the "firsts" too. I cry about every day but I feel like I could cry and cry until I see him again.. I just turned 19 years old when we were married. I have 2 little dogs and a cat and these pets are the greatest blessing to me.. I can't imagine life with out them (or a pet of some kind).. These little animals greet me each time I come home and this has helped me so much in coping.. Like I said - I don't know if i'll know how to get right here in this site but if any of you would like to be in contact via e-mail my address is jennifer_rose_1@hotmail.com God bless you all.. Maybe we can be a support to each other..