Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on October 16, 2010 at 7:35pm

Yes, I am sure 5years probably seems like yesterday just as 3 years feels that way for me. I had Abby cremated and spread her ashes in Miss so I don't have a cemetary to visit. I created an angel garden so I can only go there and sit and remember. She was deaf and last night we were in a restaurant and there were deaf teenagers doing sign language and I was so drawn to it. So many regrets her life could not have been better. Just wanted to talk about it. Stephanie


Rachel Laws said:

I know what it feels like to lose your sibling Stephanie. It's been almost 5 years and every day or so I think about my brother. I miss him so much. Please know you're not alone :)

Permalink Reply by Effie on October 17, 2010 at 8:57am

It's been a little over three years for me. Just had my brother's, would have been, 35th birthday. I saw his boys who are 5 and 7 now, this summer. His widow is engaged and pregnant. So much changes yet so much remains the same. Life does go on though. I'm ok with that. In fact it gives me a lot of hope. I have been reading this book called Life After Life and it's very comforting. I feel more and more than we will see our siblings again. And they TRULY ARE here with us in spirit and will be there to welcome us home, when it's our turn. But it's clear we all have more to do before it's our time. And we should make the best use of it we can. In honor of the lives we lost. Too soon. LOVE.




Stephanie said:

Yes, I am sure 5years probably seems like yesterday just as 3 years feels that way for me. I had Abby cremated and spread her ashes in Miss so I don't have a cemetary to visit. I created an angel garden so I can only go there and sit and remember. She was deaf and last night we were in a restaurant and there were deaf teenagers doing sign language and I was so drawn to it. So many regrets her life could not have been better. Just wanted to talk about it. Stephanie


Rachel Laws said:

I know what it feels like to lose your sibling Stephanie. It's been almost 5 years and every day or so I think about my brother. I miss him so much. Please know you're not alone :)

Permalink Reply by Effie on October 17, 2010 at 8:57am

It's been a little over three years for me. Just had my brother's, would have been, 35th birthday. I saw his boys who are 5 and 7 now, this summer. His widow is engaged and pregnant. So much changes yet so much remains the same. Life does go on though. I'm ok with that. In fact it gives me a lot of hope. I have been reading this book called Life After Life and it's very comforting. I feel more and more than we will see our siblings again. And they TRULY ARE here with us in spirit and will be there to welcome us home, when it's our turn. But it's clear we all have more to do before it's our time. And we should make the best use of it we can. In honor of the lives we lost. Too soon. LOVE.




Stephanie said:

Yes, I am sure 5years probably seems like yesterday just as 3 years feels that way for me. I had Abby cremated and spread her ashes in Miss so I don't have a cemetary to visit. I created an angel garden so I can only go there and sit and remember. She was deaf and last night we were in a restaurant and there were deaf teenagers doing sign language and I was so drawn to it. So many regrets her life could not have been better. Just wanted to talk about it. Stephanie


Rachel Laws said:

I know what it feels like to lose your sibling Stephanie. It's been almost 5 years and every day or so I think about my brother. I miss him so much. Please know you're not alone :)

