Kaye, it has only been 4 months for me since I lost my husband. He shot himself on our wedding night, in his woodshop. The pain still has not gone away. John was always my plan B. He worked at Insight for 25 years, since we were 17. Whenever I saw a Insight truck , I would look to see if it was him, whenever I drove by Insight I would look at the parking lot hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Now I have nothing to look forward to. I am also seeing a therapist. he is alright. He is trying to push me to box up John's shoes and clothes. I wear his clothes or some article of clothing every day. I wear his jewelry. He loved sterling silver. So the pain has not gotten better for me. I feel the same as I did that night. He made my dream of 25 years come true and we were so happy. I never thought he would try suicide with me. This was his 4th and final attempt at suicide over the years. It was the first time he used a gun. I am sorry I was not much help for you, but if we can confide in each other, it might help ease the pain a little bit.