pain and anger

I lost my son on May 26th. He was stationed at Ft. Stewartand was living off base. His roommate found him. He had hung himself.
This was my only son and my heart is breaking more and more everyday. The pain almost takes away my breathe. I just can't believe this is real. I have been strong but I am tired of it - I am HURTING and I am MAD!!!! I don't know at what exactly but just mad as heck. I can't remember some of the simplest things that I am supposed to do. I just want him to come home so I can hug him, kiss him and tell him I love him. He will always be my sweet little boy even though he was 20. I have a horrible sick feeling in my stomach. God help me with this. I think I am getting worse and not better.

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Permalink Reply by Kathy Morey on August 31, 2010 at 10:48am

My heart aches for you ....I once said that the worse thing that happened to me was my brothers suicide but you know losing one of my sons would be so bad to.....Yup I undderstand you being tired of being strong....I get like that..some days I just want to stay in bed but nope I go to work..then I to get mad..but not sure at what..never at Bobby because I think his pain was far greater then what I am going through because I am still here....I wish I could take your pain away and give you some answers..I wish I knew what to say..I am so sorry for your loss....20 is very young to die ........