Permalink Reply by sandy davis on November 25, 2010 at 7:55pm

TODAY IS THANKSGIVING. THIS IS MY SECOND THANKSGIVING WITHOUT MY BROTHER. I AM THE COOK OF THE FAMILY AND I MISS COOKING FOR HIM SO BAD I HURT. I LOVED COOKING FOR HIM BECAUSE HE WAS A BACHELOR AND LOVED GOOD HOME COOKING AND THAT WAS THE ONE THING I COULD SO EASILY DO FOR HIM THAT HE SO MUCH APPRECIATED. I COOKED HIS FAVORITES AND SENT HIM HOME WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF LEFTOVERS. HE WAS INDEPENDENT AND THIS WAS JUST ONE OF THE THINGS I COULD DO FOR HIM WITH MUCH ADO. HE WOULDN'T LET YOU DO TOO MUCH FOR HIM BUT AT THANKSGIVING IT WAS JUST A TRADITION THAT I WOULD COOK HIS FAVORITES JUST FOR HIM AND HE WOULD TAKE MANY PLATES HOME AND HE WAS ALWAYS SO GRATEFUL. THE LOSS IS JUST ALMOST MORE THAN I CAN BEAR. MY GROWN CHILDREN DO NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH I MISS HIM. THEY THING I SHOULD BE OK BY NOW AND I AM NOT. I AM NOT. NOT AT ALL. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MY MOM IS COPING BUT WE ARE SO DIFFERENT AND SHE IS SO MUCH STRONGER AND TOUGHER THAN I AM THAT MAYBE SHE CAN ACCEPT HIS DEATH, BUT I CANNOT AND I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL. I MISS HIM. HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO GO. NOBODY GETS IT. I HURT AND THEN I HURT SOME MORE. AND NOBODY GETS IT. I MISS HIM. I WANT HIM BACK. HE WAS SUCH A GOOD PERSON. SO GOOD TO MY MOM AND JUST AN HONORABLE MAN. THIS IS HARD BECAUSE I TOOK SUCH JOY IN COOKING THE THINGS HE ABSOLUTELY LOVED. HE WOULD SAY, JUST LIKE MEMA'S. THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT BECAUSE SHE WAS OUR GRANDMOTHER WE DEARLY LOVED WHO COOKED LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE TIMES HE TOLD ME GOOD AS MEMA'S. NOBODY GETS HOW I AM HURTING. THEY JUST DON'T GET IT. I MISS HIM. THIS IS SUCH A HORRIBLE TIME OF YEAR. I LOVED COOKING FOR HIM. I HAVE HAD A DOUBLE HURT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND LEFT ME TWO MONTHS AFTER MY BROTH3R DIED AND MY CHILDREN REALLY DON'T GET IT. THEY THINK I WAS NOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO MY BROTHER TO BE GRIEVING LIKE I AM. CLEARLY, THEY DON'T GET IT. SHAME ON THEM. MY HUSBAND IS SUCH A JERK. HE LEFT ME WHEN I WAS PHYSICALLY SICK AND GRIEVING MY BROTHER AND HE WALKED OUT. KICK EM WHEN THEY ARE DOWN AS THEY SAY. GOD GETS PEOPLE LIKE HIM. PLEASE DAVID, I HOPE YOU ARE RESTING IN PEACE EVEN THOUGH YOU MUST KNOW WE ARE SUFFERING WITH YOUR LOSS. YOUR WERE TOO YOUNG TO GO. PLEASE KNOW WE LOVED YOU AND LOVE YOU STILL. I JUST COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO COOK YOUR FAVORITES THIS YEAR NOR COULD I LAST YEAR. IT IS NOT GETTING ANY EASIER I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY ONE SAYS, IT IS NOT GETTING EASIER. LOVE YOU DAVID. WISH IT HAD BEEN ME INSTEAD OF YOU.

Permalink Reply by Marie on November 25, 2010 at 11:39pm

Sandy I know exactly how you feel and how the kids don't understand how bad it hurts... I'm thinking just like you.. That I don't know if I'll ever get over my brothers passing .. He died Sept 15, 2010.. He was 54 ... Not a day goes by yet that I don't hurt because of his passing ... I can't stand it 

Permalink Reply by Marie on November 25, 2010 at 11:39pm

Sandy I know exactly how you feel and how the kids don't understand how bad it hurts... I'm thinking just like you.. That I don't know if I'll ever get over my brothers passing .. He died Sept 15, 2010.. He was 54 ... Not a day goes by yet that I don't hurt because of his passing ... I can't stand it 

Permalink Reply by Marie on November 25, 2010 at 11:40pm

Sandy I know exactly how you feel and how the kids don't understand how bad it hurts... I'm thinking just like you.. That I don't know if I'll ever get over my brothers passing .. He died Sept 15, 2010.. He was 54 ... Not a day goes by yet that I don't hurt because of his passing ... I can't stand it 

Permalink Reply by sandy davis on November 26, 2010 at 9:07pm

MY BROTHER WAS TWO DAYS SHY OF 54 WHEN HE DIED. WE BURIED HIM ON HIS 54TH BIRTHDAY. WHAT TORTURE. I AM THE OLDEST OF THE THREE OF US, NOW TWO OF US. IT HAS BEEN AWFUL. SOMETIMES I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I SEE PEOPLE WHO LOOK A LOT LIKE HIM AND SOME ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE HIM AND MY HEART STARTS RACING. I GUESS I WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS TO A DEGREE. I AM SORRY YOU LOST YOUR BROTHER. IT REALLY TAKES ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING WHEN YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED IT. IT REALLY IS WORSE THAN YOU COULD IMAGINE. IT DOES GET A LITTLE BIT BETTER AT TIMES BUT THEN IT COMES FLOODING BACK IN. I WILL PRAY FOR ALL OF US WHO HAVE LOST BROTHERS OR SISTERS TO FIND SOME PEACE.
Marie said:

