Always on my mind

Reminders of our loved ones can be everywhere - in a song on the radio, a familiar scent, a special spot or a favorite food. What are the things that remind you of your loved one? Do you avoid them or seek them out?

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Permalink Reply by Hallie on September 13, 2012 at 4:31pm

It's okay to seek them out. I think our subconscious does what is needed to help us feel that connection to those that we've lost. Whatever eases some of the grief and some of the pain at the moment. Sometimes the reminders hurt and sometimes they seem to be just what we need. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister but am glad that you find ways to feel connected to her.

Permalink Reply by Anne Kane on October 9, 2012 at 3:24pm

I am having a difficult time selling the home that I grew up in, and am thinking of ways to retain it, perhaps to rent it for now and have it as a safe harbor should the need arise. Has anyone any experience with this?

Permalink Reply by Hallie on October 10, 2012 at 5:36pm

I have a Life Is A Journey sign over my kitchen sink that is a constant reminder of my grandmother. It was one of her favorite sayings and I try to remember it and live it as my daily mantra.

Permalink Reply by Maria on November 4, 2012 at 11:53am

Hi, I lost my boyfriend of 9 years on September 5, 2007. I thought I went thru the 5 stages of grief but I can't let him go. People tell me that I have to move on, but its so hard.

He was a nuclear engineer for the Navy stationed in Virginia. He lost his life in a car accident.

I called his cell and the police picked up his phone but because I was not considered as family, they would not give me any information. I gave the police his family information. His mother told me the next day.

I was never a part of any support group. People tell me I have to move on, its been too long. I still have every doll he gave me. People are telling me that I should throw them away. I lost all his letters to me during my move. I don't want to let him go.

Permalink Reply by Anne Kane on November 5, 2012 at 4:38pm

It is very hard when you have no one to help you with your loss. I don't know who is 'advising' you, but with all such things, 'consider the source.' Perhaps you may want to consider finding a counselor or clergy person and taking some time to talk things out. People who have acquainted themselves with the "stages of grief" are often only marginally literate with respect to loss. There is no such thing as just completing grief and being done with it, although the prominence of grief over time is something to take a look at. So, I apologize if I have compounded unwelcome advice with more advice, but I am just thinking that someone outside your immediate circle might help you.

Maria said:

Hi, I lost my boyfriend of 9 years on September 5, 2007. I thought I went thru the 5 stages of grief but I can't let him go. People tell me that I have to move on, but its so hard.

He was a nuclear engineer for the Navy stationed in Virginia. He lost his life in a car accident.

I called his cell and the police picked up his phone but because I was not considered as family, they would not give me any information. I gave the police his family information. His mother told me the next day.

I was never a part of any support group. People tell me I have to move on, its been too long. I still have every doll he gave me. People are telling me that I should throw them away. I lost all his letters to me during my move. I don't want to let him go.

Permalink Reply by Hallie on November 11, 2012 at 2:58pm

It's funny. There are times that I miss my grandmother more than others and she always seems to know. I have a small angel keepsake that holds some of her and my grandfather's ashes that hangs from the rearview mirror of my car. It always seems that when I am missing her the most or hit a particulary low patch that the pendant swings back and forth and hits some part of the glass. Coincidence - maybe but I like to think of it as her way of letting me know that she is there. Highly recommend as a way to have a part of your loved one with you.

angel memorial locket

Permalink Reply by Come Be Refreshed 119 on November 14, 2012 at 11:25pm

Do keepsakes and articles of a loved one who has died slow the healing process down when it comes to mourning?

Permalink Reply by littlechatykathy@hotmail.com on November 23, 2012 at 9:15am

My husband died 4 year ago. I tseems it taken me a long time to get to the point were I felt at peace with his death. He died from agnet oragne cancer from viet nan. For several years i was angry at the way the VA handled his cancer then one day it came ot me. they did the best they could . then I had to forgive the people who had broken into my home and taken all most every thing in it that remminded me of him. then I found peace for that . It seems like I learned a lot of things that I never would of it that didnt happend. I know some day I see him again . He still gives me signs he ok at least that the way I see it. then there the song You are always on my mond which he is but in a good way. Many good things came from him He saved a boy from the gang he helped several viet nan vets and he helped many others in his time of being a sober man . so I feel peace from god that his life helped many. His death also

Permalink Reply by Christine Bastone on November 23, 2012 at 9:23am

Not if they comfort you.

Jackie Jackson. said:

Do keepsakes and articles of a loved one who has died slow the healing process down when it comes to mourning?

Permalink Reply by Hallie on November 23, 2012 at 3:53pm

Its so funny...I was reminded of my grandmother yesterday everywhere I turned around. I think somedays the reminders are a little more prevelant that we are looking for some sort of reassurance that a loved one is with us.

Permalink Reply by littlechatykathy@hotmail.com on November 23, 2012 at 5:40pm

I donot think it slow down the healing for me my husband thing helped me remmber him nd remmber and working with the grief and mourning helps . I read some where to face the pain not run from it

Permalink Reply by Cross on January 1, 2013 at 7:32pm

This fall a classmate of mine had suddenly died, Heart Attack. I hadn't seen her since High School and never really ran around with her, as in friends. However, I decided to attend her Celebration of Life, as I did remember her from high school and believe I had met her since & did not realize who she was, just that she was familiar and did not know why. Her celebration of life was beautiful. The songs that were sung by her friend was Great. I sat and prayed alot through this. As I was driving away, I turned on the radio and the song that was sung, that I had just heard was on the Radio. God Forgives, just have to ask God. She made her positive mark in this world and I am glad I was a classmate of hers.