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I believe in the supernatural so much so that I really want to find a medium or someone that can communicate with my son on the other side. If anyone knows of someone like that I would be so very grateful to get their contact information. I just want to tell him goodbye. I live in Fort Worth, Texas. Thank you and thank God for this web site.
God Bless
Genevia, Mom of Cory
My dad and I have the same birthday, July 3rd, that day, too, was the day my big brother died. It's only been 6 month's and 20 days, since my brother left us. My day's are long and lonely, but I can only get through them because I have my four children and a husband. He was a great loss to our family, and I will always miss him dearly. Two day's after he died, I was sleeping not soundly but enough to know that I felt something. When he was alive and whenever I saw him, before he would leave he would give me a big bear hug and kiss my cheek or my neck and would always tell me he loved me. Well, that night, when I was in between sleep and awake, I felt a warmness, like a kiss on my neck that brought a chill, I sat up, because I was on my side. There was nobody else in our room, and it was'nt my husband because he was sound asleep. I cried to myself because I felt like that was our last contact ever that,that was his way of saying good-bye. At that exact moment, I was overwhelmed with saddness but with reassurence that he still was there. Other family member's do have dreams of him and tell us of them. That helps, too, to know that he is still around spriturally. I love you, brother, and I miss you so much!!!!
Well, I wasn't quite sure if I am ready for this, but I feel today I am. My son, who turned 21 on Ausust 31st, died in a one car accident on Sept 21 08...there were 7 people crammed into the suv, and for some reason, my son with an IQ over 150 took the cargo area in back with another young man.
The driver was apparently driving 70 mph in town through a residential area, he blew through a stop sign, and went about 1/4 mile down a church parking lot, barely hitting his brakes and drove off a cliff, when he did so, he must have seen the large trees and turned his wheel to the right, causing them to flip when they hit some metal cable barrier cables.
This vehicle looked like it had not even been in an accident, except the back 4 feet where my son and the other young man were.The neither of them, died from the top of the truck pushing them into the bottom, but both died a senseless death of positional asphyxia, due to all the others just running and not helping them.
My life feels like it has caved in on me. He was my baby of 4 children, and just weeks earlier when I was in the hospital he worked at we spent a lot of time together, I needed forgiveness from him, and told him how bad I felt that he got the bad end of the deal all of the time, my divorce was when he was 12, so even when it was time for his first car, his step dad didn't get him one as he did the others.
I think we both felt, crazy as it sounds, that we didn't want to be responsible for handing him a car to kill himself in...he had ADD and when I finally gave him my car at graduation, he had had 4 small-med accident in it in 6 months.
I decided to have him sign the car back over to me, I had always had nightmares as did others in the family, that he would go this way.He reallly hated me awhile for taking the car back, but I couldn't live with that guilt if that call ever came...you know...the call all parents have nightmares about when they're children are working to become adults?
I got that call about 10 am on sunday, sept 21...I had been single and lived alone for 6 yrs prior to this accident, the day before I just happened to move in with a male room mate.
When my older son called, just hearing him crying, my body went numb...his wife got on the phone...I didnt hear much...John...accident...I said but he is ok!! he is ok right?
she just said noooo and I lost my mind screaming, I fell and thank God there were people around, I was 3 hours away from where the rest of the family lived, that was the longest ride of my life.
I am so thankful that just weeks before we made our peace, well he let me know it was no big deal and he understood now WHY I did it...my son had just become a man...and now he is gone.
I feel part of my heart was taken with him, because his body was considered a 'crime scene' I couldn't see him, so the coroner showed me pics from the scene...if I can give any mom advice, I would have to say, dont look..I feel his injuries, I will wake up feeling crushed with my throat closed in pure panic.And those images never leave my mind...I see his beautiful pics and immediatly my mind flashes to how he looked 15 yrs older after he died..those minutes it took him to die, my God, I wish I could have taken that for him.I would have taken his place without a second thought, but now I am left with a ton of unanswered questions, none makes any sense, none of his injuries were fatal (dislocated shoulder and 2 broken ribs)his left arm was reached over the back seat where he was holding his friends hand as he died, he first grabbed him, and apparently all he could do is hold his hand, he only will say John was "stoic" meaning he was the only one in the car not screaming, makes sense since I know his airway was compromised.
This is the only time in 20 yrs I wish I wasn't a nurse, but how hard is it if u can reach a hand, to move a head? God I am so filled with questions...I cried on the hill above where he died talking to him a week or so after, begging him to let me know somehow that he didn't suffer...I was rocking back and forth on the edge of the cliff...I jumped up suddenly realizing I had relaxed so deeply I almost fell asleep, I had a warmth I hadn't felt since my last hug from him..a second conversation with him I had at the cemetery,I was telling him I just wanted to be with him...it was a beautiful almost indian summer September...very few clouds in the sky..as soon as I said I wanted to join him the 1 cloud up there covered the sun and it got very cold...John was a comedian in life..always trying to make people feel better, so my immediate response to the chill was OK! OK! I know I have to stay here and I have family still to look after..the sun then shone again brightly and it warmed up again...my family doesn't believe once your dead you can communicate..so as I told my daughter this she asked..mom...do you need to go to a Hospital?? I said, noo...he let me know, he was ok.