Sandy I know exactly how you feel and how the kids don't understand how bad it hurts... I'm thinking just like you.. That I don't know if I'll ever get over my brothers passing .. He died Sept 15, 2010.. He was 54 ... Not a day goes by yet that I don't hurt because of his passing ... I can't stand it 

Permalink Reply by Charlotte DelGaicco on December 7, 2010 at 1:17am

Carolyn, I am so sorry to hear of your brothers passing. I had to reply to you as on Feb 20, 2010, my brother was admitted to the hospital and he too had a ruptured colon. My brother was 53 and was mentally handicapped. He went to emergency surgery and spent the remainder of his time in 3 different hospitals. He was on the mend, and then something happened. He died suddenly on May 13, 2010. I miss him so very much as he and I were the best of friends in our early years and I have always lived near him, he lived with my mom, and would include him throughout the years in everything. He was my buddy, my best friend. I go through each day thinking of him and missing him so much. Some days are better than others. Though I find it very tearful to talk about him, I also find comfort in it. I spoke at his funeral and told his favorite childhood story to tell about the two of us. I know he would have done the same for me. My brothers favorite time of the year was Christmas and he believed in Santa. This year I will honor him by decorating his grave as he loved his house to be decorated. I talk to him often and let him know that I love and miss him very much. Next to my kids, he was my heart. When my mother and I would leave the hospital, he would wink and blow us a kiss. So daily I wink and blow a kiss to heaven. I really cannot tell you how I have made it this far, but I do find comfort in keeping his resting place beautiful with new flower arrangements, I make them myself, and I talk to him while I'm there.
Carolyn Newton said:

My brother died 21 days ago and i am unable to deal with his death, he just turned 40yrs. old on Feb. 12, 2010, he died Feb. 17, 2010. His colon ruptured and he went into cardiac arrest. I was not even aware of him being admitted into the hospital two days before, he told his wife not to worry me because he was expecting to have surgery that morning. The doctor spoke with him at 630am, his wife spoke with him at 730am, and he was preparing to go to surgery at 8am. As the nurse went to get him up, he collasped and died.
Please help me, all I do is cry and shake all the time, I'm unable to eat and as a result am losing a lot of weight. I also need to mention he was married for 11yrs. and has 2 daughters age 11yrs. and 4yrs., the family is traumatized.

Permalink Reply by Laurie Immerman on January 15, 2011 at 11:54pm

Hello All

 I wanted to introduce myself to the room.  My name is Laurie and i am twenty two years old. Today, Jan. 15th would of been my brother Daniels 26th birthday, unfortunetly he left us May 23rd 2009. I just thought to reach out somewhere so i searched for sibling greif support, where i found legacy. Not sure how it all works but am interested.

Permalink Reply by susan theriault on January 20, 2011 at 5:09pm

Thats how Im feeling also, my sister Stacie was like my twin. She died on December 3rd today its Jan 20th. You said its like a big part of you is gone. Thats how I feel. I pretend that she is still alive because I dont know how to face it. I dream of her all the time I dream she died then I wake up and realize its true. I dont know what to say to ease your pain but I have some of those feelings as well. Hang in there what keeps me going is I know I have many people who love me and need me. I wish I could say something that would help I will be thinking of you

SANDRA said:

I'm still trying to get past the fact that my sister is gone. She killed herself just over three months ago, and I'm not sure how to move on. She was my best friend and now i feel like a big part of who i am is just gone...

Permalink Reply by Barbara Sally Hupmphries on January 24, 2011 at 8:50am

My sister died very suddenly 7 months before I was born. At the time of my birth she would have been five years old. As I grew up she became like a ghost haunting me someone I felt so strongly but could not comprehend. I am now 21 and feel like no matter how much I tell myself that this is not my grief to feel or that I am not responsible for her death it is still escalating and as I grow so does the part that feels her loss. My family are wonderful but because of the close proxcimity of the deatht o my birth I grew up under a shoadow of fear for my safety. I have searched and searched and can't find any answers of even beginnings of answers as to how to express this even how to comprehend a life that had so much influence on me without our lives intersecting. Please anyone who has had this experience please share it with me....

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