having a down day...

I am having a down day today... I just miss my Shawn a lot...monday will be a year and a half since he left me... I think its just so rough bc I am looking these kids- now almost 4 and almost 3...and they are so different then when he left.. and i know he wouldnt recognize them... i think another major problem with me coping is the fact that i am physically able to move on and he isnt. Its not like a divorce for us- where both can move on to another spouse... he is in heaven playing golf all day and playing with his puppies.... and i am down here with our kids raising them as we wanted to.... having no choice but to go forward....my kids barely remember him and that breaks my heart... and every time i feel something not right in my body- i feel like i am going to die- all mental i know bc a 29 yr old should not think that.... but a side effect of waking up to a 27 yr old husband dead on the floor... anyway, just wanted to vent bc while he is always my waking thoughts... some days are ten times better than others... and even the 20 min workout is not shaking this funk today :( hopefully you guys are having a better day than me...

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Permalink Reply by Connie on July 30, 2010 at 10:42pm

Liz, My heart goes out to you. At 29 years old you should not be grieving over your husband. I don't know why God would take a 27 year old man but I guess he has his reasons. You and your husband should be very much in love raising your children together. I had my husband for 46 years and I am miserable without him. I love him so very much and I wait to be reunited with him. That is my purpose in life now. It must be so hard raising small children without their father. My kids are grown and they are devastated. I wish there were something that I could say that would make you feel better but the only thing I can say is that I will keep you and your children in my prayers. May God Bless you all.

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on July 30, 2010 at 10:43pm

JUDY,
I FELT COMPELLED TO RESPOND TO YOU BECAUSE I FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO. I DO HAVE A FULLTIME JOB, BUT I STILL HAVE LOTS OF ALONE TIME. PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME TO FIND A CHURCH TO GET INVOLVED IN, JOIN A SENIOR CENTER, OR DO VOLUNTEER WORK. WELL I HAVENT DONE ANY OF THE SUGGESTIONS BECAUSE I REALLY DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. I THOUGHT ABOUT LOOKING FOR A SECOND JOB BUT DONT KNOW HOW EASY THAT WOULD BE. I WANT TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO TO KEEP MYSELF CONTINUALLY BUSY, HOPING I WONT FEEL SO LONELY. I DONT HAVE MUCH OF A SUPPORT GROUP, AS MY DAUGHTER IS THE ONLY ONE THAT LIVES CLOSE BY.SHE IS 23 AND BUSY WITH HER OWN LIFE.I THOUGHT I WOULD PASS MY SUGGESTIONS ON TO YOU AND HOPE IT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER TO KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR LONELINESS.I HAVE NEVER BEEN MUCH OF A LONER EITHER. I HAVE ALWAYS NEEDED A BUDDY TO DO THINGS WITH.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on July 31, 2010 at 6:44am

CINDY POWELL said:

JUDY,
I FELT COMPELLED TO RESPOND TO YOU BECAUSE I FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO. I DO HAVE A FULLTIME JOB, BUT I STILL HAVE LOTS OF ALONE TIME. PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME TO FIND A CHURCH TO GET INVOLVED IN, JOIN A SENIOR CENTER, OR DO VOLUNTEER WORK. WELL I HAVENT DONE ANY OF THE SUGGESTIONS BECAUSE I REALLY DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. I THOUGHT ABOUT LOOKING FOR A SECOND JOB BUT DONT KNOW HOW EASY THAT WOULD BE. I WANT TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO TO KEEP MYSELF CONTINUALLY BUSY, HOPING I WONT FEEL SO LONELY. I DONT HAVE MUCH OF A SUPPORT GROUP, AS MY DAUGHTER IS THE ONLY ONE THAT LIVES CLOSE BY.SHE IS 23 AND BUSY WITH HER OWN LIFE.I THOUGHT I WOULD PASS MY SUGGESTIONS ON TO YOU AND HOPE IT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER TO KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR LONELINESS.I HAVE NEVER BEEN MUCH OF A LONER EITHER. I HAVE ALWAYS NEEDED A BUDDY TO DO THINGS WITH.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on July 31, 2010 at 6:52am

