My husband has been gone almost 1 year and its been very hard. But I think the hardest part was my friends saying stuff like, get over it, move on with your life,ect... They just could not understand..I found this little note and it has helped me. It is not my words but it says what I feel. So Here go." I believe grief is a process that involes a lot of time, energy and determination. I won`t GET OVER IT in a hurry, so don`t rush me. I believe grief is intensly PERSONAL. This is my grief. Don`t tell me what is right or wrong. I`m doing it my way, in my time. I believe grief is affecting me in many ways. I am being affect spiritually, physically, emotionlly,socially, and mentally.If I am not acting like my old self, it`s because I`m not my old self and some days I don`t understand my self. I believe I will be affected in some ways by this loss for the rest of my life. As I get older, I will have new insight into what this death means to me. My loved one will CONTINUE to be part of my life and influence me until the day I die. I believe I am being changed by the process. I see life differently. Some things that were once important to me, aren`t any more. Some things I use to PAY little or no attentions to are now important. I think a new me is emerging, so don`t be surpised....And don`t stand in my way" I hope this can help some of you who are going though the same thing. God bless you all.

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Replies to This Discussion

so very true untill they walk in the same shoes no one should tell you how to cope and then everyone grieves differently god bless
Cathy, your words are exactly right! We will be a new "me", I have trouble going from a "we" to an "I".
I'm here for you, as we both have to go through a first anniversary on the same day. Take care, I'll be thinking of you.
By the way, where do you live? I'm in Wisconsin
Friends....
Barb
Cathy, so very true. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
Thank u all for your support. I have found a good chat site for grieving people. Sometimes it helps to chat with other when you are having a bad day. I go there often. It`s Otrib.com My name there is littlered.

Randolph L. Schrader said:
Cathy, so very true. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
Wow, so true. Thank you for posting that.
yes, grief is a process - a long hard process. It's been 13 months for me and I'm still learning how to be just me, instead of half a couple. sometimes I think I'll never make it through to the other side and learn to live again as a single person after 35 years together.
Cathy, This is so very true. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel! Unless they have experienced what you are going through, they don't have a clue and have no right to tell you what and when you should feel and when you should 'get over it.' You are living this nightmare and no one can know what you feel. I wish you the very best and will remember you in my prayers.
Cathy, This is so very true. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel! Unless they have experienced what you are going through, they don't have a clue and have no right to tell you what and when you should feel and when you should 'get over it.' You are living this nightmare and no one can know what you feel. I wish you the very best and will remember you in my prayers.
Cathy, true friends would never say it in the first place and you are so right to do it your way without anyone else telling you how to go about. I am to a point where I just do not bother with people and have only friends who let me be. I am missing my soulmate so bad while everything else still turns till and this is what i do not understand that we have to be 'normal' again, I SAY NO WAY ONLY MY WAY!

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