Does anyone feel like other family aren't grieving at the same level as they are? I feel weird about this, but my pain is so intense and some people make comments that hurt me deeply as if they don't care like i do. Im soooo devastated but glad he's out of pain.
Last November I lost my older brother, he was only twenty-one and died from Diabetes 1. It was unexpected and no one knew he had it, neither did he. It turned out he had the flu for awhile, which we all knew about and during this time he picked up a rare case of Diabetes 1. Within two weeks of having this he died in my parent's home while I was at school.
It's only been five months since his death, and I thought at first that I was cooping well with the situation, and healing. But recently I have felt that I'm sinking into a deep hole of depression, I find myself sleeping more, and not really wanting to socalize. I just can't seem to let go, there's a part of me that says it's all a bad dream and that I will wake up. At the same time, I'm trying so hard to move on, but I'm not sure how I'm suppose to do this. I find myself pushing thoughts of him in the back of my head, and whenever he's brought up I can't handle it and break down and cry. He was just my dearest and best friend, and I really feel like a huge piece of my heart has been ripped out of me, I feel empty and heart broken.
Well it's been four weeks since the sudden passing of my brother and i know i can never be the same. I do feel less intensity of pain, however my sadness and sense off loss is more real now. I find comfort in two things: 1. that he is out of his downward spiral and free of pain and 2. of the many treasured memories that i can never and will never let go of.