Reminders of our loved ones can be everywhere - in a song on the radio, a familiar scent, a special spot or a favorite food. What are the things that remind you of your loved one? Do you avoid them or seek them out?
Our son Billy died on June 26 2004, four days before his 29th birthday. I wanted to share our reminders of our loved ones can be everywhere. From my own experience of what I went through with the loss of our son Billy and wanting to know that he was ok and if we could somehow receive any signs from Billy that he was still near to us and that he could let us know.
About 10 months after Billy crossed over to heaven, I began to take photographs at random to us if Billy could give us a reminder that he is close by. I had read that one of the ways that our loved ones can let us know that they can be everywhere are through photographs, so I began to start taking photographs at random to see if that was possible, and to my amazment it works.
We have received many reminders that Billy is always close and everwhere we go throught the many photographs that we have taken over the past few years. We have downloaded 3 the the types of photographs that we are able to take that gives us a reminder that our loved ones are always near and everywhere we are. My favorite are the photos of the moon in the shape of a heart of which we have about 400 of that type and the other is of our Christmas tree in which the lights are streaking, I call those Billy's Christmas gift to us. We have a website www.oursonbilly.com which everyone is welcome to visit read our complete story and view a few pages of the amazing type of photographs that we are able to take.
my brother ,Bailey, died in oct. It wasn't a big surprise although he was only 61. I'm his only sibling and our dad died in '56. My whole family kives in ohio and I'm in ny . I feel so alone, even around my family here. It's as if no one remembers him or acknowledges that I may be feeling sad about his death,. His birthday is on the 24th of dec. the same day my Dad was buried. I keep choking up and hiding in my room because no one cares to understand or even wants to acknolrdge my loss. I haven't taken good care of my own health and feel guilty about being alive still. I know all about "survivor's remorse" I just found this website after looking once again at bailey's guest book wondering why more people haven't written in it. I extended a year with hopes that friends would share memories and perhaps pictures but no one seems interested. I;m so sad he's gone yet everone acts as if he never was. I cry almost every nite and don't understand life anymore, if I ever did
Nancy, I completely understand how you feel about your family's lack of concern. I have dealt with this from my family even before my sister died. I used to get so angry with my mother because she ignored my sister for years and now I doubt she has even been on the site. However it is their loss use it as a means for you to honor your brother and feel close to him. Don't hide it even if they are uncomfortable put out your mementos. I have my sister's stocking hanging and her xmas picture is out. I say Abby would have liked..... or I wish abby could see....and when everyone gets quiet I go on with my story. I invite you to be a friend and there are many here that could help you. Click on my name and you can join in any of my discussions. Abby's website is included and I would love to visit your brothers and leave him a poem I will try to find a minute to help you honor his birthday tomorrow if you will send me the name.From a friend sharing grief Stephanie http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/abby-hoda/homepage.aspx
Sorry I haven't gotten back to you after your kind support. I reached out to this group but didn't return to it because, I guess, I didn't have faith in strangers either. I was so wrong. I'm sitting here crying after reading what you wrote to me. It felt good to get such a caring response from a stranger. I would like very much to join your group of friends. I will try to do better in the future to keep up.
When did you lose your sister? How did she die? Please don't feel you have tto share too much with me, whatever you are comfortable with.
