Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda on August 30, 2010 at 10:52am

they want to bury my Johns urn with his dad they wouldn,t guve me anything.I have rights and my husband did to.They haven,t talked to me since John died.Cause they felt I didn,t fix John or bury him.he didn,t want to be buried.I do not want a few ashes I want the urn that I paid for with my John in it.I called its against the law with put a urn in someones coffin or grave unless its known and recorded by the state.Everyone has the right to where they r buried if put in a grave.John won,t have one.Its my inlaws graves not my Johns or mine.Its against the law.Or we all could throw anything or anybody we wanted in the grave.How would u feel your body just thrown somewhere.I don,t care of people think I,m nuts but i wouldn,t want someone to just get rid of my body.He is my Husband and he had my blesssings that I,d do the right thing I promised him I would carry out his wishes when I was ready.

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on August 30, 2010 at 12:09pm

linda: i agree with you he is your husband i would also want the urn people do not think you are nuts you do whatever it takes to get the urn back my wishes are for you in getting what you want and that is the urn with john in it good luck

Permalink Reply by gail stewart on August 30, 2010 at 4:17pm

Linda, I am so sorry for all rhat you are going thru.
Have you spoken to a lawyer. A circultation is usually free. It seems like this would be your best option, but you need to do it ASAP.
Good Luck,
Gail

Linda said:

they want to bury my Johns urn with his dad they wouldn,t guve me anything.I have rights and my husband did to.They haven,t talked to me since John died.Cause they felt I didn,t fix John or bury him.he didn,t want to be buried.I do not want a few ashes I want the urn that I paid for with my John in it.I called its against the law with put a urn in someones coffin or grave unless its known and recorded by the state.Everyone has the right to where they r buried if put in a grave.John won,t have one.Its my inlaws graves not my Johns or mine.Its against the law.Or we all could throw anything or anybody we wanted in the grave.How would u feel your body just thrown somewhere.I don,t care of people think I,m nuts but i wouldn,t want someone to just get rid of my body.He is my Husband and he had my blesssings that I,d do the right thing I promised him I would carry out his wishes when I was ready.

Permalink Reply by Colleen on August 31, 2010 at 6:31pm

I would call the police. You're his wife and those ashes were yours not your daughter's to do what you need to do. Are you the executor of his "estate" - whatever that might be? I hate to put it this way but the ashes have become a "possession" and even if you let your daughter watch over them for a time, they didn't belong to her. Did you pay the crematorium for them and do you have a receipt? That would be your best line of defense concerning proving who they belong to. If you had a will that stated any of what you said, that would be great, but it can't be required. You "own" the ashes and the police have the power to get them back for you since they are currently stolen property. You should file a report immediately and also call the funeral home handling the father's remains to let them know that you are the rightful owner and you won't allow this to happen. Now, go call the police.
You have to move quick or forever be sorry.

Permalink Reply by bc on August 31, 2010 at 8:16pm

I agree with Colleen, as if you haven't been through enough, the urn and ashes are rightfully yours and you should call the police tonight right away and let them handle this. Do it before its too late. I can't believe your daughter just gave them to the family without telling you. You will get them back and you will honor John's last wishes. It is against the law in every state I think to put more than one person in a grave. Don't waste any time. I wish you the best and let me know how this turned out. God Bless you,

Colleen said:

I would call the police. You're his wife and those ashes were yours not your daughter's to do what you need to do. Are you the executor of his "estate" - whatever that might be? I hate to put it this way but the ashes have become a "possession" and even if you let your daughter watch over them for a time, they didn't belong to her. Did you pay the crematorium for them and do you have a receipt? That would be your best line of defense concerning proving who they belong to. If you had a will that stated any of what you said, that would be great, but it can't be required. You "own" the ashes and the police have the power to get them back for you since they are currently stolen property. You should file a report immediately and also call the funeral home handling the father's remains to let them know that you are the rightful owner and you won't allow this to happen. Now, go call the police.
You have to move quick or forever be sorry.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on August 31, 2010 at 8:25pm

Linda, wow I'm so sorry you have to go thru this. My sugestion would be to call the prosacutors office or the surragates office where wills and those kinds of matters are handled someone should be able to direct you where you need to go . You need an emergencey restraining order to stop it and a judge is the only one to issue one. I would hit the court house ask to speak to anyone who could help maybe a judges law clerk, go in calm but let it be known it is urgent because of the service. I really wish you luck please let me know how you make out if worse case they might have to wind up exzuming ( sorry about the spelling ) the father and retrive the urn, good luck

Permalink Reply by Kim on September 1, 2010 at 8:11am

Oh Linda, that is just awful. I am so sorry your daughter did that. I would call an attorney and see if you can get some answers about your rights over the phone. Just explain your situation and urgency for an answer to the secretary, I'm sure if she has a heart she will pass you through to the attorney. Good Luck

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on September 1, 2010 at 8:15am

linda: please let us know what is going on with john ashes. i hope you win this battle what is yours is yours keep fighting for what is right and good luck

Permalink Reply by bc on September 2, 2010 at 9:55pm

Linda, I'm thinking of you and wondering what happened today. I'm praying that you were able to get the urn and ashes back. If not, remember...it's never too late!

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on September 4, 2010 at 11:00pm

Linda, this is a tragic story. I hope you take the good advice given above by Coleen, Virginia and Kim, and follow through as soon as possible. If he is buried with his father, graves have been dug up before. I can't imagine any judge siding with your daughter or your husbands family on this issue.

Nancy