I do belong to a wonderful church and church family, but like everyone else they all have their families to take of. I dont have alot of friends anymore for some reason, it seems like they all disapeared when he passed. maybe they feel like i might try and take what they have. all i want is someone to talk too in person over coffee or a bite to eat. my son is really trying to help me but he does have his own life,job,friends. who wants their mom hanging with them when they go out. I dont know I am just so confused about my feelings etc. thanks for listening have a great day all of you. big hugs to all

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on August 2, 2010 at 3:54pm

judy,
i really do understand. my husband and i basically didnt have alot of friends. we just had each other. the very few friends we had, like you, seem to be non existant now. seems like everyone is just too busy to take the time out to even call anymore. i have met a few women through a grief support group but even they are tied up with their family. i would like to have someone to have coffee with and talk with in person also so i really do understand. i am finding myself getting very depressed because i do feel so very alone. no friends and really no family either. so judy i really do know where you are comming from.my daughter is 23 and believe me she definantly isnt interested in hanging out with mom.i am here for you when you need me.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 2, 2010 at 8:35pm

CINDY POWELL said:

judy,
i really do understand. my husband and i basically didnt have alot of friends. we just had each other. the very few friends we had, like you, seem to be non existant now. seems like everyone is just too busy to take the time out to even call anymore. i have met a few women through a grief support group but even they are tied up with their family. i would like to have someone to have coffee with and talk with in person also so i really do understand. i am finding myself getting very depressed because i do feel so very alone. no friends and really no family either. so judy i really do know where you are comming from.my daughter is 23 and believe me she definantly isnt interested in hanging out with mom.i am here for you when you need me.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 2, 2010 at 8:35pm

jumpinjudi said:

CINDY POWELL said:
judy,
i really do understand. my husband and i basically didnt have alot of friends. we just had each other. the very few friends we had, like you, seem to be non existant now. seems like everyone is just too busy to take the time out to even call anymore. i have met a few women through a grief support group but even they are tied up with their family. i would like to have someone to have coffee with and talk with in person also so i really do understand. i am finding myself getting very depressed because i do feel so very alone. no friends and really no family either. so judy i really do know where you are comming from.my daughter is 23 and believe me she definantly isnt interested in hanging out with mom.i am here for you when you need me.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 2, 2010 at 8:36pm

jumpinjudi said:

CINDY POWELL said:
judy,
i really do understand. my husband and i basically didnt have alot of friends. we just had each other. the very few friends we had, like you, seem to be non existant now. seems like everyone is just too busy to take the time out to even call anymore. i have met a few women through a grief support group but even they are tied up with their family. i would like to have someone to have coffee with and talk with in person also so i really do understand. i am finding myself getting very depressed because i do feel so very alone. no friends and really no family either. so judy i really do know where you are comming from.my daughter is 23 and believe me she definantly isnt interested in hanging out with mom.i am here for you when you need me.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 2, 2010 at 8:36pm

jumpinjudi said:

jumpinjudi said:
CINDY POWELL said:
judy,
i really do understand. my husband and i basically didnt have alot of friends. we just had each other. the very few friends we had, like you, seem to be non existant now. seems like everyone is just too busy to take the time out to even call anymore. i have met a few women through a grief support group but even they are tied up with their family. i would like to have someone to have coffee with and talk with in person also so i really do understand. i am finding myself getting very depressed because i do feel so very alone. no friends and really no family either. so judy i really do know where you are comming from.my daughter is 23 and believe me she definantly isnt interested in hanging out with mom.i am here for you when you need me.

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 4, 2010 at 6:45pm

jumpinjudi said:

I am sorry your having a bad day,its been that way for me today also its three months since my love passed and i feel so alone. I having a real hard time with being alone I am not and never have been a loner. I LIVE ALONE AND NOONE EVEN COMES TO VISIT. i have two adult kids but only one here in Pgh. no siblings neither. what am i to do??? does anyone have any ideas?? i dont drive to join any groups. i need to fine a senior group thank you for listening have a good day tomorrow and a sleepful nite/
big hugs

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 4, 2010 at 6:47pm

ok i thunk what we really need here at this site is a chat room I dont know how to get one does anyone else know????

Permalink Reply by jumpinjudi on August 4, 2010 at 6:47pm

ok i thunk what we really need here at this site is a chat room I dont know how to get one does anyone else know????