I have only been graced with subtle signs from my son since his death. The kind of events that could be described as coincidences or dismissed as imagination or wishful thinking. I think I may have connected with him while dreaming and I am grateful for that anyway. I had a lot more of these things happen early on and a lot less now that I'm four years out in this grief. I wish he could materialize in front of me and that I could hug him and exchange I Love Yous. But I have to admit that even then I would start missing him again once he disappeared. I just want him back in my life and nothing short of that is going to make me happy. I wake saying his name each morning and I cry for him nearly every night as I go to sleep. I cant imagine that ever changing. He was my baby and I loved him dearly--I still do and will forever. I'm disappointed in myself that I haven't disciplined myself to meditate effectively. When I try to raise my consciousness to connect with him I just experience images of him and get upset and my concentration ends. I haven't looked for a medium as I am just too distrustful for that. If they take my money they have to tell me something whether it's true or not. A woman in her 60s shows up and it doesn't take a genius or a psychic to know she lost an adult child. Probably a son and probably to an accident and nearly always involving a "heaviness" in the chest area. Is there any death that doesn't involve difficulty breathing??? REALLY. The vast majority of deaths of young adults were unexpected and sudden so that will be a "hit" nearly always. Most people seeking mediums are not trying to connect with elderly loved ones. They are trying to connect with adult children the vast majority of the time. I have a niece who is psychic so I know they exist, but she doesn't consider it a blessing nor has she ever considered making money from it. For the most part, her so called "clear" seeing, hearing, smelling and feeling have terrorized her and she has not wanted to cultivate it. I have to believe most genuine psychics feel the way she does and have not entered the "market". I read nearly all of James Van Praagh's books and I think he is a showman (He had aspired to be an actor and indeed is) and nothing more. Once you have read 200 or more books on the subject you find that nothing he says is new. He only rehashes what others have written before him. Teresa Caputo may have some underlying ability but she definitely plays the odds and resorts to the "heaviness in the chest" routine way too much. Also, what's with the J name stuff that John Edwards relies on so heavily. He's psychic so why can't he ever just say the name? And why does everyone on the other side use the expression "I'm OK"?? Have they lost their capacity for language on the other side??? Whether they were an english major at Harvard or an immigrant unfamiliar with english, they always report they are "OK". It's all just way too predictable. Sorry for my rant but I believe we all home some psychic ability in us to varying degrees but I don't trust those who take advantage of grieving parents for money. If they hold down a job to support themselves and ask for only reimbursement of direct expenses then I believe that they are using their abilities to help the bereaved out of the kindness of their heart. If on the other hand they are living off the bereaved and promoting themselves by writing books, giving performances, etc. then they are con artists and the lowest form of parasite.
When my son was killed five years ago. I knew very little of any existence of life after death. No formal belief of any kind. I thought that mediums were few, only for the elite to ever have an audience with and I wasn't at all sure that I believed in their true, honest abilities. My son must have know that it would take extreme measures to attempt to bring me any peace at all with his death and he went to great lengths to help me to heal.
I have a blog and web site as well as a book that I have written with many messages and miracles that I have been blessed to hear. Many of these messages are my experiences and many are from total strangers. My purpose to share these miracles is to bring any peace possible to someone that is grieving for a loved one. The messages and miracles may not change the fact that your loved one is not physically here with you any longer and it won't change the fact that you miss them more than feels bearable. But I believe that these messages and my story are meant to help us through our most difficult times....grieving our loved ones.
I hope that you will open your mind and heart to visit my blog and web site. My wish is that is may bring you peace in your heart.