Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kathy King Kates on December 17, 2010 at 9:26pm

Ellen, you dear lady are still in the early stages of this process. You have been trying to be so strong and supportive for all of us but you must give yourself love and understanding too. Healing will come in time and everyones time is different. With Christmas and your anniversary coming up its very normal for you to feel depressed and want to cry cry cry. ITS OKAY.. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY.. The joy is there and will be available. Just love yourself. We love you and send lots of Doug Hugs to you...

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on December 17, 2010 at 9:32pm

Kathy I am even crying when writing this thank you...Peace to you .

Kathy King said:

Ellen, you dear lady are still in the early stages of this process. You have been trying to be so strong and supportive for all of us but you must give yourself love and understanding too. Healing will come in time and everyones time is different. With Christmas and your anniversary coming up its very normal for you to feel depressed and want to cry cry cry. ITS OKAY.. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY.. The joy is there and will be available. Just love yourself. We love you and send lots of Doug Hugs to you...

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on December 17, 2010 at 9:32pm

Kathy I am even crying when writing this thank you...Peace to you .

Kathy King said:

Ellen, you dear lady are still in the early stages of this process. You have been trying to be so strong and supportive for all of us but you must give yourself love and understanding too. Healing will come in time and everyones time is different. With Christmas and your anniversary coming up its very normal for you to feel depressed and want to cry cry cry. ITS OKAY.. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY.. The joy is there and will be available. Just love yourself. We love you and send lots of Doug Hugs to you...

Permalink Reply by Barbara Roth on December 17, 2010 at 10:05pm

Ellen, Listen to Kathy. You always have words of comfort for us, send yourself things on the computer to make yourself smile ( only kidding ). It's so hard to deal with this pain, to want something so bad,and know that it's not possible yet. You don't have a problem,Ellen, you just miss Doug. Take care of yourself, it hasn't been that long for us---feels like it, but it hasn't been. I value your friendship, we'll get through this. A big Doug hug to you my friend.

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on December 17, 2010 at 10:08pm

Thanks Barbara, but what should I send myself..:P I needed your words and touch of humor.  Peace

Barbara Roth said:

Ellen, Listen to Kathy. You always have words of comfort for us, send yourself things on the computer to make yourself smile ( only kidding ). It's so hard to deal with this pain, to want something so bad,and know that it's not possible yet. You don't have a problem,Ellen, you just miss Doug. Take care of yourself, it hasn't been that long for us---feels like it, but it hasn't been. I value your friendship, we'll get through this. A big Doug hug to you my friend.

Permalink Reply by Kathy King Kates on December 17, 2010 at 10:15pm

Ellen, you are good at writing to us. How about blogging to Doug or starting a journal. Share all your feelings good and bad. You know he will know.

Permalink Reply by Carol Kayser on December 17, 2010 at 10:17pm

You are all amazing and sweet ladies, such gentle and comforting words to Ellen.  It is okay to cry Ellen, I have been doing a ton of it myself the last few days.  As I walk with the dog in the park where we used t go, I just look up to the sky and tell my Jack that I love him dearly.  I am with you though, I really miss those wonderful hugs and that gentle voice of his.  It has been 3 months and it is our 39th wedding anniversary on Dec. 31st.   December is very hard for all of us. 

 

Take care of yourself Ellen and close your eyes and feel your Doug hugging you:)

Carol 

Ellen Brant said:

Kathy I am even crying when writing this thank you...Peace to you .

Kathy King said:

Ellen, you dear lady are still in the early stages of this process. You have been trying to be so strong and supportive for all of us but you must give yourself love and understanding too. Healing will come in time and everyones time is different. With Christmas and your anniversary coming up its very normal for you to feel depressed and want to cry cry cry. ITS OKAY.. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY.. The joy is there and will be available. Just love yourself. We love you and send lots of Doug Hugs to you...

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on December 17, 2010 at 10:19pm

Kathy I have a handwritten journal of letters and poems to Doug that I have been writing non stop when I am not on line. I hope I don't write here too much.

Kathy King said:

Ellen, you are good at writing to us. How about blogging to Doug or starting a journal. Share all your feelings good and bad. You know he will know.

Permalink Reply by Debbie Treadway on December 17, 2010 at 10:30pm

Ellen, I totally understand how you feel. I too have been crying for the last 2 days. I work at a school and our Christmas break starts today. Waymon always enjoyed me being home with him during this time. I have 2 weeks to stay home and I always looked forward to it until now. I will be praying for you and thinking about you in the days ahead.

Permalink Reply by Barbara Roth on December 17, 2010 at 11:21pm

Ellen, you could always send yourself a "massage", maybe a fireplace?!!!! Love those. Listen to all of your friends here ---- do you see what you mean to all of us? I don't know if we will ever heal from this, 20 yrs from now, we'll still be hurting. We love our husbands, and always will . Doug hugs to you.      hugs.                                             

Permalink Reply by Edler Sterling Broussard on December 18, 2010 at 9:16am

Ellen, it's been 16 months since my wife has passed and I'm still riding this emotional roller-coaster. Things have gotten a little better for me but I still break down and cry when I think of my wife. The adjustment to live my life without her is very hard. You can't help feeling the way we do because we all trully loved and cared for our lost loved one. It's ok to do this, we all are grieving together. Hugs, Ed

Permalink Reply by Macky Smith on December 19, 2010 at 2:05pm

Ellen--I feel the same way--do the tears ever stop? My husband passed away November 6, 2010, my son passed away December 29, 2008. I feel the same way--when does the healing process start? I really don't know. my friends ask me to go to dinner, but I won't go. We went everywhere together. He died from lung cancer--the last words he could "utter" was Macky, I love you. There is all of these firsts, first Thanksgiving--our anniversary was December 12, 1981. Now the Christmas and New Years time of year, all "FIRSTS" for me. (my favorite uncle passed away January 25, 2009) I got a necklace through the funeral (husband) with his thumb print. I keep that close to my heart, along with my son's class ring. I started to put all the pictures away, decided against that--my heart is still breaking and i can"t take that away. I know GOD is with me--awfully hard not to ask "WHY" though.  (((hugs))) to all of you

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