I also heard him at the cliff as I was relaxing, right before I almost fell asleep I hear " Don't cry mommy, don't cry" over and over like a cheer, and every few times there was a second voice (I lost a baby during pregnancy) That really shocked me..but that is how I chose to interpret it.
It's been a little over 4 months now, and the loss is as raw as it was 4 months ago, so I thought I might come here and communicate with other moms.
Thank you for your time..
Carie
Well, I wasn't quite sure if I am ready for this, but I feel today I am. My son, who turned 21 on Ausust 31st, died in a one car accident on Sept 21 08...there were 7 people crammed into the suv, and for some reason, my son with an IQ over 150 took the cargo area in back with another young man.
The driver was apparently driving 70 mph in town through a residential area, he blew through a stop sign, and went about 1/4 mile down a church parking lot, barely hitting his brakes and drove off a cliff, when he did so, he must have seen the large trees and turned his wheel to the right, causing them to flip when they hit some metal cable barrier cables.
This vehicle looked like it had not even been in an accident, except the back 4 feet where my son and the other young man were.The neither of them, died from the top of the truck pushing them into the bottom, but both died a senseless death of positional asphyxia, due to all the others just running and not helping them.
My life feels like it has caved in on me. He was my baby of 4 children, and just weeks earlier when I was in the hospital he worked at we spent a lot of time together, I needed forgiveness from him, and told him how bad I felt that he got the bad end of the deal all of the time, my divorce was when he was 12, so even when it was time for his first car, his step dad didn't get him one as he did the others.
I think we both felt, crazy as it sounds, that we didn't want to be responsible for handing him a car to kill himself in...he had ADD and when I finally gave him my car at graduation, he had had 4 small-med accident in it in 6 months.
I decided to have him sign the car back over to me, I had always had nightmares as did others in the family, that he would go this way.He reallly hated me awhile for taking the car back, but I couldn't live with that guilt if that call ever came...you know...the call all parents have nightmares about when they're children are working to become adults?
I got that call about 10 am on sunday, sept 21...I had been single and lived alone for 6 yrs prior to this accident, the day before I just happened to move in with a male room mate.
When my older son called, just hearing him crying, my body went numb...his wife got on the phone...I didnt hear much...John...accident...I said but he is ok!! he is ok right?
she just said noooo and I lost my mind screaming, I fell and thank God there were people around, I was 3 hours away from where the rest of the family lived, that was the longest ride of my life.
I am so thankful that just weeks before we made our peace, well he let me know it was no big deal and he understood now WHY I did it...my son had just become a man...and now he is gone.
I feel part of my heart was taken with him, because his body was considered a 'crime scene' I couldn't see him, so the coroner showed me pics from the scene...if I can give any mom advice, I would have to say, dont look..I feel his injuries, I will wake up feeling crushed with my throat closed in pure panic.And those images never leave my mind...I see his beautiful pics and immediatly my mind flashes to how he looked 15 yrs older after he died..those minutes it took him to die, my God, I wish I could have taken that for him.I would have taken his place without a second thought, but now I am left with a ton of unanswered questions, none makes any sense, none of his injuries were fatal (dislocated shoulder and 2 broken ribs)his left arm was reached over the back seat where he was holding his friends hand as he died, he first grabbed him, and apparently all he could do is hold his hand, he only will say John was "stoic" meaning he was the only one in the car not screaming, makes sense since I know his airway was compromised.
This is the only time in 20 yrs I wish I wasn't a nurse, but how hard is it if u can reach a hand, to move a head? God I am so filled with questions...I cried on the hill above where he died talking to him a week or so after, begging him to let me know somehow that he didn't suffer...I was rocking back and forth on the edge of the cliff...I jumped up suddenly realizing I had relaxed so deeply I almost fell asleep, I had a warmth I hadn't felt since my last hug from him..a second conversation with him I had at the cemetery,I was telling him I just wanted to be with him...it was a beautiful almost indian summer September...very few clouds in the sky..as soon as I said I wanted to join him the 1 cloud up there covered the sun and it got very cold...John was a comedian in life..always trying to make people feel better, so my immediate response to the chill was OK! OK! I know I have to stay here and I have family still to look after..the sun then shone again brightly and it warmed up again...my family doesn't believe once your dead you can communicate..so as I told my daughter this she asked..mom...do you need to go to a Hospital?? I said, noo...he let me know, he was ok.
I also heard him at the cliff as I was relaxing, right before I almost fell asleep I hear " Don't cry mommy, don't cry" over and over like a cheer, and every few times there was a second voice (I lost a baby during pregnancy) That really shocked me..but that is how I chose to interpret it.
It's been a little over 4 months now, and the loss is as raw as it was 4 months ago, so I thought I might come here and communicate with other moms.
Thank you for your time..
Carie
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