Nancy, I am so glad to hear from you. I have thought about you alot since we seem to have family similarities. I was hoping my family would go to my sisters memorial site at Xmas but they didn't. Why am I surprised? We are all strangers but yet because we are bound by grief we can know and understand each other. My sister Abby's website is included and if you click on it below you can read all about her. She was diagnosed after graduation with extreme paranoid schizophrenia. She was Deaf so for the most part she received very little treatment because 30 years ago the communication was not available in the mental health field. She was hospitalized at the state facility in Miss. for 20 years. My family virtually ignored her and I would drive from Okla to Miss. 2-3 times a year to see her. Finally the approval came for me to move her to Okla. I was naive about her care and the mental health system but I loved her deeply and she was so sweet that I kept up the fight of my life. She broke her ankle in 12/06 and went into respiratory distress in the ER and had to be put on a ventilator. I called all of my family but I was the only one with her for 7 days. From that point she had breathing problems and was hospitalized 6 more times before she died on 9/4/07. She was on psychotropic meds for years and was overweight and I guess it was all her heart could take. I choose to believe the Lord thought she had been through enough. Tell me more about your brother. What was his full name? Where is his guest book listed? Sorry I didn't mean to write a book. My e-mail is email@example.com Abby's site is (click on it) http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/abby-hoda/homepage.aspx
Take care of yourself. God Bless Stephanie
hey stephanie, I can certainly relate to those lonely uncomfortable nights in the hospital. My brothers would not come and see my mom before she died. One of them she had called the week before and asked him to call her on his voice mail and he never did. My other brother felt guilty about not helping with the care of my mother and said so many bad things that i know my mother heard 2-3 days before her death. I don't understand family dynamics, dysfunctional or not. These people birthed you or you birthed them and raised you. How can you turn your back on them when you need them the most. It sickens me and makes me so angry at my brothers, enough that our relationships our now unrepairable in my book. I get through it knowing that I did what my mother wanted and did everything in my power to keep her comfortable and let her die in my home. I hope all these people who do these things to their loves ones suffer for a long time. My thoughts are with you.
Yes. The reminders are all around. In music, a smell, a stuffed animal that I once thought I should throw out and now glad I didnt. I pass by certain places my son and I went, or think of certain foods he liked and hated. Sometimes I am sad but for the most part, it feels better having more around me. I have no desire to ignore any thought or feeling. I try to think of a good time when I am sad. I have more sad days then not. He has only been gone 6 weeks, and it is fresh in my mind. the months that went by, the weeks he got sicker, the days, waiting to see if this was the day. then down to the last few minutes. The pain was horrible! But when i saw his face light up, eyes open wide and he smiled a big smile, and then went peacefully once i said his sister was here, well i knew he saw someone and chose to go with to heaven. had I not seen it, I would not have believed it. I am grateful for every memory. it is what I have left. This writing to all helps a great deal. I dont ever want to feel like I cant talk about him, nor do i want anyone to ever think they cant talk about him to me. he was my baby, and I heard his first breath and his last. he knows i love him, and I know he loves me. the more memory, the better.
I still feel like i smell the scent of my dad. He passed away 1 year ago Sept. 8 He was a football coach and everytime I see a football player or game I recall the times he coached and I can still see him there. He was very competitive and I am the same way. I lost my brother in April 2006 and one day I thought I heard him in my moms house. I hear songs from the 1980's and I can't help but recall times of better life when we were all healthy and together.
Hi everyone, I lost my Dad On March 25, 2005. as the date worked out it was Good Friday. We were very close and he was 67. He was my best friend. It still hurts. I lost my other best friend my grandmother in 2004. After they died I needed a way to connect somehow with them. I felt like everyone thought I was grieving to long. It effects people differently. I found a site where I could set up a memorial to them. I put poems and pictures and light candles on special days or just when I'm thinking of them. It helps me anyway.
Lori, I have felt the same way about my sister's site. I have a place I can visit her and remember. I think everyone feels like I have grieved too long as well but I feel as if I have only just begun. If you want to share the site with us. Write anytime you need support. I will keep you in my prayers. Stephanie http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/abby-hoda/homepage.aspx
my father passed away on sept26,08 it was such a hard thing to deal with because he was a good father.also he called me on the phone before he went into the back to be check by the doctors in the er.i think about him everyday.and night.life is not the same without him.please tell me how to handle this .it seems that i can't get it out of my mind yet.i went to his house today seems like he should've been there sitting on the bed. i miss my daddy so much.this is the first time our daddy left us .we never had to go looking for him.because he was always home.rest in peace daddy 2-17-32 ----9-26-08