I've never done anything like this before. I lost my mom 3 years ago to brain cancer. She fought it for 7 months. I was 20 when she passed away. I feel like I still have not grieved for her because I feel like I am in a position to where I have to be the 'the strong one' and it has been that way since she died. I was the one always taking care of business. I've tried seeing counselors but I have a huge issue talking to people face to face. I always am friendly and have a smile; however, I'm always hiding how I feel. She was my best friend. The hardest thing for me is not being able to pick up my phone and call her. It hurts so unbelievably bad; it seems like that it should be easier since it has been 3 years. I feel crazy for wanting to just scream and cry and when I am about to let it out, I stop myself because I don't want to appear week. I just want to know that I'm not crazy and what I am going through is normal.